“Kazumi! I need you.” I said with a raised voice as I knocked on her door. I heard a banging and clanging coming from the other side of the wood, as if someone was running into every piece of furniture on the way to the door. There was a rattling noise that went on for a little longer than I’d expected, but I simply folded my hands behind my back patiently as I heard her drop the keys several times. I never realized Kazumi was this patient, but perhaps she was just having an off day. When she finally opened the door, she looked out of breath, and red in the face. I tried to smile as pleasantly as I could, which didn’t seem to help her much.
“I -- How can… How can I help you, Eliza?” She was clearly trying to compose herself, so I wondered if perhaps I’d caught her at a bad time. For all I knew, she might have been sleeping.
“I’m sorry, Kazumi, am I interrupting anything?”
“No, not at all!” She shook her head vigorously. I smiled again and she seemed to relax a little. It was that or she was melting.
“I need some help with my outfit.”
“You need help with your outf-- Of course,” she said with a smile, and moved to follow me as we went back into my chambers. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Well,” I hesitated, “Today is the ‘excursion’ to Innshire. I need to look both intimidating but I don’t want… um...” I paused, trying to find the words. It had been a week since we’d decided to give “ownership” of Innshire to Sabine, and we needed to talk to the baron. Count. Whatever. I hated being intimidating and scary. I wasn’t good at it and it made me feel awful. It made me remember evenings walking home alone and seeing women cross the street. That’s not who I’d ever wanted to be.
“You want to look intimidating for the Count, but likeable to the commoners?”
I nodded with enthusiasm. “Yes! Exactly like that!” I led both of us into the giant dressing room. I’d put out a combination of different things but nothing seemed good enough. I got some of the armor sets from the other room, which all seemed too aggressive, and several dresses, which all seemed too soft. Kazumi snaked back and forth, running her fingers thoughtfully over her neck and collarbones. It was immensely distracting, because I constantly found myself staring at her. If she would only go out of the castle sometimes and meet people, perhaps she would find a boyfriend and it would be easier for me to put her out of my mind. But whenever I suggested it she mentioned that she was very happy where she was right now, and I couldn’t blame her. She seemed really invested in her work and I was never going to try and dissuade her from that. Some people were just married to the job. I was wondering if I could invite her for dinner some time. Maybe she’d make an exception if I made it clear that I wanted to talk about our plans for the future of the Queen’s lands.
She woke me from my daydream -- which, at this point, already include candles and music -- with a raised hand.
“Liz, I have an idea.”
Oh. My. Goodness. I’d never considered shortening Eliza’s name, I’d grown so attached to it. But to hear Kazumi so casually using it almost took my breath away. It was perfect. It didn’t have the negative connotations that the name Eliza had, and it was much more approachable in general.
“What did you just call me?” I said, trying not to sound too excited, keeping my voice level. She spun around. I’d sat down on a bench, one leg crossed over the other, and was trying to keep my face neutral too. I didn’t want to give away that I’d been staring at her.
Something was wrong. She was shaking, and she slowly retreated, then suddenly she bowed low, her voice cracking as she cried out.
“I am so sorry, Your Majesty! I didn’t mean any offense, My Queen!” She was so low her nose almost touched the ground, and I could hear the heavy breathing of someone in the middle of a panic attack trying not to completely lose it.
I immediately threw myself on my knees next to her. The tiles cracked a little, but I genuinely didn’t care.
“Hey. Kazumi. Hey.”
I tried to make my voice sound as gentle as possible and put my hand on her shoulder. The touch almost seemed to hurt her as she tried to make herself as small as possible.
“Kazumi, it’s me. She’s… she’s not here. She can’t hurt you anymore.” I hoped that my guess was correct. Kazumi started sobbing but seemed to relax as she looked up at me. Her face was contorted in pain and I couldn’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around her and holding her close. She cried gently in my arms as I tried to make cooing noises.
“She’s not here, Kazumi. You’re safe.” I relaxed my arms to allow her to pull free if she wanted to but she didn’t seem to feel the need to, breathing deep and holding herself close to me. I wasn’t expecting to feel her arms around me either, but I obviously didn’t mind. She was so small in my embrace. Even on my knees, her head barely reached my chin. I kept softly whispering reassurances to her, my lips pressed to the top of her head. She seemed to be calming down slowly, which I was glad for. I gave her a soft kiss on top of her head, then pulled away. “Are you okay?”
She nodded softly and sniffed. I smiled at her.
“I’m the one who’s supposed to cry,” I joked. She laughed in that way people who are almost done crying do. It was good to see her smile. “I’m so sorry I scared you.”
“N-No. You’re fine, Eliza. Liz. I just… I just thought…” She grew silent.
“I know. Do you want another hug?”
She nodded and shuffled into my arms again. I settled a little more comfortably and her head rested on my collarbone. Her soft breath on my neck was making me feel a very strong desire to never let any harm come to her.
“You’re safe, Kazumi. I’m not going to hurt you.”
A tiny voice piped up from within the hug. “I know.” And then, even smaller, “thank you.”
We sat like that for a little while until Kazumi untangled herself again. “Thank you,” she said again, and smiled. For a second I was scared she was forcing herself to be cheerful, but it seemed to be entirely genuine.
“You’re okay?”
“I’m okay,” she nodded. “I… I’d like to focus on the clothes now, if that’s okay. I just… want to do something productive.”
“Of course, Kazumi.” I smiled and made myself comfortable on the floor next to her. She slithered back and forth, picking up pieces of armor as she moved back and forth, and nabbed a beautiful dress as well, and assembled them all on the floor.
