Down on the playground Kathy was singing her favorite song.
"Wayside School is falling down,
falling down, falling down. Wayside School is falling down, my fair lady,
"Kids go splat as they hit the ground,
hit the ground, hit the ground. Kids go splat as they hit the ground, my fair lady."
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D. J. was walking across the playground with his head down.
"Hi, Dr. Jolly," said Louis. Louis called D.J. "Doctor Jolly" because he was always smiling.
But now D.J.'s smile was upside down. He looked up at Louis.
Louis had never seen such a sad face. "What's wrong?" he asked.
D.J. just shook his head, then looked back down at the ground and sadly walked away.
Louis felt like crying.
"Hey, Louis, what's wrong with D.J.?" asked Ron.
"He's so sad!" said Deedee.
"I don't know," said Louis, shaking his head. "Hey, you guys want to play kickball?"
"No thanks," said Deedee. "I can't have fun when D.J. is unhappy."
"Me neither," said Ron.
Across the playground, all the children quit their games when they saw D.J. Nobody could have fun when D.J. looked so sad.
Except Kathy! She sang:
"Broken bones and blood and gore, blood and gore, blood and gore. Broken bones and blood and gore, my fair lady.
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"We don't have no school no more,
school no more, school no more. We don't have no school no more, my fair lady."
The bell rang. D.J. sadly looked up at the school and sighed.
"Hey, Deej, snap out of it," said Myron.
D.J. stared through his friend.
"You want to walk up the stairs with us, Dojo?" asked Dameon.
D.J. shook his head. "I need to be alone," he mumbled.
Dameon and Myron looked at each other, then started up the stairs, leaving their sad friend behind.
D.J. headed on up, but stopped halfway between the ninth and tenth floors and sat down. He lowered his face into his hands and cried.
A moment later someone burst out laughing.
D.J. opened his eyes and saw Kathy standing over him.
"You shouldn't sit on the stairs, Dumb Jerk!" said Kathy with glee. "I almost kicked you in the head."
Kathy always called D.J. "Dumb Jerk."
She didn't like D.J. because he was always smiling. Now she was glad to see him so sad.
"Hi, Kathy," said D.J.
She plopped down on the stair next to him. "What
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happened?" she asked. "Did your dog die?" She laughed.
D. J. shook his head.
"Are your parents getting divorced?" she asked hopefully. "Did your house burn down?"
"No," said D.J. "My great-grandfather gave me a gold watch. It was over a hundred years old. I brought it to school today and-"
"You lost it!" Kathy exclaimed with delight.
D.J. sadly nodded.
Kathy laughed. "Oh boy, are you going to get in trouble!" She rubbed her hands together. "Your parents will ground you forever!"
"No, my parents never punish me," said D.J. "They know I learn from my mistakes."
"Oh," said Kathy, a little disappointed. "But your great-grandfather will hate you!" she said. "And hell never give you another present for the rest of your life. Not even for your birthday!"
"No, he loves me no matter what I do," said D.J. "He likes people, not things."
Again Kathy was disappointed. "But the watch was worth a lot of money," she tried. "And you'll have to pay for it out of your allowance." She laughed triumphantly, sure she had gotten him this time.
"I don't get an allowance," said D.J. "I don't like money."
Kathy frowned. Still, she knew there had to be
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some reason why he was sad about losing the watch. "You'll never know what time it is!" she squawked.
"So?" asked D.J. "Time isn't real."
Kathy didn't know what D.J. meant by that, but she didn't care. "Well, if you don't know what time it is," she told him, "you'll miss all your favorite television shows."
"I don't have a favorite television show," said D.J. "I never watch television." He thought a moment. "I'm not sure if we have a TV in our house or not. Maybe there's one in a closet somewhere."
Kathy glared at him. "Well, then how come you're so sad you lost that dumb watch?" she demanded.
"I'm afraid a bird might think it's food and choke on it," said D.J.
"Is that all?" shrieked Kathy.
D.J. smiled. "I guess you're right," he said. "A bird probably wouldn't choke. In fact, maybe he could use it to make a nest. I hope so, don't you?" He hopped to his feet. "Thanks for talking to me, Kathy. I feel a lot better now. You're a good friend."
He hurried up to Mrs. Jewls's room, taking the stairs two and three at a time.
As D.J.'s smile turned up, Kathy's smile turned down. She followed up after him, grumbling to herself. "He doesn't like money. He doesn't worry about time. He never watches television. Why is he always so happy?"
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Everyone in Mrs. Jewls's class cheered when they saw D. J. enter the room smiling.
Kathy walked in behind him frowning.
Mrs. Jewls was getting ready to show a movie. She gave D. J. a piece of black construction paper.
"Hey, look!" exclaimed Myron. "Oddly found a watch!"
Oddly, the bird, dropped the watch on the windowsill.
Kathy couldn't believe it! "It's D.J.'s," she griped.
Myron gave the watch to D. J.
"Here, you can have it, Kathy," said D.J. with a big smile. "It's worth a lot of money, and this way you won't miss any of your favorite television shows."
Kathy took the watch from him and put it around her wrist. "It'll probably make my skin turn green," she groused.
Mrs. Jewls started the movie projector. Stephen turned off the lights. Dameon pulled down the shades. D.J. held the piece of black construction paper under his nose, because his smile was so bright.