THE PURPOSE OF PROBLEMS is to push you toward obedience toGod’s laws, which are exact and cannot be changed.We have the freewill to obey them or disobey them. Obedience will bring harmony,disobedience will bring you more problems.
Likewise, when societies get out of harmony, problems developwithin the society. Collective problems.Their purpose is to push thewhole society toward harmony. Individuals can discover that theycan not only grow and learn through individual problem solving,they can learn and grow through collective problem solving. I oftensay I’ve run out of personal problems, then every once in a while alittle one presents itself somewhere. But I hardly recognize it as aproblem because it seems so insignificant. Actually, I want to do allmy learning and growing now by helping to solve collective problems.
There was a time when I thought it was a nuisance to be confrontedwith a problem. I tried to get rid of it. I tried to get somebodyelse to solve it for me. But that time was long ago. It was a great dayin my life when I discovered the wonderful purpose of problems.Yes,they have a wonderful purpose.
Some people wish for a life of no problems, but I would neverwish such a life for any of you.What I wish for you is the great innerstrength to solve your problems meaningfully and grow. Problemsare learning and growing experiences. A life without problemswould be a barren existence, without the opportunity for spiritualgrowth.
I once met a woman who had virtually no problems. I was on alate-night radio program in New York City. This woman called thestation and wanted me to come to her home. I was intending tospend the night at the bus station, so I said okay. She sent her chauffeurfor me, and I found myself in a millionaire’s home, talking to amiddle-aged woman who seemed like a child. She was so immature,and I wondered at her immaturity, until I realized that the womanhad been shielded from all problems by a group of servants andlawyers. She had never come to grips with life. She had not had problemsto grow on, and therefore had not grown. Problems are blessingsin disguise!
Were I to solve problems for others they would remain stagnant;they would never grow. It would be a great injustice to them. Myapproach is to help with cause rather than effect.When I help others,it is by instilling within them the inspiration to work out problemsby themselves. If you feed a man a meal, you only feed him for a day—but if you teach a man to grow food, you feed him for a lifetime.
It is through solving problems correctly that we grow spiritually.
We are never given a burden unless we have the capacity to overcomeit. If a great problem is set before you, this merely indicatesthat you have the great inner strength to solve a great problem.Thereis never really anything to be discouraged about, because difficultiesare opportunities for inner growth, and the greater the difficulty thegreater the opportunity for growth.
Difficulties with material things often come to remind us thatour concentration should be on spiritual things instead of materialthings. Sometimes difficulties of the body come to show that thebody is just a transient garment, and that the reality is the indestructibleessence which activates the body. But when we can say, “ThankGod for problems which are sent for our spiritual growth,” they areproblems no longer.They then become opportunities.
Let me tell you a story of a woman who had a personal problem.
She lived constantly with pain. It was something in her back. I canstill see her, arranging the pillows behind her back so it wouldn’thurt quite so much. She was quite bitter about this. I talked to herabout the wonderful purpose of problems in our lives, and I tried toinspire her to think about God instead of her problems. I must havebeen successful to some degree, because one night after she had goneto bed she got to thinking about God.
“God regards me, this little grain of dust, as so important that hesends me just the right problems to grow on,” she began thinking.
And she turned to God and said, “Oh, dear God, thank you for thispain through which I may grow closer to thee.” Then the pain wasgone and it has never returned. Perhaps that’s what it means when itsays: ‘In all things be thankful.’ Maybe more often we should pray theprayer of thankfulness for our problems.
Prayer is a concentration of positive thoughts.
Many common problems are caused by wrong attitudes. Peoplesee themselves as the center of the universe and judge everything asit relates to them. Naturally you won’t be happy that way.You canonly be happy when you see things in proper perspective: all humanbeings are of equal importance in God’s sight, and have a job to doin the divine plan.
I’ll give you an example of a woman who had some difficultyfinding out what her job was in the divine plan. She was in her earlyforties, single, and needed to earn a living. She hated her work to theextent that it made her sick, and the first thing she did was to go toa psychiatrist who said he would adjust her to her job. So after someadjustment she went back to work. But she still hated her job. Shegot sick again and then came to me.Well, I asked what her callingwas, and she said, “I’m not called to do anything.”
That was not true.What she really meant was she didn’t knowher calling. So I asked her what she liked to do because if it is yourcalling you will do it as easily and joyously as I walk my pilgrimage.
