Kuhn walked towards Mirabelle, then stopped at a close distance. Mirabelle, who was watching the scene with a stunned expression, pinched her thigh with all her might to make sure she was not dreaming. She grimaced and gave a cry of pain.
“Ah!”
Kuhn looked at her in surprise.
“Are you all right?”
“Ah, yes! I’m fine.”
Only then did Mirabelle belatedly realize what she had done. She must look like a crazy woman hurting herself out of nowhere. This important moment could have been ruined because of her.
But she couldn’t help it. This didn’t seem real. Kuhn standing in her room… It seemed like a fantasy that would blow away like dust before her. Mirabelle was forced to confirm that it was real. The only problem was that once she had done so, she wanted nothing more than to disappear into the ground in embarrassment.
‘What should I do? Does he think I’m weird? I don’t know where to look.’
But she couldn’t bring herself to speak. She dreamed so much about Kuhn that this didn’t feel real. Mirabelle’s face burned with shame. She awkwardly cleared her throat and pretended to act casually.
“So…how have you been so far?”
It was a simple, courteous question. But it was a different question she wanted to ask.
Did you come because you missed me? Do you finally have the courage to hold my hand?
Already, her head was full of expectations that he would end her wait. If Kuhn answered that way, she would have no regrets dying at this moment.
Finally, Kuhn moved his thin lips.
“I came to the Freegrand Kingdom for business, and Her Majesty sent along some supplies with me. Here is a letter from Her Majesty the Empress.”
Kuhn formally took out a white envelope, and Mirabelle accepted it silently. She felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on her head. Her hopeful expectations were immediately dashed. Reality and her imagination were completely different. This was not a dream, but real. Kuhn only came here under command, and he had no desire to see her for himself. He was only present because Mirabelle wanted to see the man delivering the supplies, and that man happened to be Kuhn. That was all.
Mirabelle stood as frozen as a statue for a moment as she controlled her bitter emotions.
“I see. Oh, I’m late, but congratulations.”
“…?”
“I heard you became a baron. I hadn’t had the chance to congratulate you in person until now.”
“Thank you.”
Mirabelle had already heard that Kuhn became a baron some time ago. Although it was a low position, that fact that he became a nobleman did not change.
So, once upon a time, Mirabelle had high hopes. If the reason Kuhn pushed her away was because of the difference in social status, then he might return.
But quite a while had passed since then. Kuhn had rejected Mirabelle because of a difference in status, but later she realized that it might not be the reason all. He simply had no feelings for her, and refused her confession in a way to not hurt her feelings.
But Mirabelle smiled as if it was alright. She wasn’t a little girl who would toss away her entire heart anymore.
“There’s a guest room for the person who brings the supplies every year. You may stay there until you return to the Ruford Empire. If you’re not comfortable here, you can ask the maid for other accommodations.”
“Not at all. I have to return to the Ruford Empire tomorrow, so I’ll spend one night here.”
“Very well. If you need anything, tell the maid.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Kuhn bowed modestly to Mirabelle like he always did, then walked out of the room. He seemed to glance at the designs on her desk before he turned, but Mirabelle dismissed it as an illusion. He wasn’t interested in her. Mirabelle couldn’t draw out fantasies in this situation.
Kkiiig, deolkeong!
As soon as the door firmly closed shut, Mirabelle lost all her strength and collapsed onto her chair. It was a very short meeting, but she realized so many things in a short period of time. Kuhn really didn’t have any feelings for her, and her wait wasn’t likely to end. The thought of it broke her heart, but…
‘Still…it was good to see his face.’
She knew there was no hope, but she enjoyed seeing his face for the first time after three years. This was how it always ended with Kuhn. That was fine, though. There was no happy ending, and while her love was one-sided, it was good to experience it.
‘…I’m glad.’
It was a real relief that she did not get caught up by her foolish whimsies. She could be around Kuhn for one night. He wasn’t here for anything special, but she could enjoy his company for a while. But even after a long night of pain…that alone couldn’t stop her excitement.
