A ghostly black sphere was moving and turning around in an endless white space like it wanted to understand it’s surrounding, but it stopped after a while and stood still.
The eerie black ball was none other than the Evil Lord’s soul, who was deep in thought – ‘So this is the after life and it’s full of nothing and boredom. Looks like every religion was wrong, because none of them expected that your after life gift/punishment will be nothing. Not even the great Apostle of Apathy expected this.’
The Lord’s train of thought was disturbed by a quick small blinding yellow flash, which was followed by an appearance of a yellow orb near of him.
The Evil Lord winced and quickly started to check out the yellow sphere – ‘What is this? It looks like some weird miniature sun. It’s radiating a pinkish warm fuzzy aura. Ugh, I already hate this what ever this is.’
Suddenly the yellow orb quickly got very close to the Evil Lord, but stopped right in front of him.
The Lord flinched and backed away a little bit and said with a slight hostility – “What the hell do you want?!”
“Hello! Nice time meet you! I’m the Good God and I’m here to assist you in your after life.” - said the Good God in an overly cheerful manner.
The Evil Lord was a little taken aback, but curtly said – “I See.” - and thought – ‘Ugh, this will be a huge pain in the neck. Getting assigned to a goody two shoes god is the worst possible case that I can imagine.’
The God started explaining – “My job is to find the perfect place for you to reincarnate where you can start your new exciting life. In order to do this I have to ask you few question to understand your preferences.”
The Lord frowned and said – “Why do you need to ask questions? Are you not omniscient?”
The Good God answered with a little embarrassment – “Oooh, that thing is that your soul history archive have been destroyed. You see, we stored your archive at the basement of your castle in the soul world, but when you destroyed your castle, the archive also got destroyed with it. Sooooo, in a way this is also kind of your fault, so I hope you will be considerate and help me with this.” - finished God with a cute pleading look.
The Evil Lord’s frown deepened and said with a hint of annoyance – “Fine. Let’s do it before I change my mind.”
“Ok then the first question: What was your favorite flower as a child?” - asked the Good God happily.
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Few hours later there was black orb emitting murderous angry aura while the yellow sphere was unaffectedly emitting cheerful pink aura.
The Good God asked cheerfully – “Question four thousand ninety six: What color do you prefer your underwear to be and how soft should it be?”
The Evil Lord shouted as response – “Enough of this bullshit! I’m feed up with your stupid little mind games!”
The Good God was taken aback and asked nervously – “What do you mean? Did I hurt you with one of my questions? If yes then I’m really sorry.”
Lord answered angrily – “Every questions you asked me pissed me off to no end. Each worse than the previous one, but the worst of all is you. Your personality and aura just pisses me off the most and I want to kill you the most gruesome way possible. I don’t know what kind of purgatory hell I’m in, but I’m damn sure that you are not a ˝Good God˝.”
The Good God started laughing cheerfully, but soon it turned into a deep sinister laugh, while his body also changed into a sinister pitch black color with a bloody red halo appearing at the top of him and the God said amusingly – “Seems like I was not wrong choosing you.”
The Evil Lord was a little bit frightened, but asked – “Who are you and what do you want?”
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“I’m the Evil God who rules in this realm and I came to give you a deal that you can’t refuse.” - said the Evil God with a smirk.
“What is it?” - asked the Lord shortly.
“I want you to become my lover.” - said the Evil God seriously, but soon after started laughing mockingly, which made the Evil Lord frown, but soon the God continued seriously – “What I really want to offer is for you to become an Evil Minion, but we can also talk about the other offer if you want.” – God finished with a wink at the end.
The Evil Minion candidate glared at the Evil God and asked – “Why would I want to become a lackey for an annoying god like you?”
“Simple, because you have no other choice.” – said the Evil God with a grin and continued – “The only other choice that you have is that I hand you over to a ˝Goody two shoes god˝ like you have called me before and let me tell you that they despise you. They hate you because you broke the balance of your previous word by completely destroying the hero party. This act alone have put you on the first place on their ˝Evil to Purge˝ list, so in a summary this is a do or die deal for you.”
Evil Lord was in a deep though for a few seconds, but then said – “First of all, this sounds like a huge scam, because I only have one choice based on what you are saying. Secondly I will never become your minion and I will never serve anybody ever. Lastly I never called you out loudly a ˝Goody two shoes˝, which means you have been reading my mind this whole time.”
“Instead of a scam, I would rather say that it’s a big opportunity. Evil Minion is a class level in the Evil Hierarchy System, so what I’m really offering is to make you officially an evil being who is part of this system. One huge benefit of this system is that it can make you stronger.
Regarding your second observation: we evil beings are free and individualistic, but we respect each others power. This means for example that I can order you to do something, but you can freely refuse it although I can also kill you in response of that. “ - said the Evil God with a smirk and continued - “To answer your last observation: of course I can read your mind, I’m omnipotent, so there is no use hiding your weird fetishes from me.” - finished laughingly.
Evil Lord asked with a now permanent frown – “How can I get stronger wit this system?”
“Doing evil deeds makes you stronger and it makes it possible for you to gain skills and class levels.” - answered the God curtly.
“Can you be more specific? What do you mean by evil deeds and what kind of skills and class levels can I gain?” - asked the Lord for more clarification.
“hmmm,” - Evil God was deep in thought for a few seconds and cheerfully said- “I don’t want to. It would be too boring for me to explain everything and it’s more fun seeing you figuring it out by yourself.”
The Evil Lord looked angrily at the Evil God and thought - ‘Maybe I should just try to kill you here and right now.’
“Hehehe, how arrogant. I like you even more. You don’t even have the power to hurt an ant here, not to mention me. At least not yet, but if you become a cute little hardworking minion you could be one day.” - finished the Evil God with a wink.
“One thing that I don’t understand is why do you want to help me?” - asked the Lord.
“Seeing you suffer while you try getting stronger will be a good laughing material. Like the saying goes ˝You can’t buy happiness, but you can get it through other people’s suffering.˝ ” - finished God with a bright smile.
“The last thing I wanted to ask is …” - started asking the Evil Lord when he was cut off by the Evil God.
“Ok, I accept you as an evil being. Good luck with your reincarnation. Good bye dear Evil Lord.” - said the Evil God as the Evil Lord’s soul started to get pulled away.
“Wait, I didn’t even accept the offer yet!” - shouted the Lord while being pulled away.
Suddenly a mocking voice popped into the Evil Lord’s mind – ‘Who said that I care about your opinion in the first place. You never had any other choice to begin with.’
A sinister mocking laugh could be heard from the distance as the Evil Lord angrily thought – ‘What an infuriating asshole of a God you are.’ - which caused another outburst of laughter in the distant, which got quieter and quieter as the lord’s soul got pulled into the unknown once again.