ON MARS THE LITTLE HUMAN ADVANCE GUARD were building halfburiedpressure domes for the larger male & female party that would arriveby next ship. This work went much faster than originally scheduled as theMartians were uncritically helpful. Part of the time saved was spent inpreparing a preliminary estimate on a very long-distance plan to free thebound oxygen in the sands of Mars to make the planet more friendly to futurehuman generations.
The Old Ones neither helped nor hindered these long-distance human plans;time was not yet. Their own meditations were approaching a violent cusp thatwould control the shape of Martian art for many millennia. On Earth electionscontinued as usual and a very advanced poet published a limited edition ofverse consisting entirely of punctuation marks and spaces; Time magazinereviewed it and suggested that the Federation Assembly Daily Record couldprofitably be translated into the same medium. The poet was invited tolecture at the University of Chicago, which he did, clad in full formal eveningdress lacking only trousers and shoes.
A colossal advertising campaign opened to sell more sexual organs of plantsfor human use and Mrs. Joseph (.Shadow of Greatness“) Douglas wasquoted as saying: .I would no more think of sitting down to eat withoutflowers on my table than without serviettes.“ A Tibetan swami from Palermo,Sicily, announced in Beverly Hills a newly discovered, ancient yoga disciplinefor ripple breathing which greatly increased both pranha and the cosmicattraction between the sexes. His chelas were required to assume thematsyendra posture dressed in hand-woven diapers while he read aloud fromthe Rig-Veda and an assistant guru checked through their purses in anotherroom-nothing was ever stolen from the purses; the purpose was lessimmediate.
The President of the United States, by proclamation, named the first Sundayin November as .National Grandmothers’ Day“ and urged the grandchildrenof America to say it with flowers. A funeral parlor chain was indicted for pricecutting.
The Fosterite bishops, after secret conclave, announced theChurch’s second Major Miracle: Supreme Bishop Digby had been translatedbodily to Heaven and spot-promoted to Archangel, ranking with-but-afterArchangel Foster. The glorious news had been held up pending Heavenlyconfirmation of the elevation of a new Supreme Bishop, Huey Short-acompromise candidate accepted by the Boone faction after the lots had beencast repeatedly.
L .Unita and Hoy published identical doctrinaire denunciations of Short’selevation, L .Osservatore Romano and the Christian Science Monitor ignoredit, Times of India snickered at it editorially, and the Manchester Guardianreported it without comment-the Fbsterite congregation in England was smallbut extremely militant.
Digby was not pleased with his promotion. The Man from Mars hadinterrupted him with his work half finished-and that stupid jackass Short wascertain to louse it up. Foster listened to him with angelic patience until Digbyran down, then said, .Listen, junior, you’re an angel now-so forget it. Eternityis no time for recriminations. You too were a stupid jackass until youpoisoned me. Afterwards you did well enough. Now that Short is SupremeBishop he’ll do all right, too; he can’t help it. Same as with the Popes. Someof them were warts until they got promoted. Check with one of them, goahead-there’s no professional jealousy here.“Digby calmed down a little, but made one request.
Foster shook his halo in negation. .You can’t touch him. You shouldn’t havetried to touch him in the first place. Oh, you can submit a requisition for amiracle if you want to make a bloody fool of yourself. But, I’m telling you, it’llbe turned down-you simply don’t understand the System yet. The Martianshave their own setup, different from ours, and as long as they need him, wecan’t touch him. They run theft own show their own way-the Universe hasvariety, something for everybody-a fact you field workers often miss.“.You mean this punk can brush me aside and I’ve got to hold still for it?“.I held still for the same thing, didn’t I? I’m helping you now, am I not? Nowlook, there’s work to be done and lots of it-before you can expect to bepromoted again. The Boss wants performance, not gripes- If you need a Dayoff to get your nerve back, duck over to the Muslim Paradise and take it.
Otherwise, straighten your halo, square your wings, and dig in. The sooneryou start acting like an angel the quicker you’ll start feeling angelic. GetHappy, junior!“Digby heaved a deep ethereal sigh. .Okay, I’m Happy. Where do I start?“Jubal was not disturbed by Digby’s disappearance because he did not hearof it even as soon as it was announced, and, when he did hear, while he hada fleeting suspicion as to who had performed the miracle, he dismissed itfrom his mind; if Mike had had a finger in it, he had gotten away with it-andwhat happened to supreme bishops worried Jubal not at all as long as hedidn’t have to be bothered with it.
More important, his own household had gone through a considerable upset.
