"Mrs. Allen," said Catherine the next morning, "will there be any harm in my calling on Miss Tilney today? I shall not be easy till I have explained everything."
"Go, by all means, my dear; only put on a white gown; Miss Tilney always wears white."
Catherine cheerfully complied, and being properly equipped, was more impatient than ever to be at the pump-room, that she might inform herself of General Tilneys lodgings, for though she believed they were in Milsom Street, she was not certain of the house, and Mrs. Allen's wavering convictions only made it more doubtful. To Milsom Street she was directed, and having made herself perfect in the number, hastened away with eager steps and a beating heart to pay her visit, explain her conduct, and be forgiven; tripping lightly through the church-yard, and resolutely turning away her eyes, that she might not be obliged to see her beloved Isabella and her dear family, who, she had reason to believe, were in a shop hard by. She reached the house without any impediment, looked at the number, knocked at the door, and inquired for Miss Tilney. The man believed Miss Tilney to be at home, but was not quite certain. Would she be pleased to send up her name? She gave her card. In a few minutes the servant returned, and with a look which did not quite confirm his words, said he had been mistaken, for that Miss Tilney was walked out. Catherine, with a blush of mortification, left the house. She felt almost persuaded that Miss Tilney was at home, and too much offended to admit her; and as she retired down the street, could not withhold one glance at the drawing-room windows, in expectation of seeing her there, but no one appeared at them. At the bottom of the street, however, she looked back again, and then, not at a window, but issuing from the door, she saw Miss Tilney herself. She was followed by a gentleman, whom Catherine believed to be her father, and they turned up towards Edgar's Buildings. Catherine, in deep mortification, proceeded on her way. She could almost be angry herself at such angry incivility; but she checked the resentful sensation; she remembered her own ignorance. She knew not how such an offence as hers might be classed by the laws of worldly politeness, to what a degree of unforgivingness it might with propriety lead, nor to what rigours of rudeness in return it might justly make her amenable.
Dejected and humbled, she had even some thoughts of not going with the others to the theatre that night; but it must be confessed that they were not of long continuance, for she soon recollected, in the first place, that she was without any excuse for staying at home; and, in the second, that it was a play she wanted very much to see. To the theatre accordingly they all went; no Tilneys appeared to plague or please her; she feared that, amongst the many perfections of the family, a fondness for plays was not to be ranked; but perhaps it was because they were habituated to the finer performances of the London stage, which she knew, on Isabella's authority, rendered everything else of the kind "quite horrid." She was not deceived in her own expectation of pleasure; the comedy so well suspended her care that no one, observing her during the first four acts, would have supposed she had any wretchedness about her. On the beginning of the fifth, however, the sudden view of Mr. Henry Tilney and his father, joining a party in the opposite box, recalled her to anxiety and distress. The stage could no longer excite genuine merriment -- no longer keep her whole attention. Every other look upon an average was directed towards the opposite box; and, for the space of two entire scenes, did she thus watch Henry Tilney, without being once able to catch his eye. No longer could he be suspected of indifference for a play; his notice was never withdrawn from the stage during two whole scenes. At length, however, he did look towards her, and he bowed -- but such a bow! No smile, no continued observance attended it; his eyes were immediately returned to their former direction. Catherine was restlessly miserable; she could almost have run round to the box in which he sat and forced him to hear her explanation. Feelings rather natural than heroic possessed her; instead of considering her own dignity injured by this ready condemnation -- instead of proudly resolving, in conscious innocence, to show her resentment towards him who could harbour a doubt of it, to leave to him all the trouble of seeking an explanation, and to enlighten him on the past only by avoiding his sight, or flirting with somebody else -- she took to herself all the shame of misconduct, or at least of its appearance, and was only eager for an opportunity of explaining its cause.
The play concluded -- the curtain fell -- Henry Tilney was no longer to be seen where he had hitherto sat, but his father remained, and perhaps he might be now coming round to their box. She was right; in a few minutes he appeared, and, making his way through the then thinning rows, spoke with like calm politeness to Mrs. Allen and her friend. Not with such calmness was he answered by the latter: "Oh! Mr. Tilney, I have been quite wild to speak to you, and make my apologies. You must have thought me so rude; but indeed it was not my own fault, was it, Mrs. Allen? Did not they tell me that Mr. Tilney and his sister were gone out in a phaeton together? And then what could I do? But I had ten thousand times rather have been with you; now had not I, Mrs. Allen?"
"My dear, you tumble my gown," was Mrs. Allen's reply.
Her assurance, however, standing sole as it did, was not thrown away; it brought a more cordial, more natural smile into his countenance, and he replied in a tone which retained only a little affected reserve: "We were much obliged to you at any rate for wishing us a pleasant walk after our passing you in Argyle Street: you were so kind as to look back on purpose."
