Nervous? Or incensed?
How about scandalized?
Scandalized was too much. Timid with a spattering of righteous indignation was what I settled for. Insert chef’s kiss. I’d update my face, letting it grow as ‘its own separate person’, as the situation developed. That was what it entailed maintaining many faces.
I could theoretically act really angry towards Myra since my face was updated from a meek normal girl to someone taken over by Adumbrae because she nearly fucking murdered me—raging and lashing out could be explained away with the Adumbrae influencing my thoughts—but it was so, sooo, much better to reserve those theatrical outbursts for more…let’s just say, emotionally impactful moments.
I do love drama—especially creating it.
“You’re good back there?” Myra checked my reflection on the rearview mirror.
I turned away. “I-I’m fine.”
“Let’s go then.”
“Okay,” I monotonously replied.
I was in the backseat of Myra’s car, sitting diagonally behind her. She told me to ride shotgun, and that was the polite choice, but I refused, reasoning I didn’t want to be close to her. Plenty of ways to interpret what I said, and I left it up to her imagination. From her facial expression, she assumed I hated her, repulsed by the idea of being close to her.
Which wasn’t true.
Hate. Anger. Hmmm, grudge?
I didn’t…couldn’t…hold those kinds of strong feelings for long. I was super-duper angry at Myra when she attacked me. Duh. What she did literally fucked up my peaceful life. But after that?
Not really, not anymore.
I simply wanted to start implementing Rule #4 now. That’s it.
And maybe have some fun along the way since this was going to be a long project.
It was just an unfortunate coincidence the bother Myra inflicted on me was of such gravity I had to make her suffer a lot as well, as per Rule #4. Weird to say, but this was nothing personal.
As we moved through traffic, going the long way to avoid the shitshow of the protests and riots downtown, I stared at Myra’s metallic blue hair, wondering what was going through her head.
She might also think I didn’t want to sit beside her for my safety. And that was the real reason I chose to sit here—I’d have more time to react if she decided to attack me.
From this position, the fastest attack she could do without alerting me would be shooting spikes from her back, piercing through the driver’s seat, and then stabbing me. Our diagonal orientation was the furthest distance possible in this car compared to if I sat beside or directly behind her. I also had my hand on the car door handle, ready to jump out at a moments notice.
Did she lock this? I gave it a slight tug and confirmed she didn’t.
She might’ve heard me checking the door because she repeated her earlier offer, “Are you sure you don’t want me to drink the Suppressor? I’ll do it if it’ll make you feel safe.”
“There’s no need,” I answered curtly. I didn’t want her to become powerless so she couldn’t pull bullshit like egging me on to hurt her as payment for attacking me. It was also easier to guilt-trip her when she was stronger than me.
“I want to show you can trust me,” she said. “I’ll drink it, then you can check if—"
“I trust you.”
“What?”
“I trust that you won’t hurt me.”
“Err…right. I won’t.”
We didn’t speak to each other the rest of the way, letting the hum of the air conditioning fight back the deafening silence inside the car. Myra concentrated on the road in front of her, not even glancing at the rearview mirror again, or so much as turn her head that she’d see me in her peripheral vision.
Was this to show she wasn’t suspicious of me? That she trusted me since I said I trusted her? I might attack her from behind after all. She must be really sincere then.
The road turned rough as we entered the abandoned development project of the McHunters. We passed by the rundown buildings at its borders. The homeless of the city have taken shelter here, establishing some sort of small community that thrived on the kindness of charities operating food banks nearby. People in rugged clothes peeked out from the windows. The ones out on the streets stopped to stare at our car.
I turned around and looked through the rear windshield. They went back to whatever they were doing, not paying us any more mind.
A couple blocks along and there were no more completed structures. There were also no more signs of people—nothing for them here—just the vast concrete jungle that looked like ruins of our modern civilization a time traveler might come upon a thousand years into the future.
