“I don’t know.”, she responded, her eyes downcast.
I faced her with a semi quizzical look.
“Do you know, how spirits don’t have many memories from when they were alive?”, she asked me, as she placed her book on top of the table.
“It’s because they aren’t capable of keeping their memories post death, due to the lack of mana circulating in their spirit bodies?”
“You’re sort of right.”, she responded. “When someone dies, their spirits leave their bodies and return to the gods. That’s what normally happens when ones death is normal.”
“People with deep resentment or grief from back when they were alive, usually stay longer as spirits on earth, in the worst case scenario they become ghosts seeking for revenge or repentance.”
“Whatever their reason for staying is, it’ll stay in their memories until eventually they forget and return like all spirits, however ghosts stay, as for they have already evolved from Spirits.”
She looked at me in the eyes.
“Shortly explained, the reason why spirits stay, is due to their memories keeping them connected to the world.”
She finished explaining.
“So,”, I spoke up. “In your case, you don’t remember the reason or what’s keeping you here, yet you still remain.”
She nodded faintly.
“I’ve already turned into a ghost, so there’s no longer a point of return.”, she said. “I don’t know why I don’t have any memories of when I’ve been alive, all I know is the knowledge that I kept in me, and that I woke up as a ghost.”
“So, regardless of whether we find out who you were, you’d still stay here?”
She nodded again.
“My objective is to find some letter in this mansion, or to get rid of you.”, I said. “However, I have no intentions of getting you killed.”
“Have you tried finding out who you are?”, I asked her. “Yes I’ve tried, but it’s useless.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve explored every nook and cranny of this mansion, all I could find were books and destroyed picture frames.”
“And those didn’t lead you to anything?”
“No, the books were mostly about magic, agriculture, spirits, monsters and information overall. And the picture frames were indecipherable.”
I understood, and nodded.
“Then…”
‘What could we do to come in an agreement?’
I doubted that the Knights would let me off not doing this mission, especially Yami, I can tell he’d drag my ass back here if I were to return empty handed, and he’d ditch me again.
I needed to find a solution, so that the two of us get what we want.
‘Wait…’
What is it that she wants?
“Then, what is it you want to do?”
Her blood red eyes reflected upon mine, her eyes were wide open in surprise.
“There’s… nothing that I want.”, she responds with a solemn expression. “I’ve once wanted to find out why I was here, but I’ve already looked everywhere, there’s nothing I can do.”
“Then why are you still here?”
“…”
“Because, I don’t want to leave.”
“Huh?”
I was taken off guard by her answer.
“I’ve spent four hundred years in this mansion, I’ve done everything I could, and I can’t even leave this mansion if I wanted to. I spent years just reading… and reading, fending off people from this mansion and continue my days with endless boredom…”
“Then why—“
“Because, something is telling me not to leave.”, she said, her eyes were painted with a lonesome look on them.
She had no memories, she owned nothing anymore. The only things remaining were the feelings that kept her here, that made her move forward.
“I cannot leave yet, not until I’ve found out why, I’m here, because something is telling me that I can't leave this place... not just yet.”
“I see…”
‘In that case’
“If you were to find out the reason why, would you be willing to leave the mansion?”
“…”, she looked down from her chair. “Maybe if I were to find out, I’d be willing to leave.”
‘I see.’
“Then, what about I help you?”
Upon my question, she raised her head, and looked me in the eyes confused.
“Why would you help me?”, she asked.
I thought for a hard moment and responded. “My main objective is to liberate the mansion, or the actual objective would be finding the letter I was tasked to.”
“Since I can’t stop coming here until it is finished, I decided I’d help you, by helping me at the same time.”
She nodded in agreement. “I see, so while you’re searching this place, you’ll be helping me as well. And if you don’t find the letter, I’ll leave the mansion under the pretext that you eliminated me.”
“Yes exactly.”
The two of us look at each other in the eyes.
“But you can’t help me, there’s nothing to be found in this mansion about me.”, she lowered her head again in disappointment.
“Then I’ll search outside the mansion.”, I answered. “You told me, that you couldn’t leave the mansion, then that means the only place you haven’t searched was outside?”
She became silent.
“You said you knew this place, so you might know where the letter may be. You could bring me over there, and help me find it.”, I proposed a plan to her. “In exchange, I’ll try to find out who you are, outside the mansion.”