I found she liked to do three things. She liked to play the piano, butwasn’t good enough to earn her living at that. She liked to swim, butwasn’t good enough to be a swimming instructor, and she liked towork with flowers.
I got her a job in a florist shop so she could earn her living workingwith flowers. She loved it. She said she would do it for nothing.
But we used the other things too. Remember, she needed more thanjust a livelihood. She needed other things.The swimming became herexercise. It fits in with sensible living habits. The piano playingbecame her path of service. She went to a retirement home andplayed the old songs for the people there. She got them to sing, andshe was good at that. Out of those three things such a beautiful lifewas built for that woman. She became a very attractive woman andmarried a year or so later. She stayed right in that life pattern.
I knew another woman who was confined to her room and hadbeen there for quite some time. I went in to see her and I could tellimmediately from the lines in her face and the tenseness of her thatit wasn’t physical at all.And I don’t think I had talked to her for morethan five minutes before she was telling me all about how mean hersister had been to her.The way she told it, I knew she had told thatstory again and again and mulled over in her mind constantly that bitternessagainst her sister. I found myself explaining to her that if shewould forgive, ask forgiveness, and make peace with her sister, thenshe could look for an improvement in her health. “Huh!” she said. “I’drather die. You have no idea how mean she was.” So the situationdrifted for awhile.
But early one morning at dawn this woman wrote a beautiful andinspired letter to her sister, which she showed to me. (There is somethingvery wonderful to be said about dawn. Sunset is good, too.Theonly thing is, at sunset most everybody is awake and they’re hurryingand scurrying around. At dawn most everybody is slowed downor asleep and they are much more harmonious when they’re asleep.
So dawn is often a good time for spiritual things.) I immediately wentinto town and mailed the letter before she could change her mind.
When I got back, she had changed her mind—so it’s a good thing Ihad mailed it! She worried a little, but by return mail came a letterfrom her sister, and her sister was so glad they were to be reconciled.
And, you know, on the same day that letter arrived from her sisterthe woman was up and around and out of bed, and the last I saw ofher she was joyously off for a reconciliation with her sister.
There’s something to that old saying that hate injures the hater,not the hated.
Some people spend much less time picking a life partner thanthey spend picking out a car.They just drift into these relationships.
No one should enter the family pattern unless one is as muchcalled into it as I was called to my pilgrimage. Otherwise, there willbe tragedy. I can remember a woman who couldn’t get along withher husband and I could see they didn’t have anything in common. Ifinally said to her, “Why in the world did you marry that man in thefirst place?” And she said, “All my girlfriends were getting marriedand he was the best I could do at the time.” This happens all the time.
Do you wonder why there are so many divorces? People get into thefamily pattern without being called into it.
Emotional attachment can be a terrible thing.When I was workingwith people who had problems it often was a problem of someemotional attachment that obviously needed to be broken. One wasa sixteen year old girl. By now she is probably happily married tosomebody else. I always say time heals all wounds, but she thoughtthen that her heart was broken because her boyfriend had marriedsomeone else. Although she had a hard time coming through it, aftera time she was able to look upon it philosophically. It does take time.
In fact, sometimes people recover quicker from the death of a lovedone than from a loved one who has left them.
On the Worry Habit.
Live this day! Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only avision, but today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happinessand every tomorrow a vision of hope. Never agonize over thepast or worry over the future. Live this day and live it well.
Worry is a habit. It is something that can be worked on. I call itrelinquishment of the worry habit. There are techniques that help. Italk to some beautiful church people and I discover they still worry.
It’s a total waste of time and energy. If you are a praying person whoprays with faith, you would immediately, and automatically, takewhat you’re worried about to God in prayer and leave it in God’shands—the best possible hands. This is one technique which isexcellent. In the beginning you may have to take it back to Godquite a number of times before you develop the habit (which I havedeveloped) of always doing everything you can in a situation, andthen leaving the rest safely in God’s hands.
How often are you worrying about the present moment? Thepresent is usually all right. If you’re worrying, you’re either agonizingover the past which you should have forgotten long ago, or elseyou’re apprehensive over the future which hasn’t even come yet.Wetend to skim right over the present moment which is the only momentGod gives any of us to live. If you don’t live the present moment, younever get around to living at all. And if you do live the presentmoment, you tend not to worry. For me, every moment is a new andwonderful opportunity to be of service.
