Chapter 30

WHEN they got aboard the king went for me, and shook me by the collar, and says:

"Tryin' to give us the slip, was ye, you pup! Tired of our company, hey?"

I says:

"No, your majesty, we warn't -- PLEASE don't, your majesty!"

"Quick, then, and tell us what WAS your idea, or I'll shake the insides out o' you!"

"Honest, I'll tell you everything just as it happened, your majesty. The man that had a-holt of me was very good to me, and kept saying he had a boy about as big as me that died last year, and he was sorry to see a boy in such a dangerous fix; and when they was all took by surprise by finding the gold, and made a rush for the coffin, he lets go of me and whispers, 'Heel it now, or they'll hang ye, sure!' and I lit out. It didn't seem no good for ME to stay -- I couldn't do nothing, and I didn't want to be hung if I could get away. So I never stopped running till I found the canoe; and when I got here I told Jim to hurry, or they'd catch me and hang me yet, and said I was afeard you and the duke wasn't alive now, and I was awful sorry, and so was Jim, and was awful glad when we see you coming; you may ask Jim if I didn't."

Jim said it was so; and the king told him to shut up, and said, "Oh, yes, it's MIGHTY likely!" and shook me up again, and said he reckoned he'd drownd me. But the duke says:

"Leggo the boy, you old idiot! Would YOU a done any different? Did you inquire around for HIM when you got loose? I don't remember it."

So the king let go of me, and begun to cuss that town and everybody in it. But the duke says:

"You better a blame' sight give YOURSELF a good cussing, for you're the one that's entitled to it most. You hain't done a thing from the start that had any sense in it, except coming out so cool and cheeky with that imaginary blue-arrow mark. That WAS bright -- it was right down bully; and it was the thing that saved us. For if it hadn't been for that they'd a jailed us till them Englishmen's baggage come -- and then -- the penitentiary, you bet! But that trick took 'em to the graveyard, and the gold done us a still bigger kindness; for if the excited fools hadn't let go all holts and made that rush to get a look we'd a slept in our cravats to-night -- cravats warranted to WEAR, too -- longer than WE'D need 'em."

They was still a minute -- thinking; then the king says, kind of absent-minded like:

"Mf! And we reckoned the NIGGERS stole it!"

That made me squirm!

"Yes," says the duke, kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic, "WE did."

After about a half a minute the king drawls out:

"Leastways, I did."

The duke says, the same way:

"On the contrary, I did."

The king kind of ruffles up, and says:

"Looky here, Bilgewater, what'r you referrin' to?"

The duke says, pretty brisk:

"When it comes to that, maybe you'll let me ask, what was YOU referring to?"

"Shucks!" says the king, very sarcastic; "but I don't know -- maybe you was asleep, and didn't know what you was about."

The duke bristles up now, and says:

"Oh, let UP on this cussed nonsense; do you take me for a blame' fool? Don't you reckon I know who hid that money in that coffin?"

"YES, sir! I know you DO know, because you done it yourself!"

"It's a lie!" -- and the duke went for him. The king sings out:

"Take y'r hands off! -- leggo my throat! -- I take it all back!"

The duke says:

"Well, you just own up, first, that you DID hide that money there, intending to give me the slip one of these days, and come back and dig it up, and have it all to yourself."

"Wait jest a minute, duke -- answer me this one question, honest and fair; if you didn't put the money there, say it, and I'll b'lieve you, and take back everything I said."

"You old scoundrel, I didn't, and you know I didn't. There, now!"

"Well, then, I b'lieve you. But answer me only jest this one more -- now DON'T git mad; didn't you have it in your mind to hook the money and hide it?"

The duke never said nothing for a little bit; then he says:

"Well, I don't care if I DID, I didn't DO it, anyway. But you not only had it in mind to do it, but you DONE it."

"I wisht I never die if I done it, duke, and that's honest. I won't say I warn't goin' to do it, because I WAS; but you -- I mean somebody -- got in ahead o' me."

"It's a lie! You done it, and you got to SAY you done it, or --"

The king began to gurgle, and then he gasps out:

"'Nough! -- I OWN UP!"

I was very glad to hear him say that; it made me feel much more easier than what I was feeling before. So the duke took his hands off and says:

"If you ever deny it again I'll drown you. It's WELL for you to set there and blubber like a baby -- it's fitten for you, after the way you've acted. I never see such an old ostrich for wanting to gobble everything -- and I a-trusting you all the time, like you was my own father. You ought to been ashamed of yourself to stand by and hear it saddled on to a lot of poor niggers, and you never say a word for 'em. It makes me feel ridiculous to think I was soft enough to BELIEVE that rubbage. Cuss you, I can see now why you was so anxious to make up the deffisit -- you wanted to get what money I'd got out of the Nonesuch and one thing or another, and scoop it ALL!"

