Chapter 31: Every Cursing Sentence is Classic!
The war of words carried on.
Tian Bin was experienced at Weibo, having used it for many years. He had many more fans, who were much more loyal. With his lead, he immediately caused the people supporting Zhang Ye to retreat!
“You can’t defeat us in your curses, right?”
“If you can’t, then cut the crap!”
“Still speaking up for Zhang Ye? All of you should just get lost, along with him!”
There were criticisms everywhere. Zhang Ye’s fans had no way of defending themselves!
Since someone from the radio station had called Zhang Ye, then there was definitely another person who had contacted Tian Bin. However, not only did Tian Bin not delete his Weibo messages, he even fanned the flames to cause more friction. Finally, Zhang Ye’s wrath was unleashed!
Are you cursing?
Alright, here we go! I’ll count every one of them!
Today I’ll show you my warring skills!
Zhang Ye’s vocabulary in cursing was actually lacking, but he was not afraid, because he was not fighting alone! He immediately used all the Internet catchphrases from his previous world and scolded in return, “Indeed, I’m a villainous person intoxicated by success, but some people are not even human. What are they even talking about? I want to know, whose whose Weibo is this? Are you verified as a VIP? You are not a VIP. You not even a V. From all I see, you are a P (fart). Your complex facial features cannot hide your simple IQ. When I see you, I feel to have a naturally superior IQ. Friends, do not scold them. Never battle with beasts. If you win? You are more beastly than beasts. If you lose? You are not even a beast (inhuman). If it’s a tie? You are no different from a beast! Also, we can never beat idiots, nor should we try to reason with idiots. This is because they would drag your intelligence down to their level, then they would beat you with their immense experience!”
This world had its catchphrases, too. For example, “Your door is filled with parasol trees.” This was due to something that happened half a year ago. Parasol trees were planted at mental institutions in the entire country and this was a widely spread practice. In the end, parasol trees were used as a euphemism to insinuate that someone was crazy. Similarly, Zhang Ye had the catchphrases from his world. These catchphrases had never been heard of in this world. Furthermore, this was the essence gathered from the collective wisdom of the masses. With so much knowledge gathered in Zhang Ye, how could he lose?
With this reply, the replies underneath the post exploded immediately!
“Holy shit!”
“Teacher Zhang is striking back!”
“Ahahahaha! Quick, take a look!”
“It’s too delightful! You are too awesome!”
“I’m totally convinced of Teacher Zhang Ye’s talent today!”
“His novel is classic, his poems are classic. Hehe, even his curses are classic. Wow, I think I’m in love with Teacher Zhang Ye. He’s too aggressive!”
“Never battle with beasts? Haha!”
“Beat you with their immense experience? What a godly statement! It is definitely a godly statement!”
Tian Bin replied. One could feel the embarrassment and anger in his words. “You are cursing? Do you have any culture in you? Do you know your status?”
“Supporting Teacher Tian!”
“A broadcasting host with such manners should be fired!”
“What sort of person is he! How can the radio station hire a radio host of this quality?”
The moment Zhang Ye engaged in battle, Tian Bin’s fans also helped Tian Bin battle with Zhang Ye!
Zhang Ye answered calmly, “I am not cursing. I am just narrating the truth and facts. I’m teaching everyone how to communicate with people like you. I have come into contact with Teacher Tian. The first word that came to my mind when I saw Teacher Tian was the word, ‘well’ (井)!”
Someone asked, “Well? Water well?”
“A frog in the well?” someone guessed.
Only Zhang Ye was able to clear their doubts, “井 is the word 二 (doing things dumbly and unbecoming of their status) both horizontally and vertically!”
Immediately all sorts of emoticons of spitting out their water while laughing appeared below the message, “Hahaha!”
Zhang Ye did not stop, “Teacher Tian, I always had a question. Why did you give up treatment? Why? There are so many weapons in China, but why did you have to learn swords (jiàn). Why did you not learn the way of the upper sword, but have to learn the way of the lower sword (xiàjiàn/morally degrading). Why did you not learn iron swords, but have to learn silver swords (yín jiàn/morally lewd). Congratulations for becoming one with the sword today, commonly known as a sword person (jiàn rén/slut)!”
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Tian Bin, “…$#%$##@!!”
“Your grandmother!”
“Zhang Ye, you are too harsh!”
