Book 12: Chapter 12: Guilt (3)

Both women wore traditional Chinese kung fu skirts, a style Dyon was neither used to or expecting. Of course, he had been the one to create these for them, but he had done so absentmindedly. He didn’t even quite remember creating them, nor did he understand why he had. But, something about their current outfits made his heart pound.Both had tight bindings around their torsos and waists, ending just below their chests and  accentuating their curves. Delicate embroidered flowers danced across their neck line, the folds of their skirts wrapping around their legs as they stepped forward.Lilith’s dress had a red top and black skirt, her binding a blemishless white. As for Saru, though her bindings were also white, her dress was a sky blue that matched her deep eyes.Dyon didn’t know what the odds were that he’d randomly create such a dress and that they would both choose to wear them, but he was far too lost in their beauty to think too deeply.“How beautiful.” Dyon said with a smile. “Are you two feeling better?”Saru and Lilith blushed lightly. They hadn’t shared much intimacy with Junior, if any at all. Saru especially spent much more time with the real Dyon than with Junior.“Yes..”Their shy replies made Dyon feel heated for a moment, but he directly tempered down the feeling.It seemed that his male instincts were still riding high. In the last century, before he entered this place, he never spent too long without the company of at least one of his wives, barring the four horsemen trial. Now, it had already been 60 years since he touched a woman, coupled with his inexplicable feelings toward these two, and it was a recipe for disaster.However, Dyon wasn’t an animal. Just because he had these wants, didn’t mean he couldn’t control himself.“Dyon… If you want to… I don’t mind.”Saru’s voice was as light as the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings. But, Dyon could still very clearly hear her, his cultivation was too deep.Dyon sighed. “Saru –”“You don’t need to say so much.” Saru cut Dyon off. “Whether you like it or not, Lilith’s husband sacrificed himself for your sake. I left my family and waited for you for 60 years. We already see you as our husband.”Dyon choked on air, gazing dazedly toward Saru. The Saru he knew would never say these words. If it was Clara or Ri, he wouldn’t be so surprised. But Saru was like neither of them.Lilith was even more likely to say such a thing than Saru, but even Lilith felt like finding a rock to hide under currently.Saru herself felt her heart fluttering wildly even though she tried to boldly meet Dyon’s gaze.The truth was that these weren’t her words at all. Rather, they were the words that Junior told her to say. Originally she hadn’t wanted to, but Junior was right. If she didn’t say this, Dyon would never accept them.Even if he didn’t drop down and say yes right here and now, the seed was already planted. It would nag and gnaw at the back of his mind until they finally moved his heart.Dyon’s expression flickered several times.She was right. Lilith’s husband was now gone because of him, could he have her stay a widow for the rest of her life?‘Wait… Why is Lilith still a virgin…?’Dyon was speechless. Could it be that Junior had planned to sacrifice himself for so long that he had chosen this path?The conflict made Dyon feel as though his chest would explode. Seeing him struggle like this, Saru immediately regretted her words, kicking herself inwardly.To Saru, she had at least hoped this would be an easy choice. She was certain that Dyon’s wives would accept both her and Lilith. When the truth of their past lives was known to them all, it would be even easier than it was now.But she had neglected the fact that Dyon was completely unaware of this truth. And, even if he knew that his wives would be okay with it, he was still ridden with guilt. He felt that every time he made such a selfish decision, his wives accepted only because they couldn’t bear to leave him. This wasn’t something he wanted to lean on. What kind of husband would he be if he did?Maybe one day he would really push it too far and they would finally choose to leave his side. Such a possibility tore Dyon from the inside out. It was a pain even his powerful Dao Heart didn’t seem to be able to handle.This was the reality. His resistance toward women like Lilith… Saru… Jade… never had anything to do with his own feelings. He felt that he had made it about himself enough.If Dyon knew that there were only 9 of them, that these incomprehensible feelings would stop if he just brought them all to his side, then he wouldn’t feel like this. But looking at it from Dyon’s perspective, it almost felt like as long as the women reached a certain level of beauty, he was likely to fall for her.Such a thought made him feel disgusted with himself. Since he had no idea what this number was, it had already become too many for him.Now it was Saru and Lilith, and maybe one day he would fall to Jade as well. That already made 8. What if there were more after? When would it stop? 10? 20? 30? More? He was only nearing 300 years old with a lifetime millions of times that. Who knew how many he would run into that stirred his heart?No matter how tolerant his wives were, how could they stand such a thing? How could he allow them to do so even if they were willing?Suddenly, Dyon felt two soft touches wrap around him. He almost subconsciously hugged back, only to see that it was both Lilith and Saru who couldn’t hold back any longer. They nearly broke down into a pool of their own tears seeing Dyon in such a state.“Nine. Just nine.” Lilith gripped Dyon and spoke between her sobs.She knew that Dyon hated himself because he thought he was too fickle. But only she and Saru were aware that his wives were women he had met across the course of trillions of years. How many women could have been born in that time? How many world toppling beauties? Yet his heart was only touched nine times. In addition, it was only after each of them died and left him… It was they who should feel guilty for being too weak to stay by his side, not Dyon…Dyon froze, suddenly remembering the time after he slaughtered centaurs. What had he said back then?‘Nine times… nine times…’ Dyon couldn’t understand why, but his worry all but vanished, his grip around their waists tightening.