The ensemble was interesting, to say the least. A dark dress, largely reds, dark greys and a subtle silver trim. The armor pieces were silver, and clearly more ceremonial than anything -- though no boob-plate, thank goodness -- but they were very beautifully designed.
“Do you think I can just put on the armor over the dress? Will that even work?”
Kazumi shook her head with a soft laugh. After her breakdown, her voice was a lot lighter and softer. Her laugh was like a sleighbell, a clear sound that hung in the air for seemingly seconds after it had stopped.
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“Queen Eliza had a… spell. Some sort of incantation, that allowed her to armor herself in seconds. In wood and stone, if she had to, but she almost never went anywhere without some sort of protection. I think you should be able to do it.”
“How?” I cocked my head. Sabine had been teaching me some of the basics of magic, but most of what I’d managed to do was shield myself. She’d told me that magic effects often depend on the intent of the user, so I suppose that explained some things. Would ‘I want to be armored and look pretty in this dress’ be enough intent for the power that surged through my body? Only one way to find out, of course.
I got up and started pulling the dress I was already wearing over my head, when I heard a squeak from Kazumi. Right. Probably should have waited before she’d left the room. Except that my head was halfway down the torso of the dress and I couldn’t see where she was. I stammered an apology and fell backwards, and finally wiggled my way out of the dress, covering my chest with my hands. Kazumi was half turned away, staring straight ahead, with a weird expression on her face. She was blushing furiously.
“Sorry,” I managed sheepishly.
“Yr fine”, she mumbled between clenched teeth. I scooted sideways to the dress, which was difficult with only one available hand, and I was grateful, at least, that I’d made myself familiar with Eliza’s brand of underwear. Trying to get the dark dress on with no free hands would have been even more of a challenge. It came with several layers of underthings, about half of which I knew the function of. Half of those I had some idea of how to put on.
The undershirt-bralette-thing-combo I knew how to put on. At least I wasn’t hanging free anymore. The corset, however, was a different beast.
“Kazumiiiii,” I moaned.
“Yeah?” She sounded hesitant. Not so much scared as… anxious? I didn’t want to make her do anything she wasn’t comfortable with, but I’d need help with this… thing.
“Do you know how to do a corset?”
“How to… ‘do’ a corset? I mean I know how t-- Oh my goodness.” She turned around with an incredulous smile, saw me sitting patiently in my underwear and spun around again to face the wall, blushing.
“Don’t worry, Kazumi, I don’t mind. We’re friends,” I said, trying to reassure her.
“Uh-huh,” she said.
“I just need your help with this. I’m so sorry. If you’re uncomf--”
“No I’m fine I got it,” she interrupted in a single breath. She moved towards me in a sort of weird sideways tail-shuffle, keeping me in her peripheral vision, until she was behind me. I looked at her over my shoulder, and she was at least facing me now.
“What are you doing back there?”
“I… I need to be behind you to tighten the corset, Liz. That’s how they work.”
“O-- Oh. Uh. Thank you.”
She mumbled something and began to lace the corset. At some point, I felt something against my lower back, wide, soft and warm, and I realized she’d leveraged her tail against my back to pull the laces tight. I helped her by holding in my breath as she did her thing, and then realized that exhaling was barely an option. Hoo boy. I’d seen people in fiction complain about these things, but to experience wearing one was something else entirely.
“Now the chemise,” she nudged.
“The what?”
“Big shirt.”
“Oh.” I tried to lean over to grab it but realized that bending at the waist was no longer one of my skills. Eventually I managed to grab the thing by the corner and pulled it over my head, Kazumi helping straighten it out. Then came a petticoat, and black trousers.
“Do you think I’m doing okay?” I mumbled to her.
She was quiet for a second. “You’re doing amazingly, Eliza.”
“I meant the past week. I’m not ruining things, am I?”
“On the contrary, Liz. I’m… I’m glad you’re here.”
Finally, the dress itself. It was beautiful, and I had no idea how I would’ve put it on without Kazumi’s help. I couldn’t even stand up on my own, but managed to with some assistance.
“You’ll get used to it,” she chirped.
“Easy for you to say,” I joked, looking at her tail.
She giggled and pointed at the silver chest plate. “Give it a try!”
I focused on the armor and tried to imagine wearing it, protecting me. I was expecting it to hover upwards towards me and then attach itself somehow. I didn’t expect it to fling itself at me faster than I could react and slamming into my chest, almost knocking me over. The only thing keeping me upright was the other half slamming into my back. There was a soft flash of light as the two pieces closed, and suddenly it seemed like the armor was part of the dress. It shifted around comfortably. At least it didn’t restrict my movement any more than the corset had. I looked in the mirror. The effect was wonderful. A nine foot tall woman, with deep purple skin and beautiful curved horns, wearing a black and red dress, with a silver breastplate that seemed designed to go with it. The woman looking back at me exuded ‘warrior queen’. The kind of person I could never have dreamed of being. Even getting to look like her was an intense experience. I was so overwhelmed I nearly cried, and sank to my knees. It was Kazumi’s turn to rush over, worried.
“Are you okay?”
I just nodded with a smile and felt a few tears beginning to well up. “Yeah. It’s just… a bit much, you know?”
“I know,” Kazumi said, and hugged me. She smelled like fresh fruit. I tried to internalize this, the smell, the moment, as best I could. If it was up to me, I’d stay in her arms forever.