I had a racing mind, yet there was nothing to distract me from my restlessness, so I experimented with calligraphy. Once I penned a poem, I set down my brush and wiped my perspiration. “’When I was young, I couldn’t fit in with the world’s customs. Mountains of pork shoulders braised in soy sauce were my companions. I fell for the secular world’s snares, thus gone for thirteen years.’ Uhm, magnificent writing, potent strength, the fruits of my labour show. My calligraphy is not bad.”
“What in the world are you doing?” Boss came in and set down a try of hot tea in addition to a basket of snacks. She noticed my work, but she didn’t comment since it didn’t appear to be a letter or drawing. She poured me a cup of tea, then questioned. “Why are you doing something so boring?”
“Heh, this is nothing. My shifu can write with both hands whilst shoot a bow from each hand simultaneously. I’ve tried and tried, but I can only perform two tasks simultaneously.”
“Four tasks at once?” Shen Yiren placed her cup down, then passed me a cake. “Does Mount Daluo have a lot of reports?”
“No.” I accepted the cake and had a sip of tea. “He was writing the previous generation’s ‘The Garden is Replete with the Hues of Spring’. Whenever he writes it, he gives it 100%. There’s nobody who doesn’t praise it.”
“… Does Mount Daluo do anything productive?”
“We spend the four seasons of every year pretty much like that. Any more cakes, Boss?”
Boss passed me another cake and sighed. “Everyone else is hectically preparing. The Divine Realm adepts have also begun focusing their minds. Why are you the only one who seems to have too much free time on his hands?”
“That’s not true.” With my mouth full, I expanded, “I already ate everyone’s dinner for lunch.”
“If you ask me, you’re nervous.”
“What makes you say so?”
“If not, you’d enjoy the bustling markets or sleeping somewhere, not trying to kill time with something so boring – although you’re pretty lame if you do go to the markets.”
They didn’t call us Yizhen Team for nothing. Nobody knew Feizhen better than Yiren.
“Boss, gimme a hug!”
“Stop.” Boss tapped her shirt, where my bane slumbered. “What exactly is troubling you?”
“I don’t know, either. Just, you know, restless for some reason.”
“Your nerves will bunch up when you’re walking the tightrope between life and death.”
“Hence, calligraphy.”
Boss shoved a full green-bean cake into my mouth. “Nervousness is a product of lacking confidence. The Divine Realm adepts are meditating daily to still their minds. Why don’t you try adjusting your mind, too?”
“Adjusting my mind…” I finally swallowed some of the cake. “How?”
“Nothing special. Just practice a hobby.”
“That would be leeching until I die.”
Boss pinched my cheek nastily. “Want to repeat that?”
“… That would be giving my very best to repay Boss.”
“That’s more like it… You should do something that makes you happy. It doesn’t need to be anything that needs a lot of preparation; anything will suffice.”
Something that makes me happy, huh?
***
“Tang Ye, you there, buddy?!” I yelled from afar as I approached Tang Ye’s carriage.
Tang Ye had been meditating and meditating and then meditating more daily. No matter how much he had to sift through in his head, there had to be an end, and I’d say he should be done, so…
“No.”
“You asleep?”
“Yes.”
“Coming in, then.” I brushed aside the curtain and entered.
“… I said I’m asleep.”
“Thought you weren’t here.”
“…”
I sat cross-legged. “Any enlightening thoughts after all the meditation?”
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“No.”
“What’s the point of it, then?”
“To show I am remorseful. His Majesty will be more prone to forgiveness if I show remorse.”
You sly little runt. You fooled even me.
“Anyway, seeing as you’re fine, come with me.”
“Where to?”
“Take a guess?”
Tang Ye deployed a nod. “Buzz off.”
***
“Eh?” Su Xiao, cuddling a charcoal puppy, blinked at us. “Why are you both back?”
I gave Su Xiao a smile. “They have enough hands on deck, so we came back to patrol.”
I suppose it was a hard story to sell when Tang Ye leaned over to vomit. That was a normal reaction because I used qinggong to travel from Mount Wanyu to Xuiyu.
Su Xiao turned his head to look askance at me – eyes narrowed. “This is Xiuyu, not the capital. Since when did they need you patrolling their city?”
“Oh, and the citizens of Xiuyu don’t pay taxes? The residents don’t need to abide by the law?”
Su Xiao, Su Xiao, your intelligence has regressed.
“Th-they do.”
“Exactly.”
“But we don’t even have a post here or know what to do. How… do we patrol?”
This kid, you never been on patrols before?
“Like always, lounging at a bar, chilling at a teahouse, attending a music performance, watching a stage play and then buying some souvenirs to take back…”
“Stop. Hand over your wage. I’m refunding taxpayers.”
Tang Ye finally finished puking. “Big Bro, that’s overkill.”
“Why are even you defying me?”
“You spent my money.”
This, ladies, is why you don’t go for good-looking men. They’re scrooges. I only spent a little, geez.
“What are you doing here with the puppy?” I questioned.
Su Xiao beamed. “This is an elder’s puppy. Seeing as I have nothing to do, I’ve been volunteering here and there. Nobody at home could take her puppy for a walk, so I volunteered.”
You’re the one who should pay his inflated earnings back to the imperial court! Why are you babysitting a puppy?!
“She only has one puppy, yet she needs a civil servant to take it for a walk?”
“Who said one? She has five. Look at the grey, white and, eh?” Su Xiao jogged back and looked around. “Big Brother Ming!” Su Xiao spun around, lips curled. “I… I lost her puppies.”
The sky had fallen. The earth had split…
Glossary
Ming Feizhen’s poem – He made a play on “Return to Nature” by Tao Yuanming. The original is more like, “I couldn’t fit in with the world’s customs (I thought my home wasn’t the right place for me because of customs and culture). Mountains were my companions (I travelled around the lands). I fell for the secular world’s snares (I fell for the allure of working as a civil servant, but I eventually saw how corrupted and restrictive it is), thus gone for thirteen years (I spent thirteen years in that world).”
Ming Feizhen plays on the phrase for “mountains” to say “mountains of pork shoulders braised in soy sauce”, which is him saying he ate boat-loads of them.
Even though, going by the poem, the author claims to have spent “thirty years” away from home. Wu Renjie believes this is an exaggeration. He asserts it was only thirteen years based on the time Tao Yuanming was in office and when he returned home. I’m sticking with the name “Return to Nature” since it’s what’s more accepted at current, but I’ll argue it should be “return home” because it’s talking about him returning to his home, where they worked in the fields.
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The Garden is Replete with the Hues of Spring – It’s a poem from Ye Shaoweng, Song Dynasty, that uses two lines to show the author’s considerate character as well as his fondness for spring. The praise for the poem comes from the fact that “replete” and “growing over the walls” (from two lines in the poem) depict not just the beauty of spring but also the vitality associated with the season. Another interpretation you can apply it to is if you want to say the good things new life brings cannot be stopped.