Ryu's Pov~
'This dream, again', I thought as I looked around. I knew I was dreaming because the same dream has been coming to me since I was reincarnated every day after day.
'I want to wake up, but at the same time, I want to see it' feeling conflicted, I moved inside my dream looking towards a smaller version of me clinging hard to the leg of a middle-aged man, my father.
"Dad, do not go please," smaller Ryu said
"Ryu you are a good child right, you know, the father has to do important work right" the father answered him while petting him on the head, and then he continued
"I have called a babysitter, the nice big sister from next door. She will be taking care of you for two days, and before you know it. I will be back"
I notice I was crying even in my dream, looking at this scene from my distant memories, because once my father left this day the next time, I saw him he was a dead body. I did not have a mother, my mother and father divorced after my birth.
Because my mother wanted to have more with life than just taking care of a baby. My father meant the world to me and now it was all gone.
The dream surrounding me changed. Now I am on the scene where I burned my father's dead body to send him over to the afterlife. I was crying hard. I was just 13 back then and my younger uncle come rushing toward me and comforted me.
"Do not worry you, do not cry. Your uncle is alive family is there, for you," he said while he cried too and continued
"I miss my big brother too!!"
While looking at this scene, my eyes were filled with anger.'Such a snake' I wanted to shout. My custody falls into the hand of my uncle and he began taking care of me greatly. My father told me to always believe in my uncles. That is why I did so even though him being over-affectionate was weird.
For a year, he and his wife always treated me kindly and Uncle told me to tell everything he did to the child service people who come to check on me every once in a while. I was still keeping up my thought positive and not doubting him as my father taught me.
But after a year, when the care service stopped coming and my uncle got rights to run my father's factory on the condition of handing it over once I was 18 everything changed, they started treating me badly and his wife always told me how they are doing me a favor keeping me there.
My uncle used to beat me for the smallest of mistakes I do. Soon enough I accepted the reality he was scum, and he was just after my inheritance. I still held back and did not say anything. He only gave me bare minimum things like clothing I wear was only bought only once when I had my growth spurt. I was 6'2 feet in height when I was 15 years old. That was the last time, he bought me clothes.
My school was harsh due to other reasons, but that is not part of this dream. The scenes that were part of the dream were around the time when my uncle started trying to prove me mentally challenged. He did so much shit like trying to spread rumors about me smoking.
The scene that was coming was the first time I fought back when I was 15 and just had the worst day at school. as usual, he come back home drunk. I used to hate it. That day he comes toward 15 y/o me and asked.
"What did you study today at school?"
"I studied many stuff today uncle," the 15 y/o me answered
"What did you study at school today!!!", he asked again in a louder voice. Still seeing this scene makes me filled with anger. I don't remember what happened back then, but I always see it in the dream he was asking the same question again and again. He was about to slap me but I in the dream always stop his hand and beat the crap out of him without letting any wound appear on his body. Maybe this was the effect of resonating with Mictian back then.
I so wish I could remember this scene when I was awake. His wife was also the same. She never hurt me, physically but her behavior changed 180 degrees as soon as the Child services lady stopped coming. The scene that was coming in the dream was of the time when I was crying and missing my father.
"Father, why you have to leave….I miss you. No one loves me anymore" as I was crying she come from inside the room and shouted at me
"Why are you crying? It is an irritating brat. Not only do I have to take care of you, now this crying too?"
"Auntie, I was missing my father"
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"So what? hear this now Ryu, no amount of crying will bring him back. And your crying makes it seem like you are begging for sympathy"
I stopped crying. She was the one who taught me since I was 13 to not cry or talk like I am missing my father. After this day, I never cried truly in front of anyone else. The strange thing was both her and uncle acted like they are always aiming for my well-being.
The only nice one in this new family of mine was the sweet younger sister Naho the scene that is coming now was the time she was comforting me after I was sad about the rumors my uncle spread about me in school by telling the school bus driver about me smoking. I was pissed. I asked him and he denied it.
By this time I was 16. Since I had fought back against, him he started to only do mental damage in various, ways but I was unaffected by those. Due to stuff that happened at school and home, I had started to get used to dealing with things like this and soon he more or less gave up on it.
I was living normally, washing my clothes and doing my chores, always ignoring whatever my aunt says because I already accepted she is shitty. And more than her, my uncle betrayed his big brother who supported him always after his death.
I started to watch anime and life was somewhat normal, although I lacked the warmth of a family. Anime and otaku stuff helps me to forget my internal loneliness. But then this happened. I can not even describe my emotions at the scene occurring in my dream. Now my uncle was standing beside my 16 y/o self and shouting.
"You can not live here anymore. Naho is already 15 and I know you are a pervert I can tell from those videos you always watch,"
"What are you saying, uncle!?"
"I don't know anything. Move out. I had bought a single room near your school for you to live in. I will give you pocket money too. I cannot have you around Naho. Who knows what you will think or do"
I still can not suppress my emotion. How could he? Naho was the only one who give me the warmth of family, why blame me like this!!??. I wanted to beat him, cry out loud, but I do not do anything and accepted it. Naho was crying all the while, but uncle told her.
"It is for your good"
"How!? Big brother is nice and kind. You are wrong!!" Naho replied to him and he spoke to 16 y/o me instead.
"What are you teaching my daughter? You fool! " I could not take it back then and just escaped to my room and the next day packed and left for my new residence. It was an old and shabby place with only 2 rooms, one being the combined living room, kitchen, and bedroom and the other being a washroom. It wasn't good, but at least I was away from that shit of uncle and aunt. I missed Naho.
Every once in a while I wish for a happy and nice family to spend life with. Every month end I had to visit my uncle because my auntie wants me to eat together with them. I knew the main reason behind it was that they could tell and show every other relative how much they care for me. I did take my revenge on them in various ways. But that is not part of the dream.
What was showing in my dream now was how in those times I just wished for a happy, loving family. And after only being left in this dream, I always wish for how I want these days in my new life to continue as my wish from my last life was fulfilled.
But that won't happen now. that Holy knight, he took my father away, Ralph, who used to spoil me more than everyone. He seems like an idiot parent and irritating at times, but I loved him, my brave father who fought for me.
"The holy knight will suffer, he will die. I won't leave him no matter his death would be so painful. He would wish he was dead before meeting me again!!!"
"He broke my wish. Due to him, everything changed this time. I can have revenge for my father, unlike last time!!"
"Even if I were to only remember my dream partially once I woke up, this motivation will not go"
"I Will Kill Him!!!"
I shouted as the dream ends
(Author's note- any thoughts about protagonist past write them in comments)