On the Anger Habit.
I’ll mention here a couple of other habits. One of them is theanger habit. Tremendous energy comes with anger. It’s sometimescalled the anger energy. Do not suppress it: that would hurt youinside. Do not express it: this would not only hurt you inside, itwould cause ripples in your surroundings.What you do is transformit.You somehow use that tremendous energy constructively on a taskthat needs to be done, or in a beneficial form of exercise.
The best way to talk to you about this is to tell you what somepeople actually did. For instance, one woman washed all the windowsin the house, another woman vacuumed the house whether itneeded it or not, and another baked bread—nice, whole grain bread.
And another one sat down and played the piano: wild marches atfirst, then she’d cool down and play gentle things like hymns and lullabies,and then I knew she was all right.
There was a man who got out his manual lawnmower. Remember,the manual lawnmower has no motor.You may never haveseen one! And he mowed his big lawn. I was staying next door tohim.Then one day he came over and borrowed his neighbor’s powerlawnmower. I spoke to him about it and he said, “Oh, without theanger energy I could never mow that big lawn with a manuallawnmower.” You see, it’s really tremendous energy.
Then there was this man who saved his marriage. He had such abad temper that his young wife was about to leave him and take theirtwo small children along. And he said, “I’m going to do somethingabout this!” And he did.Whenever he felt a temper tantrum comingon, instead of throwing things all over the house which had been hisprevious custom, he got out there and jogged. Round and round theblock, until he was all out of breath and the energy was all gone—and he saved his marriage. It worked. I saw him again years later, andI asked him, “Well, are you still jogging?” “Oh, a little bit for exercise,”
he said, “but I haven’t had a temper tantrum for years.” As youuse the energy constructively you lose the anger habit.
These techniques have also worked with children. I recall oneten year old boy. I was trying to help his mother because she washaving an awful time with him. He got temper tantrums and onetime, when he was not having a tantrum, I asked him, “Of all thethings you do what takes the most energy?” And he said, “I guess runningup the hill in the back of the house.” And so we found a wonderfulsolution. Every time his mother saw the sign of a tempertantrum she would push him out the door and say, “Go run up thehill.” It worked so well that when a teacher told me she was having asimilar problem with a boy about the same age I suggested she tellhim to run around the schoolhouse, and that worked too.
Now I’ll tell you about another couple.They got mad at the sametime, and they decided to walk around the block. One walked oneway and one walked the other way, but they met at frequent intervals.
And when they could meet amicably they walked home togetherand discussed what had caused their angers and what could be doneto remedy it in the future. This was a very wise thing to do. Youshould never try to talk to someone who is angry, because thatperson is not rational at that time.
I’ll tell one more story about a young mother. She has threechildren under school age and she said, “When I get mad I feel likerunning, but I can’t. I can’t leave my three small children. And I usuallyend up taking it out on them.” I said to her, “Have you ever triedrunning in place?” And I could just see her running in place. Shewrote to me: “Peace, it works wonderfully well. It not only gets ridof the anger energy, but it amuses the children!”
On the Fear Habit.
Fear is also a habit. Fear can be taught and is taught constantly.
Fear is perpetuated.
Now, I haven’t the slightest fear. God is always with me. But I hada friend who was afraid of a certain ethnic group of people. Her husbandhad been transferred to another place and she found herselfliving among this group of people whom she had always feared. Iworked with her and first got her acquainted with the music of thesepeople, because she was a musician. Then I found a woman of thisparticular group who had two children about the same age as myfriend’s two children, and we went to see her.The two little boys ranoff together, the two little girls ran off together, and then we proceededto get acquainted. Of course, they became fast friends. Iremember the time they attended one another’s churches. It was alovely thing. One Sunday they both went to one church and anotherSunday they both went to the other church. It was very interestingthat when they got to know each other they discovered that theirlikenesses were much greater than their differences. They came tolove each other when they got to know each other.
I knew a lady who was a college English professor. Any timethere was the slightest rumble of thunder in the distance she becamehysterical.When she was a tiny child, whenever there was a thundershowerher mother ran and crawled under the bed and, of course, thekids crawled under with her. She was taught by her mother to fearthundershowers—by example.That’s the way children are taught.
Almost all fear is fear of the unknown. Therefore, what’s theremedy? To become acquainted with the thing you fear.We had to learnall the safety rules before we could become acquainted with thundershowers,but it worked.