“Um, Myra?” I said. She jolted. Our eyes met on the rearview mirror. “Myra, maybe we can go in one of these buildings instead? How about that one?” I pointed at a boxy four-storey building, shorter but more complete than its neighbors. “Our hideout is still further ahead, and we’re not sure if others are hanging out there.”
“Yeah…sure.”
I became more confident this wasn’t a trap because I picked the location. If she insisted on a different building, I might’ve already summoned my Blanchette mask.
Myra parked the car beside the building I chose, partially hiding it from the street behind a wild growth of shrubbery. Then I followed her inside, climbing through one of the large windows on the wall.
As I expected, it was just an empty floor with the support pillars evenly spaced across, not unlike our hideout. The difference was that the walls and columns already had a smooth cement finish. This was also a way smaller place, with the columns closer together, giving me an advantage in a fight against Myra. The columns could restrict her movements and provide cover against her spikes. And since there were many openings, I had my pick of escape routes.
I considered whether I should speak up first. However, it would be better if I waited for Myra to initiate the conversation.
Come on, I thought as my glare stabbed the back of her head. This place was already perfect. I didn’t want her to go to the basement or something; I definitely wouldn't follow her there. Talk now, you bitch.
“Stay there,” she said, while she continued walking. About twenty feet away, she turned around and faced me. She willed herself to meet my gaze. “Since you didn’t want me to drink the Suppressor, this should be enough distance to make you feel safe.” This desolate place was so quiet, devoid of the usual sounds of the city, that I could clearly hear her normal speaking voice.
“I already said I trusted you.” I wasn’t going to let her get away with scoring good-guy points being all considerate and shit. And even if she said this was for my benefit, she was certainly also wary I’d attack her.
She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, shaking her hands as if to psyche herself up. “I suppose first things first…again…I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” I snapped.
“Er, you know? The whole thing.”
“A proper apology would be appreciated.”
Myra scratched her head. “I’m sorry for attacking you. There. I know that’s not enough—”
“Attacking? More like trying to kill me.”
“Yeah…Um, that. Sorry.”
“And then what?”
“Huh?”
“And then what?” I repeated, stomping my foot on the ground.
Myra gulped, still visibly hesitant to admit her fault, but also wanting to make amends. She nodded like she was agreeing not with me but with her thoughts, and said, almost yelling, “I’m very sorry I tried to kill you and pushed you into becoming an Adumbrae.”
Wow. Her apology caught me off-guard that I almost sarcastically clapped. Instead, I pulled on my clothes and looked at the floor just in case I couldn’t control myself grinning. “Thank you for that…even if it’s belated.”
She stepped forward. “So, you forgive—”
“But it doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
“Ah…I-I wasn’t really expecting to be forgiven.”
“And an apology can’t turn me back into a human.”
Myra didn’t have an answer to that.
Both of us stood in silence for a while. I didn’t move. She didn’t either. Let her emotions fester. A minute, maybe two? How long should I keep this up? I just wanted a sign of the emotional turmoil inside her before pressing on with my psychological attacks.
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“Erind…” she began to say, holding her arm out as if trying to reach me even though we were far apart. Then she closed her mouth, unsure of what to say, letting her hand fall to her side.
Break time’s over. “Maybe you don’t believe you’re the reason I became an Adumbrae.”
“No! I-I mean yes, I believe—"
“You’re hoping I’m not really an Adumbrae. I can see it in your eyes,” I said, pointing an accusatory finger at her. Of course, I couldn’t. I was just pulling shit out of my ass. “How you wish it isn’t true, right? Well, it is!” I suddenly knelt down and punched the floor, cracking it. Dust clouds billowed away from me.
Myra instinctively crossed her arms in front of her, her forearms covered by weaves of bark armor. As she lowered her arms, I saw her mouth gaped in disbelief even though she already knew I wasn’t human, still vainly hoping this was all just a huge lie.
“I’m not going to attack you,” I said icily. “I don’t just randomly try to murder people.”
“No, this isn’t what it looks like.” Her bark armor unraveled, the dark tendrils sinking back into her skin. “I’m not going to fight you. I…I was just surprised.”
