Jay watched the sky lighten into a gunmetal gray, heralding the breaking of dawn. He'd been up for almost twenty-four hours and could feel every minute weighing him. His attention span was waning. The random talking figures surrounding him and his party were becoming indistinguishable.
He was thankful for Frank right now. The Spook knew the researchers, laborers, soldiers, and agents crawling all over a cul-de-sac on the outskirts of their city. If Frank didn't know them, he put up a good front as if he was one hundred percent on top of his game. He dealt with both eager and stern adults while Jay, Mike, and Dennis milled silently.
Dennis looked just as lost as Jay. Mike studied every piece of equipment or secret draped under heavy government protection. Somehow, the entire cul-de-sac had been evacuated, leaving neither person nor pet. Jay wondered what excuse the government would draft to hide a big operation like this.
"Luckrun, Miller, are you two with us?" barked the tall and muscular operation commander. He wore an immaculate gray buzzcut as sharp as his steel blue eyes. He looked down on both boys like he wanted every reason to eject them from the premise.
Dennis straightened like a good soldier.
Jay slouched and gave the older man a lopsided grin. "I'm a little tired, a little tipsy, and a little horny. But I got these little swords ready to stick something. So, yeah, I'm with you, sir."
Mike coughed into his fist.
Dennis snorted loudly.
The operation commander turned a baleful eye to Frank. "Do what you must, Agent Stronghold. Your country is counting on you."
"Will do, sir."
The commander dismissed them. A head of research woman picked them up seconds later. Two heavily armed escorts trailed them as the party got led around tents, sci-fi-looking vehicles, and panicked adults. The tricked-out rifles the soldiers carried held Jay's attention the most. Then he glanced down at his little swords. It didn't seem fair, but maybe there was a certain logic behind the weaponry madness.
"The readings are off the charts," the Head Researcher explained animatedly, chugging from a thermostat that was hopefully filled with coffee." The anomaly is breaking our instruments. We can't exactly study what it is, but it's massively powerful. We have the source quarantined now, but what we have here might not be an adequate protective measure against an interdimensional phenomenon."
"If you're trying to read if the anomaly's giving off harmful radiation," Mike said, "it might require more esoteric than scientific instruments. Until a new branch of science is created, anything we do that involves System and Magic will probably clash with our old-world thinking."
"Michael Zhou, right?" The Head Researcher stopped at the entrance of the quarantine zone.
"Uh, yes, ma'am."
"Seriously, it's a pleasure. I've read up on your profile, and you're impressive." She shook his hand. "I would love to sit with you, Lilith Hernandez, and Hailey Manning. We can pick each other's brains after you three come back from your respective crawls."
"Crawls?" Mike gasped. "Dungeon and Dragons' fan?"
"Is water wet? 5e will never compare to the glory of 3.5e, but I guess you kids don't like it as crunchy."
"Wait, no, 5e has some well-designed game mechanics, but 3.5e is the holy grail of character creation. It's where being a number munchkin matters!"
Dennis leaned down to Jay. "Should we break up the nerdgasm and get going?"
Jay stroked his chin and wondered if it was too late for another sip of rum. "Nah. This could be our last time on Earth. Let him enjoy the ultimate nerdism. This is top secret access while talking DnD with a black site scientist. This is movie-level stuff happening in our backyard."
Dennis nodded thoughtfully. "Will I meet the President?"
"If we ask YoAnna, I bet she'll make it happen."
"Heh. Having a goddess friend is the best." Dennis pumped a fist, the other holding his greatsword on his shoulder.
Frank looked like he was going to have an aneurysm. He was probably a big hater of being casual with authority figures and high-status professionals.
Jay gave the teenage spook a sidelong glance.
"Don't," Frank warned.
"Kek, kek."
"God damn you, Luckrun."
***
Leaving the Head Researcher and their armed escorts behind, Jay's party entered the quarantined section. The place had thin white walls and steel frames holding it up. Pipes ran along the ceiling with nozzles disseminating a sprinkle of something that smelled of lemon and disinfectant.
The party wasn't alone either. There were other soldiers and scientists, but they were dressed in black hazmat suits.
"Mike, I'm thinking of a word," Jay said.
"Does it have something to do with how weird our situation is?"
"Yeah."
"I believe you're thinking of a dichotomy, but that's mainly a representation of two contrasting subjects. We're in a situation that has at least four contrasting elements.
"It's less than twelve hours since we've arrived at the house party. Skip from then to now, and here we are, teens dressed in fantasy armor with magical weapons. We're getting cream of the crop tinhat access to a dungeon crawl quarantined by our government. They must adhere to our divine childhood friend's wishes, making them play nice with us. Half of the adults are trying to be super serious. The other half is letting their inner kid squeal."
"I'm one of those adults with the inner kid squealing right now," a hazmat scientist said in greeting. "You have no idea how jealous we are of you boys."
"I'm not sure about all of this myself just yet," Dennis said plainly. "But I started thinking if giant dragon-slaying swords and pure elven princesses are involved, I'm your guy."
"Can we please get to the anomaly," Frank said hastily as the scientist and guards choked on air.
