Tan Ningfu was exasperated and duly reported the situation to the purser, who then confronted the passenger concerned. The tall, scrawny young man was firmly asked to refrain from further harassing the cabin staff as it prevented them from carrying out their inflight duties. When the other passengers in the first-class cabin heard what was going on, they made sneering remarks and expressed contempt towards his behavior. One woman even spoke out loudly, “The moral degeneration of the world is getting worse by the day. Trying to flirt with a girl on board a plane even when she’s busy working? Who does he think that he is, Wu Yanzu[1]?”
The tall, scrawny young man felt a little uneasy, and he thought, is wooing a girl even a sin?
But evidently, he wasn’t a person who could tolerate boredom. A short while later, he started introducing himself to Xiao Luo from across the aisle, acting as if they knew each other.
“Hi, brother, it must be destiny that brought us together on this plane. My name is Wang Yanzu, what’s yours?” Then turning to a female passenger, he said, “Hey, miss, why are you looking at me like that? My name really is Wang Yanzu. I’ve had this name since I was born. If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you my ID now.”
When Wang Yanzu mentioned his name, the lady who had scorned him earlier turned her head around and looked incredulous. Wang Yanzu immediately took his identity card out of his wallet and showed it to her. Several passengers stole a fleeting glance and were quite amused when they realized that it was truly his name.
The name somehow created a more genial atmosphere in the first-class cabin, and many of the passengers couldn’t help chuckling and had smirks on their faces.
Wang Yanzu?!
Xiao Luo shook his head and smiled as well, thinking that it was a rather unique name.
“Brother, what’s your name? Let’s be friends,” Wang Yanzu said.
“Xiao Luo.”
Xiao Luo replied with some reservations. He didn’t feel like making conversation and was rather hoping for some peace and quiet during the flight.
“That’s a really nice name, not lacking in eloquence or significance, and it has a very pleasant ring to it. This suit you’re wearing goes perfectly with your build and makes you look elegant. You have great taste in your dressing. One look at you, and I can tell that you’re no ordinary man. You have a good complexion, a pleasant countenance, and you take good care of yourself. I’d say that you’re someone with a very successful career,” Wu Yanzu said, as he gave Xiao Luo a thumbs-up.
“Are you a salesman?”
Wu Yanzu was startled and replied, “Wow! How did you know that?”
“Because you have a nimble tongue, and you’re good at boot-licking. These two qualities tell me that you are most certainly a salesman,” Xiao Luo said, not mincing his words.
The passengers seated around them heard this and sniggered.
But, Wang Yanzu was steadfast and quickly corrected Xiao Luo’s choice of words. “Brother, I believe you are mistaken. What I’m doing is called ‘praising.’ The ability to offer praise is an artform unto itself, and it is also a form of self-cultivation. How could you simply describe that as ‘boot-licking?'”
Xiao Luo rolled his eyes, deciding not to respond and encourage further conversation. Wang Yanzu was a “talkaholic.” Besides, he suspected this was all leading up to a sales pitch for a product he was trying to sell.
And precisely as Xiao Luo had expected, Wang Yanzu went on to say, “Brother, this is my business card. I’m in insurance. Don’t worry. You don’t have to buy a policy from me, let’s just be friends. However, there’s something I must tell you. In your lifetime, there are three kinds of insurance where no matter how much you buy, you will never suffer any losses: First, the endowment insurance—as everyone gets old, it will definitely come in handy one day. Second, medical insurance—everyone gets sick, and if one doesn’t, they probably have died because of accidents, and so they couldn’t buy a medical insurance plan in time. And lastly, the accidental death and dismemberment insurance—so that you don’t lose both your life and your wealth. With this insurance plan, if anything happens, you will be leaving behind your money and love, not your debts.”
“I don’t need them!”
Xiao Luo rejected him bluntly.
Seeing that this prospective client had a high level of resistance, Wang Yanzu changed the subject for now. “Relax, I’m just trying to give you some knowledge about insurance. I’m not forcing you to buy them.” Without waiting for Xiao Luo’s reply, he said, “Brother, can I give you a riddle? ‘A man with long legs, guess the name of a dessert.'”