“As you can see, I’m not human anymore. Because of you.”
“I’m not denying that, okay? I get it—”
“And unlike you, I didn’t have a choice because my only other option is dying.”
“If I’m truly the cause, then I—"
“Maybe you’re thinking I might be an Adumbrae long before we met?” I said. Her eyes widened, shocked I apparently read her mind. She didn’t want to feel guilty, so it was natural she’d find any excuse to exonerate herself. “You’d like that to be the truth, wouldn’t you?
She mouthed ‘no’ but no sound came out, betraying her actual thoughts.
I continued with more intensity, walking a couple of steps closer to her. “But I’m sure that by now you know with certainty I wasn’t an Adumbrae before you tried to murder me. I had tests before enrolling to Eloyce University, just like you did. I don’t have the Suppressor or anything like that. I bet you even asked Johann to check my records, am I right? And you saw nothing there.”
“Ye-yes…I had him do a background check on you.”
What the fuck, seriously? I was just throwing around random guesses. “You had Johann do that for nothing other than because you couldn’t face the truth.”
“I-I was just trying to make sure,” she stammered, “that what you said was true.”
“Think back at what happened at Sanders’ parking area.” I took a couple more steps forward, emboldened by my control of the situation. Just a bit more grilling and I'd chill; I did like a bit of char on my food. But I also didn’t want Myra to be well done. I didn’t want to emotionally wreck her that she’d leave me here—I’m not going to fucking walk all the back out of here—but there was a point I wanted to drive home. “Remember all the blood you saw, the blood on the door, the blood on the stairs, the walls, the floor. I made up a story that the woman who bit you faked a blood trail to lure you, but it was too much blood…I’m sure you've realized that now.”
Her widening eyes told me she hadn’t even thought about this. Dumb bitch. And here I was giving her brainpower more credit. She probably didn’t even want to think about it because it made her feel more guilty.
“You hit me with a spike,” I said. “No one pulled me away from the door to save me…there was no one else there. I tried to escape from you while holding my bleeding stomach close. Remember the locker full of blood? I hid there, waiting for death.”
“I…I’m sorry,” was all she managed to say, her voice cracking. If I was in her position, I wouldn’t know what else to say either.
“If I had already been an Adumbrae,” I said, “I wouldn’t have bled that much from one spike.”
“In that locker,” she said, her voice almost a whisper. I walked a few more steps closer to better hear her. “Was that where an Adumbrae spoke to you?”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
I removed the pimple patches on my palm and began the summoning. Gold liquid swirled up from the crystal, illuminating our dimly lit surroundings with golden light. Myra had a confused expression, uncertain of what I was showing other than that I had weird powers. Then the gold liquid turned red as it solidified and formed into jaws. I held the Blanchette mask in my hands.
She gasped, recognizing the mask even though she had seen it only once. Knobs erupted all over her skin, slowly growing. But she closed her eyes and calmed herself. The spikes receded.
“Are you going to blame me for accepting the Adumbrae’s offer to save me?” I knew a lot of people would. I considered bringing Kelsey into the argument—given her sister’s situation, Myra would be more understanding—but decided to hold onto that card for a bit.
“No,” she said.
“I don’t know how my power works, just that if I wear this…I change." The mask dissipated in the air. "You already met her.”
“Yeah.” She massaged her neck, perhaps unconsciously.
“I can’t control myself when I transform, like I’m a different person," I said. I wasn't going to tell her the truth about my powers. "I guess I’m technically a different person now anyway with an Adumbrae inside me? Am I even a person? As a law student, I know I don’t have any human rights.”
“I'm sorry I tried to kill you,” Myra said, obviously changing the topic because she couldn’t give me a straight answer. “I can explain what happened that day, at least the things I know. I’m not sure how to tell my story, and why I need your help.” My ears pricked upon hearing that but I didn’t show any more reaction. “But I’ll do my best, starting from the beginning.” She sat on a chunk of a broken pillar. “This is going to be long.”