"Kek, kek." Jay chuckled.
***
They entered rooms filled to the brim with hazmat officials and malfunctioning equipment. Hundreds of machines smoldered and shot sparks to the ire of their handlers.
The party followed a long tunnel heavily guarded by machine gun-toting grunts. Jay pushed down the feeling his little goblin swords weren't adequate. Then they stopped in front of a white door that was left ajar.
"I can't go any further than this," the scientist admitted. "It gets funky for us beyond this point. We've been told to let you four go as you are even though it feels ridiculous to me."
"It's because we're magic now," Dennis said.
The scientist struggled to respond.
"It's okay." Dennis reached over and patted the man's shoulder. "I don't have a clue what's going on. I'm, like, the least qualified person to explain anything. But I have a few ideas. I saw magic, it's real, and I think we'll be okay if we go in there and win."
"To be young again," the scientist said wistfully. "All right, kids, go have fun and please come back alive."
The scientist backed off.
"Dennis, take point position. It'll be easier to strike with my poleax as your second. Mike, you're third. Luckrun." Frank whirled on Jay. "I'm trusting you with our backs."
"You can actually trust me?" Jay gaped dramatically.
"I don't have a choice if we want to be effective," Frank said through gritted teeth.
"[Fighters] need to be upfront," Mike explained. "It's honestly a good thing we have a lot of them. They're bread-and-butter in most situations."
"Ah, the old hit it with a sharp metal stick until it dies strategy," Jay said.
"I have a counter to our formation," Mike said. "Jay will do well as a scout, too."
"We'll see if that is necessary," Frank said.
"Which reminds me, why did we get [Monkey Boon]?" Jay asked. "I can't read it like I can read my Skills or Gear."
"What?" Frank shook his head slowly. "You mean [Dragon Boon]. That's in the Talents section we all share."
"Dennis, what's your boon?" Mike asked.
"[Ox Boon]," Dennis answered.
"I have the [Owl Boon]. Hm. Looks like there are more divergences than our Classes and Skills."
"God dammit. Why is she playing with us like this?" Frank asked. "It feels like she's making it up as she goes."
"She is making it up as she goes," Jay said, getting serious for once. "It's on us to figure out the rest. Can anyone [Identify] that stuff?"
None of them could. They could only identify their Skills and gear and no more. Not even the Attributes or Titles were viewable. At the very least, they could share what their first Skills did. They hashed out some final details and started the crawl before they got cold feet.
Dennis pointed his sword forward and pushed the door. The hinges creaked as the door yawned open, revealing a hallway adjacent to the stairs leading to the second floor. It was normal at first glance. Then Jay registered the uncanny distortions of proportions. Like the place was a little bigger than it should've been and threw off his sense of space.
You are reading story The Gravity Freak of Dungeons and Monsters: System Portal Fantasy at novel35.com
Dennis took a deep breath and stalked forward. Once inside, he raised his sword since the ceiling was winding high overhead. He had plenty of space to swing. Frank followed with his poleax tipped down. He looked like a spring ready to explode. Mike followed with his wand lifted at the ready, leaving Jay to pull up the rear.
Jay stepped carefully, keeping an eye on the corners while checking their rear periodically as Frank had requested. His steps were graceful and deft after years of rooftop pursuits. Gripped tightly in his hands, goblin steel hung from the end of each arm. He kept his feet on the ground, too, just in case he wanted to shift in any direction at a moment's notice.
The family hallway grew around them the further they went. The table holding family pictures was a size made for people twice as tall as them. Jay could see mouse holes as tall as his ankles in the walls. It was taking forever just to reach the living room.
By the time they arrived at their destination, the place had reached a size that was only liveable for titans. The party stopped to fully appreciate sofas as tall as buildings, the biggest media set and flat TV anyone could ever watch, and a smattering of toys strewn all over. One of the action figures was nearly as tall as Jay.
"There," Frank pointed his poleax at a tiny glinting light in the center of the chaos. "That's the entrance."
"Then what's the rest of this?" Mike asked.
"Could be a warning from the dungeon."
"Nightmare Toy Story?" Jay suggested.
"Please, don't," Dennis begged. "Those movies are part of all the good stuff from the 90s. Gotta keep ancient history sacred, dudes."
"Easy, now," Frank said. "This is what we've signed up for. Could be hell for all we know, and we'll still have to do what we must and win."
"Yeah, true," Dennis replied.
"I concur," Mike said.
"Lead the way, Agent Spook," Jay said.
Like the utmost professional, Frank did just that. Dennis and Mike fell in step behind him quickly. Jay lingered at the threshold between the hall and the living room and looked up. Far up. Then he looked around a little harder.
It was all weird and wrong. Like a mockery of childhood joy. The floor was carpeted and an odd mustard yellow. The furniture had a bent toward them that was aggressive. When he reexamined the nearest action figure, the expression on its face was menacing, deranged, and cruel.
Jay shivered.
"This place is evil." He looked up at the others who were farther ahead. He ran over and got in front of them. "It's evil."
