"Just say the fae and be done with it," Sebastian huffed as they walked, the cool autumn breeze doing nothing to improve his mood.
"Shhh!" the alderman said, his eyes comically wide in fear as he stopped to glance around himself again — just in case a fae had come sneaking up on them in the last half a minute. "It’s not wise to mention them so close to the forest. Not when they’re hunting."
"Hunting what?" Sebastian asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion at the alderman's antics.
"Don’t rightly know. Never seen one o’ them meself," the alderman said as he began walking again, much to Sebastian's relief. His cane thumped regularly along against the hard-packed dirt road in counterpoint to their footsteps. "But I’ve heard their hounds baying, I have. Never forget it. Most bone-chilling sound you’ve ever listened to in your life, mark my words."
"Okay, whatever," Sebastian said grumpily. "Just pay me what I’m owed. I’ll find myself a guide and be on my way."
The alderman hummed in the sort of noncommittal way that meant trouble, making Sebastian’s mood drop even further at the sound. The little man's face had scrunched itself up as if he was trying to hold back bad news, which…Yeah — seemed about right with the kind of shit luck Sebastian had already been enjoying today, didn't it?
Sebastian tried not to snarl as the alderman stopped again, rubbing the side of his nose thoughtfully; ready for the whole damn story to spill out already about why he was about to get royally screwed.
His head ached far too much for this nonsense and his ribs were putting up a fight as well. He needed to get his payment so he could get on his way towards the healer and figure out how much that was going to eat up the coin it had nearly cost his life to earn.
"Ah, well — ya’see…there was an unfortunate little incident there that’s made things a might tricky in that regard. There was this bard, right? Got himself into a spot o’ trouble, he did."
"Why do I care about some bard?" Sebastian snapped at the alderman.
"We-elll…You see, he started a fight in the tavern. Now luckily no one was really hurt beyond a few bruises — bodies and egos alike — but erm… Your payment master Relict — That cask of mistwine you’d be after? Turns out it was the sole casualty of the fight. Smashed past all saving. Leaked right down through the floorboards. Big sticky mess now, naught good for anything at all I’m afraid."
"So get me another," Sebastian growled.
"Sorry, but ‘fraid it won’t be that easy, master Relict," the alderman apologized. At least the man had the grace to look abashed. Many of that as tried to get out of paying Sebastian couldn't even manage that much.
"But you see, that was the only one we had in the whole village," the alderman continued, fidgeting with the handle of his cane. "I’ve already asked ‘round. There's not a drop of it to be found anywhere now. Not common stuff, that. Only bring it out to wet a newborn's head, toast a new union, or properly send off the departed, really. And we're a small village so…There's a pretty thick layer of dust on the bottle, understand? O’ course, you did us a job and I pays my debts, master Relict. We’re more than happy to provide you with as much ale as you care to drink in recompense instead — "
"Can’t use ale," Sebastian huffed, feeling like the ground had dropped out from under him at the alderman's news. "It’s fucking…Well, alright — it’s not like ale is completely useless, in the general sense. Could rather use one right now. But I needed the fucking mistwine. For — For alchemy."
He had long ago learned to keep the particulars of Relicts to himself. Even the merest details of all the various magical cantrips and potions and elixirs they used in their daily in their work tended to bring the wrong sort of attention from fearful villagers who too often saw it as unnatural or even downright blasphemy.
Sebastian wasn't sure how it could be unnatural or blasphemy when all the ingredients were by-products of nature itself, but there you go. Certainly wouldn't catch him saying humans went about being all rational about these things.
But alchemy, well —
That was safe enough. Modern, even. Every village aspired to be the sort to attract an apothecary, and even the local woodswif could usually brew up a tincture or two.
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"Well, I’m afraid that’s a fish that has done already slipped the hook, master Relict. But don’t you fret none. We can get you the next best thing," the alderman said, sounding relieved now that the worst of his news had been delivered. He started walking again, his pace almost as lively as his tone now. "We’ll be happy to pay you the gold that was promised, as well as some extra for all your trouble — don’t you worry now. And of course, the bard comes free."
Sebastian stopped in his tracks. He stared at the alderman in confusion, sure he had misheard amongst all the rambling. "The what?"
"Why, the bard of course! You said you'd be wanting a guide to the next town over what has a healer, yes? Who better than the man who cost you the spirits himself, eh?" the alderman said with every evidence of cheerful self-satisfaction. "Neatly done if I do say so meself. You get your gold and your guide, all for a song, eh?"
The alderman looked far too pleased with himself for his little turn of phrase.
It made Sebastian want to scream.
"I don’t want a fucking bard," he snapped. "I don’t need a fucking song about the forest or whatever. Just send me with someone who can actually find their way."
"I am sorry, master Relict — but it’s planting season. You won’t find anyone in these parts that can take the time for such a journey. But the bard is used to wandering these roads. He was through here just last spring...or was it the spring before that? Anyways, mark my words — he’ll get you there, safe and uh...quickly. I’ve no doubt of that at all," the alderman said, carefully not looking Sebastian in the face.
He grimaced. Must look as bad as he felt then — and that was saying something because it felt fucking awful. He had been a Relict too long to not know how to drag himself along, injury or no. But even so, this one had him just about down to his last dregs. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too far to this new healer and they could sort him out quickly.
He sure as hell didn’t want some strange human hanging around him until then. Whether this bard turned out to be a nuisance, a liability or — most unlikely of all — a danger, Sebastian wanted as little to do with him as possible.
Fine.
He would meet with this bard like the alderman wanted, get him to spill the directions to the next town, and then both of them could go on their merry fucking ways.
Simple.
Right?
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