"But indeed I did not wish you a pleasant walk; I never thought of such a thing; but I begged Mr. Thorpe so earnestly to stop; I called out to him as soon as ever I saw you; now, Mrs. Allen, did not -- Oh! You were not there; but indeed I did; and, if Mr. Thorpe would only have stopped, I would have jumped out and run after you."
Is there a Henry in the world who could be insensible to such a declaration? Henry Tilney at least was not. With a yet sweeter smile, he said everything that need be said of his sister's concern, regret, and dependence on Catherine's honour. "Oh! Do not say Miss Tilney was not angry," cried Catherine, "because I know she was; for she would not see me this morning when I called; I saw her walk out of the house the next minute after my leaving it; I was hurt, but I was not affronted. Perhaps you did not know I had been there."
"I was not within at the time; but I heard of it from Eleanor, and she has been wishing ever since to see you, to explain the reason of such incivility; but perhaps I can do it as well. It was nothing more than that my father -- they were just preparing to walk out, and he being hurried for time, and not caring to have it put off -- made a point of her being denied. That was all, I do assure you. She was very much vexed, and meant to make her apology as soon as possible."
Catherine's mind was greatly eased by this information, yet a something of solicitude remained, from which sprang the following question, thoroughly artless in itself, though rather distressing to the gentleman: "But, Mr. Tilney, why were you less generous than your sister? If she felt such confidence in my good intentions, and could suppose it to be only a mistake, why should you be so ready to take offence?"
"Me! I take offence!"
"Nay, I am sure by your look, when you came into the box, you were angry."
"I angry! I could have no right."
"Well, nobody would have thought you had no right who saw your face." He replied by asking her to make room for him, and talking of the play.
He remained with them some time, and was only too agreeable for Catherine to be contented when he went away. Before they parted, however, it was agreed that the projected walk should be taken as soon as possible; and, setting aside the misery of his quitting their box, she was, upon the whole, left one of the happiest creatures in the world.
While talking to each other, she had observed with some surprise that John Thorpe, who was never in the same part of the house for ten minutes together, was engaged in conversation with General Tilney; and she felt something more than surprise when she thought she could perceive herself the object of their attention and discourse. What could they have to say of her? She feared General Tilney did not like her appearance: she found it was implied in his preventing her admittance to his daughter, rather than postpone his own walk a few minutes. "How came Mr. Thorpe to know your father?" was her anxious inquiry, as she pointed them out to her companion. He knew nothing about it; but his father, like every military man, had a very large acquaintance.
When the entertainment was over, Thorpe came to assist them in getting out. Catherine was the immediate object of his gallantry; and, while they waited in the lobby for a chair, he prevented the inquiry which had travelled from her heart almost to the tip of her tongue, by asking, in a consequential manner, whether she had seen him talking with General Tilney: "He is a fine old fellow, upon my soul! Stout, active -- looks as young as his son. I have a great regard for him, I assure you: a gentleman-like, good sort of fellow as ever lived."
"But how came you to know him?"
"Know him! There are few people much about town that I do not know. I have met him forever at the Bedford; and I knew his face again today the moment he came into the billiard-room. One of the best players we have, by the by; and we had a little touch together, though I was almost afraid of him at first: the odds were five to four against me; and, if I had not made one of the cleanest strokes that perhaps ever was made in this world -- I took his ball exactly -- but I could not make you understand it without a table; however, I did beat him. A very fine fellow; as rich as a Jew. I should like to dine with him; I dare say he gives famous dinners. But what do you think we have been talking of? You. Yes, by heavens! And the general thinks you the finest girl in Bath."
"Oh! Nonsense! How can you say so?"
"And what do you think I said?" -- lowering his voice -- "well done, general, said I; I am quite of your mind."
Here Catherine, who was much less gratified by his admiration than by General Tilney's, was not sorry to be called away by Mr. Allen. Thorpe, however, would see her to her chair, and, till she entered it, continued the same kind of delicate flattery, in spite of her entreating him to have done.
That General Tilney, instead of disliking, should admire her, was very delightful; and she joyfully thought that there was not one of the family whom she need now fear to meet. The evening had done more, much more, for her than could have been expected.