The king says, timid, and still a-snuffling:

"Why, duke, it was you that said make up the deffisit; it warn't me."

"Dry up! I don't want to hear no more out of you!" says the duke. "And NOW you see what you GOT by it. They've got all their own money back, and all of OURN but a shekel or two BESIDES. G'long to bed, and don't you deffersit ME no more deffersits, long 's YOU live!"

  "是啊,"公爵说,慢条斯理、一板一眼地,还带一丝挖苦人的口气," (我们)的确那么想。"过了大概半分钟,国王才慢吞吞地说出口:"最起码(我)是这么想。"公爵说话了,神态一模一样。

  "刚好相反,是(我)这么想。"国王有些冒火,说道:"不对劲吧,比尔奇活特,你这是什么意思?"公爵说,口气尖酸刻薄:"既已说到这一步,或许,你该让我问一把,(你)这是何意思呢?""废话!" 国王也很尖酸地说," 不过(我)是不知道。没准你是睡着了,不知道自己在讲些什么呢。"公爵气得头发全竖起来了,说道:"啊,(打住)这些可恶的废话!你把我当个该死的傻瓜了吗?难道你认为(我)知道谁把钱放到那个棺材里了吗?""是啊,先生!我知道你确实知道--因为那是你自己放的!""扯谎!" 公爵奔他冲过去。国王高喊:"放开手!松开我的喉咙!我收回我刚才说的话!"公爵说:" 好吧,首先,你得坦白承认,你的确把那钱藏到了那里,计划有一天甩掉我,回来把钱挖出来,全归你自己。""稍等一分钟,分爵,回答我个问题,要规规矩矩地,要是你没把钱放进那里,你说一声,我肯定相信你,并收回我说过的每句话。""你这个老混蛋,我没有,你知道我没有的。嗨,再来一下!""好啦,我相信你。可是再回答我一个问题--现在千万别发火:你脑子里没有过把钱偷走给藏起来的念头吗?"公爵一声不响地顿了顿,然后他说:"好,就算有过那念头我也不管,但我没有那么(做)。可你不但脑子里存了那念头,并且你还的确那么(做)了。""我要那样做了就不得好死,公爵,这是实话。我不说我没想过那么做,因为我确实(打算)过;可是你--我是说有个人--赶到我前面了。""这是撒谎,你做了,你得说出来你做了,否则.."国王开始格格叫唤,接着他喘着粗气道:"够啦!我(承认)!"我很高兴能听到他说这话,它让我觉得比刚才的感觉轻松了许多。于是,公爵松开他的手,说道:"如果你再抵赖,我就淹死你。你坐到那儿,像个小孩儿似的吧嗒吧嗒掉眼泪,这挺好,你干了那种事,这对你很合适。我还没见过这么个顾头不顾尾的老家伙,竟想把一切全吞下,我还一直相信你,就仿佛你是我的亲生父亲。你应该为自己感到害臊,你袖手旁观,听任人家把这事儿栽到一帮可怜的黑人身上,却从不替他们说上一句好话。想想我头脑简单到竟然相信了那种鬼话,这真让我觉得好笑。你这该死的东西,现在我才想清楚当初你为什么那么着急要把短缺的钱数给补齐,原来你是想把我演皇室奇物以及那一处一处赚到的钱一齐给卷走啊!"国王还在抽鼻子,怯怯地说:"喂,公爵,那是你说的补齐缺的钱数,那可不是我。""住口!我不打你嘴里听到一句话!" 公爵说," (现在)你看到你应得的报应了吧。他们把自己的钱全收回去了,还把我们的钱也给通通拿走了,剩下的只有一两个子儿。爬床上睡去吧,你再缺什么,可不准到(我)头上来补,(你)要永远记住!"因此,国王偷偷摸摸钻入了窝棚,拿出酒瓶喝酒浇愁,不久,公爵也拿出自己的酒瓶喝开了。这么着,不到半个钟头,他们又亲得贼似的,喝得越醉、越亲热,以至于到了后来,互相抱着胳膊打着呼噜,一同睡着了。他们俩都醉得很厉害,不过,我注意到,国王还总记着不再否认他藏那个钱袋的事儿,他还没醉到那份儿上。这令我感到放心又满意。当然啦,他们一开始打呼噜,我们就唠唠叨叨聊了起来,我告诉了吉姆全部经过。