I plopped myself down on the dusty floor. “Beginning?”
“Our parents died when we—Kelsey and I—were just kids. They were fanatic members of a cult led by someone who later turned out to be an Adumbrae. The BID raided their church. Mom and Dad were either eaten by the Adumbrae or killed by the BID. Either way, good riddance. I couldn’t remember much of them because they were always doing this or that for their cult.
“Our aunt, Mom’s sister, was the one who took care of us during all that time…and also after our parents died. She not only gave us a place to stay, but also supported us as we were regularly tested because of what happened to our parents.”
Okay, wow. Myra wasn’t kidding when she said she’d start from the beginning. This was perhaps too much ‘beginning’. I didn’t care for all of this shit. Fast forward this please.
“I’m not turning this into a sob story,” she said defensively. “I’m just giving you a background of what could’ve possibly caused Kelsey to turn into an Adumbrae. It might be our parents, I don’t know.”
“Didn’t you tell me it was because she was sick? Something terminal?”
“That was…a lie. Sorry”
“Nothing new then,” I snidely remarked.
“If she really had a terminal illness and was miraculously recovering possibly due to an Adumbrae, doctors would report her to the BID. She’d get tested and executed.”
Makes sense, I mused as Myra narrated how she came to know of her sister’s infection. I hadn’t given it much thought because I didn’t give a fuck about Kelsey. Oh, wait a minute! I just came up with something brilliant. “It might be Kelsey,” I interrupted her.
“And that’s how I was sure—what are you talking about?”
“It might be because of Kelsey I became infected.”
“What? That can’t be—"
I stood up to give more oomph to my words. “And then you came along, trying to kill me,” I said, “pushing me over the edge and forcing me to rapidly transform.”
“I-I…no, tha-that. No!”
“It’s the only explanation I can think of why I became an Adumbrae this fast.” I wasn’t sure if this actually was the case. I just wanted to emotionally hit her some more by blaming her sister too. But as the words came out of my mouth, I was beginning to believe that my guess could be true.
Myra shook her head, but it wasn’t to disagree with me. “I can’t say for sure you’re wrong. If it was also because of Kelsey, then I apologize for that too. It's not worth much, I know. Like you said, it’s not going to turn you back into human. But I’ll try to make it up to you. I’m not sure how. But I will!”
Aw, sucks she surrendered this fast. I could’ve had more fun. “Yeah, I’m not turning back…No point fretting over this. Anyway, so, Kelsey is really an Adumbrae? And you joined Dario’s team because of, let me guess, the Suppressor?”
“Yes, the Suppressor momentarily made Kelsey human again…at least physically. I didn’t care back then about the 2Ms, but I’m fighting them because Dario promised me that when a cure was developed someday, the Professor will smuggle one for Kelsey.”
“Makes sense,” I said. Just a typical origin story. Boring. “And I, well, Deen too, both of us were unlucky we met Kelsey that day. Come to think of it, it wasn’t because of just Kelsey, it was because you attacked us afterwards. We had nothing to do with whatever happened to Kelsey. If you just left us alone, we wouldn’t have gotten dragged into this.”
“Repeating 'sorry' over and over might make it lose its meaning, but I really—”
“Why did you do it?”
She kicked a pebble near her foot, focusing on it as it rolled across the floor. “I joined you guys going to Cresthorne to check Kelsey’s locker. She left me a...a note inside. I can’t tell you the exact content, but it made me suspect you guys were involved in her kidnapping.”
Kidnapping? Not suicide? “We’re not, as you might’ve figured out by now. Does this have something to do with you needing my help? You finally figured out Kelsey’s note?”
“Yes. I’m not sure if I correctly understood her message to me, but if I’m right, I’ll need all the help I can get, and I don’t have many options.”
“If you can’t tell me what the note said, fine, but can you at least tell me who we’re up against?” I used ‘we’ intentionally.
Her face brightened at the hint I was on her side despite what she had done to me, but then her face fell again as she told me our enemy. “Dario…Dario and the Professor probably have Kelsey.”