“You are a parasol tree!”
“Dumb pig! Idiot!”
Tian Bin’s fans immediately cried out with anger!
As for Zhang Ye’s fans, they were dumbfounded. They momentarily forgot to reply to help push the tide. They were only watching.
However, Zhang Ye did not stop. He replied with sentence after sentence, “You are the dumb pig! Your whole damned family are dumb pigs!* Teacher Tian, actually you shouldn’t feel inferior. Even if you made a mistake to cause the Leader to cancel your program, you are still a successful person. As a model case for being a failure, you are too successful!”
Everyone, “…”
Zhang Ye carried on cursing, “There is a saying that is especially good. God said let there be light, and so there was light. God said let there be water, so there was water. God said let there be idiots, hence you were born.” With a pause, “Actually to summarize, I shall give you a sentence, I bought a watch last year (wǒ qùnián mǎi gè biǎo)!”
Some netizens said, “Ah? Buying a watch? What does this mean?”
Another fan of Tian Bin retorted, “You can’t even say your words properly; how are you even a host? Is that a sentence? The term to describe the quantity for watch is kuài; to think you bought a (gè) watch?””
Zhang Ye said, “Try typing out the first letter of each word!”
“I bought a watch last year? WQNMLGB? F**k your mother’s c**t (wǒ qù nǐ māle gébì)? Hahahaha!” Netizens immediately burst out with laughter till their backs bent over!
Zhang Ye cursed Tian Bin for more than an hour. Not a single one of his curses were repeated and each was worse than the last!
Tian Bin angrily said, “You are so ugly! Why don’t you look at yourself in the mirror!”
Zhang Ye typed with a smile, “Indeed, I’m not good looking. But at least I’m pleasing to the eye. As for you? Your photo can be hung on the wall to ward off evil! Hung above the bed, it wards off pregnancy!”
Seeing this sentence, Tian Bin nearly vomited blood as he went into a rage! Zhang! I’m irreconcilable with you!
“Hung on the wall to ward off evil? Hung above the bed, it wards off pregnancy?”
“Puchi! Ahahahaha! So damaging! So damaging that it reaches your grandma’s house!”
“Delightful! I never knew cursing can be done in this way! Teacher Zhang is invincible!”
This sentence was actually a classic amongst swear phrases. Once it was revealed, more than a hundred responses and comments surged in the next ten seconds. The onlookers could no longer sit still!
With Zhang Ye leading the way, his fans who were pushed into a corner immediately turned the tides as their momentum rose to unprecedented heights! They began to swing the flags of battle for Zhang Ye!
Tian Bin was still returning fire with curses, but he was no match for Zhang Ye. In the beginning, there were many Tian Bin fans who were helping their idol curse at Zhang Ye. However, Zhang Ye’s combat power was too monstrous. He did not need the help from his fans. His tongue was like a warring hero, as he managed to silence hundreds of people alone. In the end, almost none of Tian Bin’s fans said a word. Those who had joined in the fun to curse were attacked by Zhang Ye, until their intestines turned green. After a few retaliative words, they knew they were no match for Zhang Ye. They slowly disappeared, so as to not embarrass themselves. There was only Tian Bin who was retaliating with anger!
He battled one against a hundred!
After cursing away one, another came!
The final outcome was…Zhang Ye’s complete victory!
All the onlookers on Weibo were stunned!
What the f**k is this battle power? Could swearing be so earth-shattering? This was the first time they had seen it! Only when Tian Bin was sworn at until he was reduced to a whimper did the crowd come around. Quickly, they began becoming fans of Zhang Ye’s Weibo account in an excited fervor. His fan count surged to 31,000. With that, Zhang Ye’s game ring’s Reputation points rose from several thousand to 54,000!
Zhang Ye was speechless!
Cursing could also bring Reputation points? Heh, this makes me feel good!
Zhang Ye was pondering if he should make a living through cursing. This Reputation seemed to be gained for free. Could he become the world’s greatest celebrity just from cursing?
* This is a popular Chinese slang in the form “You’re the one XXX! Your whole damned family XXX!”. It came from “My Own Swordsman” character, Mo Xiaobei. The original text goes along the lines of someone saying to Mo Xiaobei, “Mo Xiaobei, you are a child who matured early!”, before Mo Xiaobei replies “You’re the one maturing early! Your whole damned family matured early!”