In this case Jubal knew what had happened but did not care to inquire. Thatis to say, Jubal guessed what had happened but did not know with whomanddidn’t want to know. A slight case of rape. Was .rape“ the word? Well,.statutory rape.“ No, not that, either; Mike was of legal age and presumed tobe able to defend himself in the clinches. Anyhow, it was high time the boywas salted, no matter how it had happened.
Jubal couldn’t even reconstruct the crime from the way the girls behavedbecause their patterns kept shifting-sometimes ABC vs D, then BCD vs A . . .
or AB vs CD, or AD vs CB, through all possible ways that four women cangang up on each other.
This continued for most of the week following that ill-starred trip to church,during which period Mike stayed in his room in a withdrawal trance so deepthat Jubal would have pronounced him dead had he not seen it before. Jubalwould not have minded it if the service around the place had not gone to hellin a bucket. The girls seemed to spend half their time tiptoeing in~“to see ifMike was all right“ and they were too preoccupied to cook properly, muchless to be decent secretaries. Even rock-steady Anne-Hell, Anne was theworst of the lot! Absent-minded and subject to unexplained tears . . . andJubal would have bet his life that if Anne were to witness the SecondComing, she would simply have memorized date, time, personae, events,and barometric pressure without batting her calm blue eyes.
Then late Thursday afternoon Mike woke himself up and suddenly it wasABCD in the service of Mike, .less than the dust beneath his chariot wheels.“Inasmuch as the girls now found time to give Jubal perfect service too, Jubalcounted his blessings and let it lie - except for a wry and very private thoughtthat, if he had demanded a showdown, Mike could easily quintuple theirsalaries simply by dropping a post card to Douglas-but that the girls wouldjust as readily have supported Mike.
Once domestic tranquility was restored Jubal did not mind that his kingdomwas now ruled by a mayor of the palace. Meals were on time and (if possible)better than ever; when he shouted .Front!“ the girl who appeared was brighteyed,happy, and efficient-such being the case, Jubal did not give a hoot whorated the most side boys. Or girls.
Besides, the change in Mike was as interesting to Jubal as the restoration ofpeace was pleasant. Before that week Mike had been docile in a fashion thatJubal classed as pathological; now he was so self-confident that Jubal wouldhave described it as cocky had it not been that Mike continued to beunfailingly polite and considerate.
But he accepted homage from the girls as if a natural right, he seemed olderthan his calendar age rather than younger, his voice had deepened, hespoke with disciplined forcefulness rather than timidly. Jubal decided thatMike had joined the human race; he could, in his mind, discharge this patientas cured.
Except (Jubal reminded himself) on one point: Mike still did not laugh. Hecould smile at a joke and sometimes did not ask to have them explained tohim. Mike was cheerful, even merry-but he never laughed.
Jubal decided that it was not important. This patient was sane, healthy . . .
and human. Short weeks earlier Jubal would have given odds against thecure taking place. He was honest and humble enough as a physician not toclaim credit; the girls had had more to do with it. Or should he say .girl?“From the first week of his stay Jubal had told Mike almost daily that he waswelcome to stay . . . but that he should stir out and see the world as soon ashe felt able. In view of this Jubal should not have been surprised when Mikeannounced one breakfast that he was leaving. But he was both surprisedand, to his greater surprise, hurt.
He covered it by using his napkin unnecessarily before answering, .So?
When?“.We’re leaving today.“.Um- Plural.’t Jubal looked around the table. .Are Larry and Duke and I goingto have to put up with our own cooking until I can dig up more help?“.We’ve talked that over,“ Mike answered. .Jill is going with me- nobody else. Ido need somebody with me, Jubal; I know quite well that I don’t know, as yet,how people do things out in the world. I still make mistakes; I need a guide,for a time. I think it ought to be Jill, because she wants to go on learningMartian-and the others think so, too. But if you want Jill to stay, then it couldbe someone else. Duke and Larry are each willing to help me, if you can’tspare one of the girls.“.You mean I get a vote?“.What? Jubal, it has to be your decision. We all know that.“(Son, you’re a gent-and you’ve probably just told your first lie- I doubt if Icould hold even Duke if you set your mind against it.) .I guess it ought to beJill. But look, kids- This is still your home. The latch string is out.“.We know that-and we’ll be back. Again we will share water.“.We will, son.“.Yes, Father.“.Huh?“.Jubal, there is no Martian word for .father.’ But lately I have grokked that youare my father. And Jill’s father.“Jubal glanced at Jill. .Mmm, I grok. Take care of yourselves.“.Yes. Come, Jill.“ They were gone before he left the table.