I’ll tell you another story about fear. I’ve heard of women whoare afraid of mice. And I’ve personally known women and men whoare afraid of dogs. But this woman was afraid of cats. I’m not talkingabout a wild cat—just common, ordinary household cats. Now therewere cats in her neighborhood.All of her friends had cats. Every timeshe encountered a cat she screamed, she ran, she became hysterical.
She told me she thought every cat she encountered was about tojump at her throat. Now, a psychologist would say, “When she was ababy she was frightened by a cat; she’s forgotten that but it stillremains in her subconscious.” Which might be true. It doesn’tmatter. I said, “If you wish to lose your fear of cats you must becomeacquainted with a cat.” “Oh no!” she replied. I said, “Well, are youafraid of a kitten?” “Not if it’s small enough,” she said. So I borroweda cute, small kitten. They said I could either borrow it or keep it. Ibrought it to her and I said, “Now are you afraid of that?” “Oh, notthat little thing,” she said. “All right,” I said, “now you must becomeacquainted.You must feed it, play with it.” And of course you knowthe end of the story. The kitten grew into a cat, but by then she wasso attached to it she wouldn’t give it up.
Some fears can come from experiences in former lives. In factthe last problem I told about may have had such a source. These aredealt with in the same way.You become acquainted with the thingsyou fear.
There are a few places where you have to use a little differentapproach. I’ll tell you one case where we used the gradual approach.
This woman was afraid to sleep in a small room; she would go into asmall room, but would not sleep there. This fear did come from aprevious life experience. She came for help to where I was working.
We put up a cot in the corner of the library (a very large room) forher. She was even afraid to sleep there alone, so I put up another cotand slept there with her the first night. Then when she had learnedto at least sleep alone in the library, we put a cot in the dining room,the next smaller room. I slept next to her the first night, and thenafter that she gradually learned to sleep by herself.Then we tried thebiggest bedroom that we had, and so on until she came to the pointwhere she was able to sleep in a small bedroom.
You do not necessarily have to use this gradual method.We didbecause there are a few kinds of fear that are easier to deal with usingthe gradual technique. Another one of them is fear of heights, andthis also may come from prior experience. Let me tell you, someyoung, vigorous people have a fear of heights.
What I used to do when people had a fear of heights was to takethem to a height where they felt comfortable and really didn’t wantto go any higher.Then I would stay with them for awhile. I would leaveSolving Life’s Problems / 67them there with something to read, something to occupy them whilethey stayed at that height for awhile.The next day we would go immediatelyto that height and then a little bit higher. Finally they reachedthe top, accustomed to the height, and no longer had any fear of it.
I have been asked if a certain amount of fear is healthy. I don’tthink any amount of fear is healthy. Unless you’re talking about thefact that if you have fear about a street, you’ll look up and downbefore crossing the street. But you see, I believe we are required todo everything possible for ourselves and therefore when I walk outonto a street I always look up and down. But I don’t think that’s fear.
That’s just being sensible. I don’t connect that in any way with fear.
For instance, I know that if there are little pebbles scattered over asmooth rock, I’m liable to slip if I step on those little pebbles, so I’mcareful not to. I’m not afraid, it’s just the sensible thing to do.
On Divine Protection.
Recently, while I was leading a group of people on an educationaland inspirational tour of four of the Hawaiian Islands, a policemanwarned us not to sleep on the beach. It seems there had been amurder on that beach. I was very concerned about all the fear beingperpetuated on those beautiful islands. I had no fear. One member ofthe group tried to tell me about the dangers of the beach. I said toher, “All of us are under the protection of my guardian angel.” Andwe didn’t have the slightest incident on any beach.
We were on the beach one night where I think we were the onlyAnglos. The others were so nice. Several people came up and onesaid, “A few years back I saw you on television.” It must have beenfive years before, on my first visit to the islands.They even asked forautographs! So I think we should not be apprehensive. I don’t thinkthat apprehension can do anything except attract. “That which I fearedcame upon me.” I felt perfectly safe on the beach and I felt my wholecrowd was protected, and they were.
I have a sense of definite protection.Twice I have felt the need toget out of cars I was riding in, and once I saw why. Now, I didn’t getout of the car when I was coming down over the “grapevine” into LosAngeles with two high school students. They were seeing how fastthey could get the old Chevy to go down hill. I was in the back seatand I felt perfectly all right.