When it came to riddles, Zhang Dashan was the true grandmaster. And having spent a significant amount of time with Zhang Dashan, Xiao Luo naturally remembered many of them. The riddle that Wang Yanzu had just given him was one that Zhang Dashan had mentioned before.
“Dan gao!” Xiao Luo gave the answer to the riddle instantly, which meant “cake” in Chinese.
In fact, Xiao Luo was hoping that by giving the answer, Wang Yanzu would have nothing more to say.
“Wow, you’re good in this,” Wang Yanzu said, looking pleasantly surprised.
“Why is it ‘Dan gao?'” The girl seated next to him was listening in and asked out of curiosity.
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Wang Yanzu smiled cheekily and explained, “When a man has long legs, his eggs will be higher up, that’s what ‘Dan gao[2],’ means, hahaha.”
The crude explanation instantly made the girl blush. And as the first-class cabin was fairly compact, flight attendant Tan Ningfu also heard it, and a faint blush appeared on her cheeks as well.
Having attracted the attention of Tan Ningfu, someone he fancied, Wang Yanzu became bolder and spoke even more loudly. Patting Xiao Luo’s shoulder, he said, “Brother, since you know the answer to ‘men with long legs,’ then you should also know the answer to ‘women with long legs,’ right?”
“Chún Gao—that’s easy.” Somewhere in the cabin, a male passenger shouted the answer, which meant “lipstick” in Chinese.
“Chún Gao[3]?”
Oh, my goodness!
Such filthy jokes made the faces of all the female passengers go red.
Wang Yanzu enjoyed being the center of attraction, and once he got going, it was difficult to stop him. The other male passengers were even responding to his obscene humor.
Xiao Luo finally found some peace and quickly plugged his earphones on and closed his eyes. If he could, he would’ve also put up a sign that said: do not disturb!
It wasn’t that he was against such humor, but to share obscene jokes around with someone he had only known for less than 10 minutes was another matter.
An elderly man got up and was heading toward the toilet. Suddenly, after just a few steps, he collapsed on the aisle, and his wife quickly went to him and called out, “Help! Anyone, please help my husband!”
Tan Ningfu immediately ran over and attended to the emergency. After assessing the old man’s condition, she put him in a recovery position and promptly reported it to the purser. “A passenger has passed out!”
The purser, along with the safety officer, hurried to the first-class cabin.
“What happened?” the purser asked the old man’s wife.
“I don’t know, I don’t know… Please help my husband, I beg you…” the old lady was sobbing, and held the old man’s hand tightly as she pleaded for someone to help.
The purser immediately said to Tan Ningfu, “Get on the PA and ask if they are any doctors on board!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Tan Ningfu grabbed the handset from her station and spoke into the mouthpiece, “Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. We have a medical emergency, are there any doctors on board? I repeat, are there any doctors on board? Please identify yourself with any of the crew. Thank you.”
The announcement was repeated several times, but no one came forward.
“Aren’t there any doctors on board?”
The purser who was giving the old man first aid, and she sighed when she got the news. She looked at the safety officer and said, “Get in touch with flight control. Inform them about the medical emergency, and request for landing at a nearby airport. Go, hurry!”
The officer left in a hurry and returned soon after, shaking his head. “The nearest airport is Xiahai. It will take us another hour and a half to get there. Flight control has already contacted the Xiahai airport, and a medical team will be ready on arrival.”
“Do we have enough time?”
The purser looked at the old man, he had his eyes shut tightly, and he was in apparent agony. Her heart was racing with anxiety.
*****
[1] Wu Yanzu: Chinese American actor, Daniel Wu.[2] “Dan Gao”: a pun in Chinese, “Dan,” meaning “egg” or “testicle,”; and “Gao,” meaning “tall,” hence “egg-tall,” a reference to a man with long legs.[3]” Chún Gao”: a similar pun as in [2] above,” chún” meaning “lips,” resembles the female private part, hence “lip-high,” a reference to a woman with long legs.