“You forgot to ask about the unicorn.” I said, looking at Hannah who sat in a puddle of blood, staring at her trembling red hands quietly.
“There is no unicorn.” She muttered. Well, there was definitely one, but it was highly unlikely this rapist knew anything about it. Speaking of that man, he was more than dead. Both of his eyes were missing completely, leaving only a bleeding mess behind. He was also missing quite a few fingers, even though these wounds were bandaged properly. The best place to look at was probably his right arm, completely devoid of any skin. She didn´t even realize she had killed him in the process of doing that, and neither was I dumb enough to stop her.
She was certainly still far away from enjoying it, but I was sure we were getting there eventually. After all, I could see her eyes burning.
“I feel so empty.” She muttered, balling her hands into fists once more. A bit of blood escaped through the gaps between her fingers, sprinkling onto the ground.
“You are hungry? I could make you some food if you want.” I proposed and stood up from my chair. I walked over to her slowly, stepped into the blood and squatted down in front of her while making sure my skirt was above the ground. I looked into her green eyes and caressed her cheek gently. “Hannah, look at me.”
“He screamed … I killed him.” Slowly looking upwards with trembling hands.
“What is worse: Your desperation as he forced himself onto you, or his screams?”
“I … “ She found the answer for herself quite quickly, but still refused to see his death as a good thing.
“Hannah, I know about your past. You survived because the people here made fun of you, some more so than others. You lived of the scraps they gave you, from the mouldy slice of bread after a few kids had beaten you up, to the alcohol they poured down your throat to reduce your resistance as you were raped in the middle of the fields when you turned twelve. I know that you survived because others made fun of you and I know how much you hate that I am helping them even though you never voiced your dissatisfaction. They only felt sorry after I supported you and till this day, you are still shaking some of their hands whenever we visit the various construction sites around here. The kid that broke your leg is a farmer now, two of your rapists work as lumberjacks.”
“STOP!” She screamed, holding her hands over her ears as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I heard one of them started a family after he had beaten your stomach when he refused to believe he could be the father of a mongrel.” I said a bit louder than before.
“PLEASE!” She shouted, finally letting go of her ears to hit my shoulders weakly. Her trauma sat deeply, but I didn’t care if I hurt her in any way at that point. I wanted her to help me with stuff which absolutely didn’t fall in the category of whatever Mary would find acceptable, just because I had nobody else. And Hannah … well, she was suited perfectly for such things most importantly because of her past.
“Hitting me won´t change anything. You are as mentally sick as I am. You shook this guy’s hand with a smile on your face a week ago. He knew exactly what he did to you and I can tell you he didn´t even feel remotely sorry while showing us around the new market we build.” I mentioned mercilessly.
“Why …” She muttered, turning from panicking into depressed in a near-instant.
“Why what?” I asked with a soothing tone.
“Why … why are you telling me all of that?” She whispered quietly.
“You are smart enough to figure that out yourself, aren’t you?” I said and took her hands, still on my shoulder, into mine.
“… you want me to murder each and everyone who hurt me?” She asked, a bit louder than before and slowly getting a grip on her rampant emotions.
“… no, Hannah, there wouldn’t be many left in the eastern slum afterwards, would there? Some have families now, some have changed … I wouldn’t mind sparing them and using them in my future plans, but if you want to see them dead as well, we will raze everything to the ground in the future.”
“… I want those who did all of that to suffer … but I don’t want them dead.” She said, looking into my eyes with determination.
“Now it is my turn to ask why.” I asked and tilted my head.
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“That would be far too generous.” She said, dead set on turning the life of her worst tormentors into a nightmare. And I? I honestly didn´t care what she did to them. As long as she lashed out and got accustomed to brutal violence, I wouldn’t even mind if she forced all these men to rape each other … even though I seriously didn´t want to see that.
“Very well … but for now, we have something else to do.” I said and let go of her hands, a bit too early apparently as the rage withing her eyes was rekindled instantly.
“I … want to start right now.” She said quietly.
“Too bad, because that’s not happening.” I said drily and stood up.
“Lucinda, I … I wan-“ I lightly stepped on her fingers, forcing her to look upwards while my eyelids were twitching in disgust.
“I will wait for you upstairs, you can either come up in your bloody clothing and I will tell you where everyone lives, but you will hear nothing from me afterwards … or you dress in that attire afterwards and we will go through every one of your tormentors slowly so that you don’t turn into a bloodthirsty monster.” I said, stepping backwards and turning around while she balled her hands into fists in the puddle of blood. I could see her conflict, knew of the temptation to murder them immediately, but I could also see it would break her apart.
Curious about her decision, I picked up my mask, climbed up the ladder and opened the trapdoor from inside. The thug was already away at this time, so I didn´t even bother to close the door and rather cleaned my shoes with a few rags.
As soon as I was satisfied with the result, I waited while leaning against a nearby wall. It took her around fifteen minutes to appear in front of me, a lot calmer and with way less blood visible.
“You would have killed me if I decided differently, wouldn’t you?” She said, already sure of my answer.
“I wouldn’t dare.” I said plainly.
“You couldn’t let your elf be caught. Killing me would be the only option.” And then what? Justify my actions in front of Mary, telling her I dragged Hannah into what Mary didn´t want all along?
“I have no intention of murdering you, nor owning you.” I claimed.
“And yet, you already do. You control me through my desires.” Did she even know what she was talking about? Controlling her would have looked way different.
“Listen here you little shit. You are smart enough to realize you have no other choice but to do what I say. But something must be wrong in your head as well. You don’t want to turn into a bloodthirsty murderer who cannot control herself. You fail to realize you were on the best way of becoming exactly that after failing to control yourself for over an hour as you tortured that guy. I´m not giving you any choices out of generosity, but rather because they are necessary. I know exactly how it is to feel trapped, and I don’t want you to get as desperate as I was. Trust me, if I ever put you in front of a decision, you are free to decide however you want. I would have gone on a rampage together with you, only to throw you into the elven forest afterwards. You wouldn’t be my problem then. But you know as good as I do that nothing good would come out of that.” I said angrily, nearly hissing at her in the end.
“… is that the truth?” She asked, looking slightly uneasy and a bit fearful. She even grabbed her sleeves, trying to hold onto something.
“… you were a good servant so far. Don’t make me change my opinion of you.” I stated, slowly calming down from my near outburst of rage earlier.
“… I will do my best … Lucinda?” She said, a bit more relaxed as well.
“Yes?” I asked and put on my mask, ready to head home.
“Can you make me something to eat?” She asked, stunning me a bit. I mean, it was in the middle of the night and she never asked something like this from me.
“… sure.” I said, realizing that I offered her something along these lines as a joke.