***
That night, Kuhn and Mirabelle had dinner together. It was not polite to have Kuhn eat with the servants now that he was a noble.
She stared across the table to look at him. She never thought she would have a meal with Kuhn in this mansion. They had only eaten together once before, when Mirabelle gave him a healthy meal of chicken. At the time, Kuhn had said:
— Young Lady, it’s not good for you to share a table with a servant.
Later, she understood how uncomfortable she made him, and vowed never to force him to eat with her again. But now this unexpected day has come.
Kuhn probably didn’t like being stared at, so Mirabelle lowered her gaze and ate normally. The dining room was so quiet that the only sounds were the occasional clacking of silverware. It was Kuhn that broke the silence first.
“For some reason I thought there would be a chicken dish, but my prediction was wrong.”
“Ah, tell me if there is something you wish to eat.”
“No. I guess I was just remembering what you served me before.”
Mirabelle realized that Kuhn also recalled that memory. But that was probably just coincidence. That was a difficult time, so he probably just remembered it even more.
“Then I’ll ask the chef to make it tomorrow to save those memories. It’s been a long time since I had a guest, so the chef must be wondering what to make.”
Mirabelle rang the bell on the table with a gentle smile. A maid posted outside came into the dining room.
“Yes, My Lady.”
“Please tell the chef to prepare a healthy meal made from chicken tomorrow.”
“Chicken? You don’t eat chicken.”
At the maid’s words, Kuhn glanced suspiciously at Mirabelle. He seemed to remember that the chicken dish was one of her favorite foods from the past. Mirabelle answered with an indifferent look.
“Not for me, but for the Baron.”
“Ah! I understand, My Lady.”
The maid gave a polite bow, then scurried out the room. Mirabelle and Kuhn were alone again, and the latter made a questioning look.
“You don’t eat chicken anymore?”
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“I don’t. My preferences must have changed when I got older. You don’t have to worry about it. Anyway, I know you would be happy to eat delicious food like before. And…I also apologize for any inconvenience I gave you last time.”
As a child, Mirabelle looked at the world with a pure lens. She didn’t care that Kuhn was a servant. With a later perspective, she realized that she must have made him uncomfortable.
Kuhn replied in a soft voice.
“It’s alright. It’s already in the past.”
Mirabelle responded with only a slight smile. She couldn’t say she didn’t eat chicken because of her memories of that time.
***
After Kuhn and Mirabelle finished eating dinner, they headed to their respective rooms. Unfortunately, the two were headed in the same direction, so they walked side-by-side for a while. Meanwhile, Mirabelle inwardly thanked the universe for this small accident.
The pairs’ footsteps echoed in the hall. She listened to the sound and slowed down a little more. She wished that this path was a little longer.
Tuk, tuk, tuk.
A soft patter echoed against the window, and Mirabelle turned towards the sound. White snow was starting to fall outside, and she unintentionally let out a murmur as she witnessed the scene.
“Oh, it’s snowing.”
Kuhn, who was walking next to her, paused and looked out the window. The snow drifted like glowing petals against the dark night sky.
“Yes, it’s snowing.”
There was a note of melancholy in his tone, and Mirabelle gave a smile. Kuhn was the same as he ever was. He was like that when they went on their picnic together, and showed little interest in the natural landscape. But Mirabelle was greedy to show him more. She believed that scenes from nature made people feel relaxed, and she wanted to crack Kuhn’s shell a bit. Of course, her feelings for him had not changed.
“Winter is really coming. It’s getting colder.”
Mirabelle nodded her head and began to walk forward again. Then, Kuhn shrugged off his coat and dropped it over her slender shoulders.
Seueug—
Mirabelle’s footsteps suddenly halted. His jacket was warm. His body heat soaked deep into her skin as well as her heart…
She looked up at Kuhn, and he spoke in his neutral voice.
