I wasn’t all into books in my previous life. Ok that’s a lie, I was heavily into queer fiction, but I only started getting into it shortly before I well, died. Light novels were the most of what I was able to consume most of the time simply because they weren’t as boring or long winded as American novels were for me. Some authors just loved to flex how good they were at English rather than just writing a good story that’s enjoyable for everyone. I realize now people would’ve totally yelled at me on Twitter if I would’ve said that in my previous life. Oops.
Anyway my point is I never read much in my old life when it came to non-fiction especially. I want, no, need to remedy that here. I was shortly worried that there would be a lack of books in this world due to its somewhat medieval nature, but as soon as dad unlocked the door to the study, and opened the door, I could literally smell how wrong I was. God I missed the smell of a library and even the image of it. Rows and rows of books, all asking to be read.
How did this many books exist? Did someone from another world come here and invent a printing press? Was magic involved in the process? Why did I question this first and not the fact that this house has running water and a somewhat modern toilet in our bathroom? How many people from Earth have been brought here in the past? My head is spinning with questions. This isn’t the time for questions Aria, this is the time to do research so you can find answers.
“I have to tend to the farm, but feel free to use this room as much as you want.”
“Thank you dad! I love you, have a good day!”
“You too Aria.” He began to walk off, but turned around. “And I’m glad to see you’re such a smart kid, already getting into books.” I felt a tug in my heart. Is this what it feels like, to know someone has pride in you that you care about?
Okay Aria, time to read.
***
Goddess dammit I have a headache. Who the hell thought it was a good idea for me to spend my entire day reading? My eyes feel like they’re on fire. I had days where I’d read for hours straight but this, this is another level. I haven’t eaten or anything, I’ve just… been here, reading. Girl, you gotta take better care of yourself.
I place my stack of books I’m currently looking into down onto the floor next to where I was sitting. Three were of my immediate interest: The History of Otherworlders, Sexuality and Gender (seems like some queer people got ahead on teaching this society before it could become cis heteronormative), and The Basics of Magic. Most of what I understood came from the first two books. Lots of modern day technology has been brought to this world, spread out through different societies and accepted at different rates. Humans, weak with magic overall compared to other races, were quick to learn how to employ the scientific method and recreate our technology for themselves with a little bit of guidance from otherworlders like me. Though otherworlder humans were a rarity in that they also often have access to extremely large supplies of mana, likely gifts from the Goddess herself in order to help us do our duties. Silently I thanked the Goddess for letting me be reborn as a human. As much as I love medieval vibes, I don’t know what I’d do without books, toilets, and clean water from a tap. Sexuality and Gender was about what I expected from modern queer people, extensive, comprehensive, and very very reassuring to my trans and les- I rememerbed Troy for a moment. I miss him so much…. Trans and probably bi heart.
I wonder if there’s even a small chance I’ll be able to see him again someday. I hope so. Maybe I could even meet him as who I am now, and maybe I could tell him how I feel. If my feelings for him last that long. Who knows how much of my old life I’ll forget? How much I want to forget? 19 years is almost nothing in the span of a full human life, especially since most of that life was spent wanting it to end, stuck in a body that wasn’t my own. I won’t forget him. I won’t let myself forget him. Nor will I forget the good parts of that life. The promises I made to myself. The things I left unfinished. The parts of that life that are irreplaceable. My old life will one day feel like just a shadow of this one, but that doesn’t just mean I want it gone. All life has meaning, even the shitty parts, right?
You are reading story To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world! at novel35.com
If I renounced everything that came before now I’d just be a little girl with an abnormally large curiosity and ability to learn, and sure a part of me is that, but I’m also that girl who was only just beginning to find herself at the same time. Maybe I’m just thinking about this too much….
Focus on the here and now Aria. Deeper thinking can come later. For now, The Basics of Magic call. I’m still too young for physical training, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn some magic, right? It’s for my mission! Definitely for my mission and not because I just really want to learn FUCKING MAGIC! I think I just let out a squeal. I grab the book and excitedly turn to the table of contents, where a few different categories await.
Fundamentals, definitely where to start, and I’m sure I’ll be needing them a lot.
Basics of Mana Theory, while not likely teaching me much magic by itself I imagine could help me apply into my own thinking about magic and maybe even lead me to creating some of my own, which from what The History of Otherworlders taught me is very common for my folk.
Elementals, I turned quickly to the section to get a better idea of what it was aiming for and as I thought, it was your traditional magic. Creating earthquakes and fire balls, storms, tornadoes, you name it. Badass stuff and useful to learn, but I was more interested in the last category that caught my eye.
Spellswords, turning to this section I quickly found something that was right up my alley. Creating weapons out of mana. Swords, spears, axes, bows, you name it. This could have some deep application, and if mana theory supports some of my ideas, I could do a lot with this.
I bookmarked the spellsword section and turned to the fundamentals. This, this is going to be fun.
Author’s note:
And we’re back! Sorry I took so long to get out another chapter, if all goes right we should have steady releases throughout the summer :)