The God of Madness smiled at us with a colorful feather next to his lips. His body was bent in an exaggerated bow but he turned his head up to look at us with his dark green eyes. He looked young, like a man in his early thirties. His hair was messy and he had a bunch of stubble on his face, but it was somehow charming. He came out of his bow to stand up straight, letting us see his strange clothes and impressive height. With his height, he could look down at us in more ways than one. He was wearing a sheet of white cloth wrapped around his body like a roman toga. He smiled, baring his teeth, which sparkled white even though a few were missing.
“Your beloved…” repeated Noel. “What did you do with the Immortal of Desire?”
The God of Madness narrowed his eyes. “Is that the name you’re using for my beloved? Good. If I heard their real name coming out of your lips, well, I would, you know…” He smiled softly. “Destroy you.”
Chills went up my spine. I involuntarily stepped back. “So you’re the God of Madness,” I said, steeling my resolve as I thought of ways to escape. Everything about meeting this guy was unsettling and I knew I had to get away as quickly as possible.
“Yes, I am,” he said. He faced Noel. “And as for your question, girl, I didn’t do anything to my beloved. I merely gazed upon their magnificence.” The God of Madness balled his empty fist and brought his forehead down to meet it, slowly. His fist trembled. “Why do you run, my dear,” he whispered. “You know I would never hurt you.” He wasn’t talking to us. He opened his arms and the feather floated in the air in front of him.
“What are you doing?” I yelled, without thinking.
The feather shone like a prism in sunlight, sending all sorts of colors through the air. Then it turned into pure light and flew into the God of Madness’ chest, right above his heart. “Nothing,” he said as he patted his chest in content. “Oh, but I am so, so very happy right now!” He put his hands on his waist and laughed in an extravagant, exaggerated way. Deep, booming laughter echoed throughout. “Once again,” he said as he came up to Noel and me. He put a hand on our shoulders. “Thank you for helping me meet my beloved. You distracted that red idiot, won my beloved’s trust, and gave me a path through my beloved’s seal. I, the Immortal of Madness, am in your debt.”
“Immortal of Madness?” I repeated without thinking.
The Immortal frowned. He got up close and pressed his forehead against mine before staring into my eyes. “I see that curse the red idiot placed on you is rearing its ugly head. I gave you the name this elf’s ancestors called me by, and yet the words I hear you say are quite unpleasant. Here, a little gift.”
A hot, searing pain bloomed on my forehead. I wrenched myself away and grabbed my head. Noel rushed over to me but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. Suddenly, the pain disappeared. In its place was a dull ache, like something heavy had been pressing on my skin for a little while.
“What did you do to him?” asked Noel, angrily.
“Nothing,” said the Immortal of Madness. “I improved his translation magic, that’s all. Here, Caspian Holm, listen to what I’m saying.” And then he began speaking a language I didn’t understand.
Wait. Wasn’t my translation magic supposed to translate that? I focused a little harder and…
“…if you focus, you can understand my words,” said the Immortal of Madness with a grin. “See? I really did improve it. Now, you can turn your ability to translate languages on and off again. Of course, this applies to both your ability to understand a language and your ability to speak it. Handy, right?”
I frowned, still holding my head in my hands. “Thank you, I guess.” I would’ve preferred not being in an immense amount of pain, but not accidentally offending a powerful being by saying their true name might come in handy.
“You are welcome,” said the Immortal. He clapped his hands together and looked at Noel. “Of course, I should thank you too, young Noel.” He reached for Noel’s forehead and tapped it. Neither Noel nor I could stop him, even though he appeared to be moving at a normal speed. It was as if we were frozen in time.
Noel cried out the same way I had. I rushed over to her but by the time I held her head in my hands, she recovered. I asked her if she was okay but she looked at my face like I was speaking gibberish.
The Immortal laughed. “You should realize that you cannot understand Caspian anymore, which should prompt you to focus a little harder. By now, you must be able to understand my words as well. Congratulations, both of you can translate languages at will! Isn’t that amazing?”
“Yes,” said Noel with the same tone of resignation and caution that I was using, “thank you, great Immortal.”
“You are welcome,” said the Immortal, stressing each word separately. “I would love to stay and explain everything you did, everything I did, where my beloved went, and all those other burning questions that I can read on your faces, but I must be going. The red idiot is furious at being outplayed and my beloved is running far away, waiting for me to catch up. Oh, the chase is the best part.” He spoke with glee, like a high school girl talking about a crush. It felt strange coming from a seven foot tall man in a toga, but I guess they didn’t call him the God of Madness for nothing.
“Wait,” I said. “Can you tell me how to get back to my world?”
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The Immortal smiled. “Since you didn’t ask me to send you home right away, I think you like it here, don’t you?”
I frowned. “Yes, I like it here. This world is fun and exciting. I have friends here now, I can use magic, and even though I’ve been fighting one insane monster after another, I feel like I’m strong enough to protect myself now.”
The Immortal nodded. “Very well, I’ll tell you how to get home. If you ever get tired of this world, you can just go back! How does that sound? You can even take little Noel with you, if you want. If she wants to join you, that is.” Noel looked at him with surprise.
I hesitated. “That sounds too good to be true.”
“Well,” said the Immortal as he walked away from us. “I never said it would be easy to get back to your world.”
“I see,” I said.
“But the way back is simple,” he said. “You just have to be annihilated.”
I blinked. I looked at Noel but she was just as flabbergasted as I was.
“You mean I can get back to my world if I die?” I asked.
The Immortal snarled. Why was he so angry all of a sudden? “No! Death is death. How stupid do you have to be to think dying here would bring you to another world? No, annihilation, annihilation. You must pursue annihilation!”
“I don’t think I understand,” I said, slowly.
“Maybe it’s the translation magic?” wondered Noel.
“No, it’s not the translation magic’s fault,” said the Immortal as he dragged a hand across his face. “You two are just too stupid, too unenlightened, too, too… I don’t even know how to explain it. You!” he said as he pointed to me. “Are too wound up in your pretentious rationality. The knowledge of your previous world has made you arrogant.” As he spoke, he came closer and closer to me. “Have you even tried to learn anything since you came to this world? You’re in a whole new world where you can do unimaginable things, and you choose to do the imaginable?” He began jabbing his finger into my chest with every word. “The best you can think of is adapting knowledge from your previous world to make a slightly different type of magic. I am ashamed to be a cross-dimensional traveler like you.”
I blinked as I was berated by the Immortal. “Wait,” I said, “a cross-dimensional travel—”
“And you!” said the Immortal as he stepped towards Noel, completely ignoring my presence. “You’ve let this kid, who’s like a hundred years younger than you, lead you around and teach you about the way magic works in your own world? What are you doing? Haven’t you learned anything from your elders, or done any thinking or learning during your entire lifetime?” He knocked on Noel’s forehead. “Start using this thing, why don’t you.”
“I—” began Noel.
The Immortal walked away. “Anyway, I’m done. Thank you for helping me meet my beloved, sorry for sending them flying when they promised to teach you magic, oh, and sorry for taking so long with this conversation.”
“What do you mean?” I said, as my heart skipped a beat.
The Immortal of Madness smiled. “You’ll see.” He snapped his fingers and a bright light flashed in front of us. I closed my eyes. “Goodbye, young elves. I’ll be watching from you know where.”
I opened my eyes to a full moon in the night sky.