Frank frowned. "That's not a surprising development. It's a hostile attempt of the System to challenge and disrupt YoAnna's role in our dimension. But it's still supposed to be fair toward us."
"Yeah, cool, I get that, but I'm telling you. It isn't just some paper-pusher giving us problems because it's part of its duties. I got this feeling that we're going up against a real bastard that'll personally see us hurt."
"Should we back off and tell YoAnna?" Mike asked.
"We can't," Frank said. "We need to eliminate this problem now. The window is short. Maybe just a few hours before it wins, and we learn the consequences of that."
"I'm still a little fuzzy about why we're rushing," Dennis said. "Even if we lose one, we rally back to get better on the board."
Frank shook his head. "If we fail too often and YoAnna is seen as incompetent by the System, we're facing an apocalypse. I can't say YoAnna is completely genuine. She surely has plans for our dimension and has been open about such. But the devil you know is better than the devil you don't."
"She's not an evil sith lord," Jay said.
"She's not," Mike backed him.
"But there's evil out there," Jay said. "Evil that destroyed YoAnna's people. Evil that'll want nothing more than to make us suffer while it spreads."
"Then we don't have a choice," Dennis grunted. He pointed his sword at the shining light that marked the dungeon's entrance.
It was like a shifting crystal made of light, but this light was burning where YoAnna's light was benevolent and warm. Wrong. Uninviting. Hostile.
"I'm going first," Jay said. "Scout ahead."
"Do you even know how?" Frank asked.
Jay smirked. "You've read my profile, right? That's what a spook would do."
"Street dancing and parkour don't equate to stealth." Frank glared.
"Good, you didn't catch me breaking into places I shouldn't have." Just so he could find more interesting spots to maneuver around. He'd never been caught because he'd been careful. Some of those places were government interests.
"That doesn't mean you have the proper training, Luckrun."
"In for a penny, in for a pound."
Jay crossed the rest of the distance to the dungeon entrance. A blue message appeared as Frank, and the others rushed to catch up.
Do you wish to enter the Toyreveler's Dungeon, Rank 1? Yes/no?
Jay waited. "Me first or me first?"
"If I hear you screaming in excruciating pain, I'll know to point my weapon in your direction," Frank said.
Jay grinned. "Thirty seconds, then drop in after me."
Before he chickened out or Mike convinced him to stop and think, Jay selected the Yes option. His party blinked away into the darkness, disappearing. The room flickered in and out of view. Then it reappeared with more solidity, more menace, more creepy factors.
The carpet was moldy. The air was muggy. A yellow, eye-searing light in the far distant ceiling flickered every few seconds. It made his head hurt as Jay kept surveying the area. The furniture was more worn down. Gouges and claw marks covered the wood or tore apart the sofa material. Everything mainly was in place except for a few oddities.
The action figures were gone.
Jay pushed on [Moonwalker's] more active power and easily scaled a giant wooden toy block. He crouched on the block's edge and scanned the area. No movement. No bad signs. It was eerily still and unassuming except for the tension that wouldn't escape him.
For some strange reason, it took about four minutes for Frank, Dennis, and Mike to appear. The tension Jay felt eased up a tad. Getting inside the dungeon probably took time, like a loading screen.
They reorientated themselves and gathered near the block Jay was perched on.
"Anything?" Frank asked.
"Nothing," Jay said grimly.
"Yo, Mike, you're the Second Nerd. Any thoughts?" Dennis asked with a trembling voice.
"Either it's a slow starter, or it's observing us at the start," Mike said. "Anything can happen on a dungeon crawl."
"What's the target again?" Jay asked.
"The core," Frank answered.
"Where would that be?" Dennis asked.
Jay and Mike shared a glance. By instinctual or intellectual means, they both looked up. All the way up.
Frank sighed.
Dennis furrowed his brow. "This is crap. How long until the dragon swords and elven princesses?"
Frank didn't bother to reply and started leading them toward the dungeon hallway. Jay waited behind, keeping an eye on their line and seeing what was ahead. Movement on the right peripherals caught his attention. Something big, green, and long that slithered.
"Snake to your right!" Jay warned.
"We are not using right and left. Keep the hallway entrance in mind as our twelve o'clock!" Frank instructed as he turned to face the incoming threat. "Jay, stay where you are and keep overwatch."
"If they're smart, they're going to know I'm the eyes here," Jay said. A slight tingly sensation crawled down his spine. He almost ignored it.
Almost.
Jay jumped into a somersault. Something wooshed by where he'd been standing. Instead of hitting the ground, he landed back on the block and faced the other way around.
It was another snake. It was reared up to a height taller than him even while on the ground. From this vantage, Jay could see the gaps where its wood body connected in a series of segmented blocks. Its maw opened on a hinge. Its fangs glinted, displaying steel coated in venom.
[Identifying]: Giant Viper Toy, Level 8–This fake snake monster doesn't attack to survive. It hunts for the thrill. To crush your body in a bind and pierce your flesh with its fangs gives it a feeling of bliss. Don't ignore the metal teeth in favor of its splintered flesh.
"Darn nabbit," Jay said, smiling to hide his fear, "I can't make you into boots if you're all wood and metal."