“艾伦太太,”第二天早晨,凯瑟琳说道,“我今天可不可以去看看蒂尔尼小姐?不把事情解释清楚,我安不下心来。”
“去吧,好孩子,当然可以去。不过要穿上件白长裙。蒂尔尼小姐总是穿着白衣服。”
凯瑟琳愉快地答应了。装束停当之后、她越发急于赶到矿泉厅。打听一下蒂尔尼将军的住址,因为她虽然相信他们住在米尔萨姆街,但她拿不准是哪幢房子,而劳伦太太忽而咬定是这幢,忽而又咬定是那幢,使她越发糊涂。她打听到了是在米尔萨姆街,弄清门牌号码之后,便一颗心抖籁簌的,急步走去拜访她的朋友,解释一下自己的举动,请求她的原谅。经过教堂大院时,她毅然转移视线,蹑手蹑脚地走了过去,唯恐不由自主地看见亲爱的伊莎贝拉和她家里那些可爱的人,因为她有理由相信。她们就在附近的一家商店里。她没遇到任何阻拦,顺利地来到那幢房前,看了看门牌,抬手敲门,求见蒂尔尼小姐。仆人说他相信蒂尔尼小姐在家,但是并不十分肯定,是不是可以允许他通报一下姓名?凯瑟琳递了名片。几分钟工夫、仆人又回来了,带着言不由衷的神气说,他搞错了,蒂尔尼小姐出门了。凯瑟琳感到很屈辱,红着脸走开了。她几乎可以肯定,蒂尔尼小姐就在家里,只因心里有气不想见她罢了。她沿街往回走时,情不自禁地瞥了一眼客厅的窗口,心想也许能见到她,但是窗口没有人。可是到了街尾,她又回头一看,这时,不是在窗口,而是从门口走出一个人,一看正是蒂尔尼小姐。她后面跟着一个男人,凯瑟琳相信那是她父亲。两人转身朝埃德加大楼那边走去。凯瑟琳深感耻辱,继续往前走着。对方因为气愤便如此无礼地怠慢她,她自己也差一点气愤起来。但是她想起自己头脑简单,便压住了气。她不知道她的这种冒犯可以被世俗的礼法划归哪一类,恰当地说,它不可饶恕到何种程度,以及这理应使她受到何等严厉的无礼报复。她感到颓丧,羞愧,甚至产生了晚上不跟别人去看戏的念头。但是应该承认,她的这些念头没有持续多久,因为她马上意识到:首先,她没有任何借口呆在家里;其次,那是她非常想看的一出戏。因此,他们全都来到了戏院。蒂尔尼兄妹没有露面,省得她为之烦恼或是高兴。她在担心:蒂尔尼一家尽管有许许多多优点,但是喜欢看戏却不在其列,不过这也许因为他们看惯了伦敦舞台上的上等好戏,她听伊莎贝拉说过,任何戏和伦敦的戏一比,真是“一塌糊涂”。然而,她自己想要散散心的期望却没落空,那出喜剧暂时岔开了她的忧虑,你若是在头四幕注意观察她,全然看不出她心里会有什么不顺心的事。但是,第五幕开始时,她猛然发现蒂尔尼先生和他父亲来到对面包厢的朋友中问,不禁又焦灼不安起来。舞台不再能激起真正的欢愉,不再能使她全神贯注。平均算来,她每看一眼舞台,就要看一眼对面的包厢。整整两出戏的工夫,她都如此这般地注视着亨利·蒂尔尼,可是一次也没触到他的目光。她再也不能怀疑他不喜欢看戏了,整整两出戏,他一直在目不转睛地盯着舞台。最后,他终于朝她看了一眼,还点了下头,不过那是怎么点头的啊!没有微笑,没有别的礼节相伴随,他的眼睛当即回到原来的方向。凯瑟琳有些颓然坐立不安了,她真想跑到他那个包厢,逼着他听她作解释。一种自然的而不是女主角应有的情感摆住了她的心头。她不认为他们给她随意加罪会有损她的尊严,也不想死要面子故作无辜,对他的疑神疑鬼表示愤慨,让他自己费尽心机地去寻求解释,不想只是通过避而不见或者向别人卖弄风情的办法,来让他认识过去是怎么回事。相反,她觉得这全是她自己的过错,起码表面上看来如此。因而一心只想找个机会把事情的缘由解释清楚。
戏演完了,幕落下来了。亨利·蒂尔尼已经不在原来的位子上了,不过他父亲还在,说不定他正在向她们的包厢走来呢。她猜对了,不到几分钟工夫,蒂尔尼先生便出现了。他从一排排正在走空的座位中间走过来,泰然有礼地向艾伦太太和她的朋友打招呼。凯瑟琳答话时却不那么泰然。“唔,蒂尔尼先生,我一直急着想找你谈谈,向你表示歉意。你一定觉得我太没礼貌了,可这实在不是我的过错。你说是吧,艾伦太太?他们不是告诉我说蒂尔尼先生和他妹妹乘着四轮敞篷马车出去了吗?那样一来,我还有什么办法?不过,我还是一万个希望和你们一块出去。你说是吧,艾伦太太?”