“You might catch a cold, so be careful.”
Why? Mirabelle felt like tears would burst from her at any moment. This wasn’t a new feeling, but she rediscovered it all over again—Kuhn was a man who could make any moment special. His act of meaningless kindness made her as happy as if she owned the whole world. She was so joyful at this moment, and at the same time so sad…
Mirabelle managed a weak smile.
“…Thank you.”
A complex expression crossed her face, and Kuhn looked at her strangely. Mirabelle wondered at the meaning, but she missed the opportunity to ask him when he started moving again.
The pair continued their silent stroll, until they finally reached the guest room where Kuhn would stay overnight. There, a vicious-looking man was waiting impatiently for them.
“You’re here now?”
He spotted Kuhn and quickly approached.
“What’s going on?”
“We have to move our schedule forward. There is urgent news from the Ruford Empire.”
The man held out a piece of paper. Kuhn looked at the contents and nodded.
“I see. Tell everyone to pack immediately.”
“…!”
Mirabelle’s eyes rounded at Kuhn’s unexpected decision. She thought he would stay at least one night. He was supposed to sleep in the mansion, and then tomorrow she would see him eat chicken. But her wish was shattered.
“Do you have to leave right away?”
“Yes. I need to return as soon as possible.”
“Ah…”
In the meantime, the vicious-looking man already disappeared to carry out Kuhn’s orders and inform the others to pack. Kuhn opened the door to his room, where his luggage still remained unopened. He didn’t need to pack like everyone else.
Kuhn walked back out of the room with his luggage, and turned to Mirabelle who was standing by the door with a blank expression.
“Let me escort you to your room.”
Mirabelle’s mouth was bursting with so many things to say. She wanted to see him a little more. She wanted to keep him here if she could. But in the end, the word that left her mouth was short.
“…Yes.”
The road that Mirabelle hoped for had ended forever. The distance from the dining room to Kuhn’s room, and then from there to Mirabelle’s room, was everything she could have. It almost made her angry.
When they arrived at Mirabelle’s door, Kuhn gave a polite bow.
“Thank you very much for today. I hope you are healthy as always.”
“Yes. And Kuhn…take care of yourself.”
“Then dream well, Young Lady.”
Mirabelle had yet to decide how to say goodbye to him. She was at a loss at what to do at this sudden separation, and Kuhn had already sharply turned away from her. As she looked at his cold back, she pressed her lips together to hold back the tears that threatened to escape.
‘When can we meet again?’
That was what she wanted to say.
‘You didn’t forget what I said I was waiting for, did you? You didn’t forget my confession?’
She was still in love with Kuhn. She was still waiting for him. There were so many words that she wanted to say, but they all jammed at her mouth that, in the end, she could not say a single one.
She was afraid that she might be a burden to him… And, like before, she was afraid to hold on to him in fear of holding him back. As a woman who loved Kuhn, she didn’t want to bring any more harm upon him. However…she could not suppress the desire to see him.
“…Heug.”
Eventually, a cry broke out from her lips. Only after Kuhn completely disappeared could Mirabelle sit on the cold floor and cry as much as she wished. The feeling of a broken heart was the same as before. Even after all this time, it hurt to the point of death.
“Euheug, this is truly bad.”
She couldn’t even wipe the tears that flowed shamelessly from her eyes. Then, through her blurry vision, she noticed a neat handkerchief in front of her. She looked up and saw someone was holding it. As soon as she identified who it was, she was so surprised that she couldn’t even remember why she was crying.
It was a man with dark blue hair and pale skin. It was Kuhn, the man that had just left her earlier.
She thought he had gone completely, so she could not understand why he was in front of her.
“Please let me ask you something.”
Kuon looked at her with an uncharacteristically complicated expression.
“Are you crying because of me?”
A final tear slipped from Mirabelle’s eyes as they widened in amazement. Wh-what? Mirabelle had no idea how this happened.