I extended my hand in order to seal the deal.
“…”
She looked me in the eyes, and slipped a little laugh.
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“I doubt you’ll find anything inside this mansion, but fine.”
We both shook hands sealing the agreement.
“So, why is it exactly that you can’t leave this mansion?”
We were walking down the hallway, she was currently leading me towards a room that might have what I was searching for.
“I can leave the ‘Mansion’, but I can’t go any further than the garden fence.”, she responded, her petite feet stepping on the carpet making small tip tap sounds.
“There’s a barrier surrounding the mansion, not letting me leave.”, she explained. “And even if I could have left, I’d still remain here.”
“If there is a barrier, then why could I enter?”, I asked.
When I entered the mansion, I didn’t feel anything. I couldn’t even sense the mana.
And if there was a barrier keeping her in, then wouldn’t it keep off me too?
“This barrier is only targeted towards me, I can’t leave. You can.”, she responded to my question.
“I see.”, I gave a vague answer.
Considering the circumstances, I believe that she may not even know why it is here. If all she knows is that she was here.
“So even if we were to find out why you’re here, we’d still have to take care of that.”, I sighed, I felt as if my workload increased.
Outside the window, the moonlight shone through the transparent curtains.
The sky was painted in dark blue, covered by endless white shiny dots that represented the stars.
“Here we are.”, she announced.
We arrived at one of the many doors lined up to each other, this one however was more like a double door.
“In here we have a library full of books, documents, guides and anything at all as long as it is information.”, she explained and opened the door.
Inside the room were bookcases lined up in a neat order on the walls. There were some mountains of books stacked up on each other.
The room was illuminated by a chandelier on the ceiling where a spiral staircase would lead towards an upper part of the library.
Further inside the room you could discover a desk with papers neatly stacked as if they had been untouched for centuries.
The windows were covered by thick curtains, unbecoming of the ones made from transparent silk outside the library.
“You’ve spent here four hundred years, reading?”
“Yes, there are a total of about three thousand books in here and I’ve read through them and I’m still not finished.”
Gulp
I gulped down whatever had been forming in my mouth, her words made me shiver, the thought of the sheer boredom haunting em for four hundred years.
“So, the reason you’re still reading is because you’re hoping that some of them may have information related to you?”
She nodded slightly embarrassed by my on mark remark. “I’ve tried searching for obvious clues, but that led to nothing so I decided to read through them.”
“I see.”, I responded with nothing else, or this conversation could possibly take a u-turn.
I stepped inside and she along with me, she reached out for one of the bookcases and placed the book she had been reading, but seemed to be struggling with a certain ‘problem’
The book case was about four times her size, and the section where she had to place it was two above.
She stood on her tippy toes and reached out her hand as far as she could in order to place the book.
“…”
‘No matter what I do, she will be displeased if I help her.’, I quickly calculated that the outcome of this situation only had two ways.
If I helped her, she’d probably get either flustered or annoyed by the fact that I helped her. After all, that’s basic anime knowledge… or so I am presuming.
Then again, what could I do?
There were many ways to help her, I could simply pick up the book and put it where she wants.
I could go get a chair, which I think would humiliate her even further. So that’s a no go.
I could lift her up, spirits can touch each other regardless of whether we have ‘Materialization’ on or not.
But that would be inappropriate…
‘Wait, did I literally just waste a whole sequence of dialogue while I could’ve just helped her?’
“Hyup.”
She did a small jump and got the book inside the case.
‘I guess, that was an option too….’
She looked back on me with a small triumphant smile on her her face as well as a small smug like expression.
‘Maybe I should’ve helped her after all….’, Shiro will remember that.
“So, do you have any clues on where I could find the letter, other then the obvious location known as the desk over there?”, I asked just in case.
“In this mansion there are twenty rooms, four kitchens, one library, and one dining hall as well as a indoor and outdoor bath. At least three out of the twenty rooms may have documents or papers.”
‘I am going to be staying here a while aren’t I?’
“Do you know what documents you’ve already skimmed through?”, I asked.
I really didn’t want to read through too many documents, I read light novels back on earth but I wished not to waste precious time.
“I…”, she opened her mouth.
My body reflexively moved towards her, as she dodged eye contact.
‘Oh no—‘
“Don’t remember.”