“好孩子,你弄乱了我的长裙,”艾伦太太答道。
凯瑟琳的表白虽然是孤立无援的,但总算没有白费。蒂尔尼脸上浮现出更加真诚、更加自然的笑容。他带着只是有点假意冷淡的口吻答道“无论如何,我们要感谢你,因为我们在阿盖尔街打你旁边走过时,你还祝愿我们散步愉快呢。谢谢你特意回头望望。
“说真的,我可没祝愿你们散步愉快,我压根儿没有想到。不过我苦苦央求索普先生停车。我一见到你们就冲他吆喊。艾伦太太,难道—一哦!你不在场。可我真是这样做的。假使索普先生停下车,我准会跳下来去追你们。”
天下有哪位亨利听了此话还能无动于衷?至少亨利·蒂尔尼没有无动于衷。他带着更加甜蜜的微笑,详尽叙说了他妹妹如何忧虑,如何遗憾,如何相信凯瑟琳的为人。“哦,请你别说蒂尔尼小姐没有生气,”凯瑟琳嚷道,“因为我知道她生气了。今天早晨我去登门拜访,她见都不肯见我。我刚离开府上,就见她走出屋来。我很伤心,但是并不记恨她。也许不知道我去过府上。”
“我当时不在家。不过我从埃丽诺那儿听说了,她事后一直想见见你,解释一下如此失礼的原因。不过,也许我同样可以解释。那只是因为我父亲----。他们刚好准备出去散步,我父亲因为时间晚了,不愿意再耽搁,便硬说埃丽诺不在家。我向你担保,就是这么回事。埃丽诺很懊恼,准备尽快向你道歉。”
凯瑟琳听到这话,心里慰藉了不少,然而多少还有几分担忧,于是徒然迸出一个十分天真然而叫对方非常作难的问题:“可是,蒂尔尼先生,你为什么不像你妹妹那样宽宏大度?如果她能如此相信我的好意,能认为这只不过是个误会而已,那你为什么动不动就生气?”
“我!我生气?”
“是啊,你走进包厢时,我看你的脸色,就知你准在生气。”
“我生气!我哪有这个权利!”
“唔,凡是看见你脸色的人,谁也不会以为你没有这个权利。”
蒂尔尼没有答话,只是请她给他让个地方,同她谈起了那出戏。他和她们坐了一会。他实在太和蔼可亲了,凯瑟琳真舍不得让他走。不过他们分手前说定,要尽快实现他们的散步计划。蒂尔尼离开她们的包厢时,凯瑟琳除了对此有些伤感以外,总的说来,还是天下最快乐的人儿。
他们交谈的当儿,凯瑟琳惊奇地地发现:约翰·索普从未能在一个地方老老实实地呆上十分钟,现在正和蒂尔尼将军说话。当她觉察自己可能是他们注意和谈论的对象时,她感到的不止是惊讶。他们可能谈论她什么呢?她担心蒂尔尼将军不喜欢她的外表。她觉得,这体现在他宁可不让女儿见她,也不肯把自己的散步推迟几分钟。“索普先生怎么会认识你父亲?”凯瑟琳急切地问道,一面将两人指给她的同伴看。蒂尔尼不知道这是怎么回事,不过他父亲像所有军人一样,交际很广。
戏结束后,索普就来搀她们出场。凯瑟琳是他献殷勤的直接目标。他们在休息室等候轿子时,凯瑟琳有个问题几乎从心底溜到舌尖上,不料被索普拦住了,只听他洋洋得意地问道:她有没有看见他在和蒂尔尼将军谈话。“这个老头真神气!既健壮,又活跃,像他儿子一样年轻。老实说,我很敬仰他。真是个大有绅士派头的好人。”
“你是怎么认识他的?”
“认识他!巴思附近的人,我没有几个不认识的。我常在贝德福咖啡馆遇见他。今天他一走进弹子房,我就又认出了他的面孔。说起来,他是这里最出色的弹子手。我们在一起打了几下,不过我起初几乎有点怕他。我俩的机会是五比四,对我不利。我要不是打出了也许是世界上最干脆利落的一击——我正中他的球——一不过没有台子我说不明白。然而我的确击败了他。真是一表人才,和犹太佬一样有钱。我很想跟他一起吃吃饭,他的饭一定很丰盛。不过你知道我们在谈论什么吗?谈论你,真的谈论你!将军认为你是巴思最漂亮的姑娘。”
“哦、胡说八道!你怎么能这样说?”
“你知道我是是怎么说的吗?”(压低声音)。“‘说得好啊,将军,’我说,‘我和你的看法完全一致’。”
凯瑟琳听到索普的称赞,远远比不上听到蒂尔尼将军的称赞时来得高兴,因而她被艾伦先生唤走时,一点也不感到遗憾。不过索普非要把她送上轿子,上轿前,一直在甜言蜜语地奉承她,虽然对方一再求他别说了。
蒂尔尼将军不但不讨厌她,反倒赞美她,这可叫人太高兴了。凯瑟琳欣喜地感到,他们家里,她不必害怕去见任何人了。这一晚上,她实在没想到会有这么大的收获。