But one time I was with a man who was drinking whisky, and Ioffered to drive for him. I showed him my driver’s license, but hewouldn’t let me drive, so I asked him to let me off at the junction.
Then I was picked up in a little truck, and we hadn’t gone even fivemiles before we saw the other car. It had gone down into an arroyoand sideswiped a cottonwood tree. On the side where I had been theglass was broken and the roof was bashed in. So at once I saw why Ifelt the need to get out. The driver wasn’t badly hurt. He was cutsome but not really hurt.
Another time I did not see any result, but I felt the need to getout.This man was driving recklessly. He would cross over the doublecenter line and pass cars when he couldn’t see at all. So I got out. Ithen got in with a man who was going east at the junction and thereforeI never saw what happened to the other car. I don’t know. I hopenothing.
So a certain amount of being sensible is good, such as looking upand down a street before you cross, but certainly not the kind offoolish fears many human beings have.You see, if you’re going to befearful—let’s say, about sleeping on a beach—you must be terrifiedevery time you sleep in your own home. Look how many people arekilled in their own home. Or when you sleep in a hotel room. Lookhow many people are killed in hotel rooms. This can lead to ridiculousbehavior.
I do have a sense of complete protection. If I had felt in any waylike I felt in those two cars, I would have taken the whole crowd offthe beach. However, I felt absolute protection; I hadn’t the slightestapprehension. I knew we were perfectly safe when we stayed on thebeach.
There are many things we do not fully understand.We just knowthey happen. For instance, I have been kept from some things thatcould have hurt me. I was walking down a lane which I knew to be asmall lane.The trees met overhead. I could not really see where I wasgoing, but I knew this lane through prior experience, and I could seelight at the end of the tunnel. Now I was walking very fast whensomething, that I can only call a force, stopped me. I mean it waspowerful enough to stop me. Then I started ahead very gingerly tosee what in the world had happened— and there was a barbed wirestretched across the lane.They were repairing the cattle guard at theend of the lane, which I did not know, and had stretched this wireacross to keep the cattle from straying. I would have run into the wireif I had not been stopped.We have much more protection than werealize.
The most significant thing of this kind happened when I wasdriving a car. I’ve given up my driver’s license now, but all throughmy driving days I was a good, stable driver, and the car was alwaysunder my control. This time I was driving somebody else’s car overa road that was not finished yet. Coming down an incline, there wasa traffic light at the end of the road where you had to turn either oneway or the other. Cars were turning both ways, and turning up on tothe road past me. I naturally put my foot on the brake when I saw thelight was red, but I had no brakes! I grabbed for the emergency. I hadno emergency. I thought if I could put the car into reverse it wouldstop, although this would tear it to pieces. I attempted to get it intoreverse but it wouldn’t go. Ahead of me I saw a station wagon withtwo little children looking out of the back window. I had to stop thecar! I couldn’t turn to the left—there was a rock wall there—andcars were coming up thick and fast.There was a rock wall to the rightwith a ditch, and my little finite mind said, “Take to the ditch, sideswipethe rock wall. It’ll stop the car. It’ll tear it up, but it will stopit.” I was not able to do that. This was the only time in my life when acar was taken out of my control. The car turned to the left, wentbetween two cars, and went up a little dirt road on an incline, whichof course stopped the car. I didn’t know the dirt road was there. Icouldn’t possibly see it.
So you see, I’ve had such amazing things happen to me.You canunderstand why I feel full of absolute protection. That protectionextends even to any group that I am with.
A Helpful Meditation.
I’d like to share this little meditation with you. First, could weagree that God’s protection surrounds us? Know that you are God’sbeautiful child, always in God’s hands. Accept God ...accept God’sprotection ...there is really no problem to fear. Know that you arenot the clay garment. Know that you are not the self-centered naturewhich governs your life needlessly. Know that you are the God-centerednature. The Kingdom of God within. The Indwelling Christ.
Eternal and indestructible. Identify with the real you.
Peace...be still...and know...that I am God.
Peace...be still...and know...that I am.
Peace...be still...and Know.
Peace...be still.
Peace...be.
Peace...
Peace...
Peace.
And now, with the knowledge that we are God’s perfect children,eternal and indestructible, let us go our separate ways in love, butalways remain together in spirit.
God bless you and peace to you all.