The conference room door was open, and she saw Grace sitting at the table with a pile of tissues in front of her. Tanni hesitated. Either Grace had come down with a wretched cold—or she’d been crying.
Not until she walked into the room did Tanni notice that Grace wasn’t alone. Kristen Jamey sat across from her, and instinctively Tanni stiffened.
Grace glanced up. “Oh, hello, Tanni. I apologize for the tears. My dog, Buttercup…” She didn’t finish.
“Grace found Buttercup dead this morning,” Kristen explained. “She died in her sleep. Grace’s husband, Cliff, is burying Buttercup in her favorite shady spot.”
“Oh, Grace, I’m so sorry.” Tanni felt terrible for her. She’d lost her own dog, Bingo, when she was ten and, until her father’s death, it’d been the worst event of her life.
“I’d had Buttercup at the vet earlier in the week and everything seemed to be okay. She was getting on in years and sleeping a lot, but…this was unexpected.”
“Maybe we should cancel the meeting,” Kristen suggested, looking at Tanni.
“Sure. I can come another time.”
“No.” Grace dabbed at her eyes. “You’re both here and the others are coming. I’ll be fine. Just give me a few minutes.”
Kristen reached across the table and squeezed her hand gently. Tanni wanted to say something but she didn’t really know how to comfort Grace. She thought of telling her about Bingo and how sad she’d been when he died. Only it didn’t seem like a good idea to share her own pain because it might make her weep, too.
“My dog’s name was Bingo,” Kristen whispered.
Tanni’s head shot up.
“He was part cocker spaniel and part something else, although no one ever seemed to know what. Maybe poodle. My brother found him. The poor dog looked like he’d been lost a long time. Bingo didn’t have any identification, and we put an ad in the paper but no one claimed him. The day my dad was going to take him to the shelter I cried and cried, so my parents let me keep him. He’d become my friend. He even slept on my bed.”
Bingo had slept on Tanni’s bed, too.
“I got Buttercup from a friend of Charlotte Rhodes. It was shortly after my first husband died. I was so lonely, and Buttercup seemed to know how much I needed her. She loved Cliff…and me.” Grace grabbed another tissue and blew her nose. “Enough. I have to get a grip here.”
“If it’s any consolation, it does get easier with time,” Kristen said in the same soothing voice. “I still think about Bingo and sometimes—” she glanced hesitantly at Tanni “—sometimes I feel as if he’s still at the end of my bed asleep.”
Tanni looked away. She felt the same thing about her Bingo.
The meeting lasted two hours. The four original volunteers showed up, plus three other adults who sat in to listen to the presentation. All three decided that they, too, wanted to be part of the program.
Tanni kept her eye on Kristen. The other girl had been so good with Grace. Kristen had said everything Tanni wished she’d been able to say. Kristen had expressed sympathy and understanding and done it in a compassionate, thoughtful way.
Tanni didn’t know the airhead was even capable of that. While Kristen had been comforting Grace, Tanni had sat like a dope with her tongue glued to the roof of her mouth.
When the meeting ended, Tanni followed Kristen out of the building. She wanted to tell her about Bingo. Her Bingo.
Apparently Kristen saw that Tanni was behind her because once they’d left the building, she whirled around. “What do you want?” she snapped.
“Ah…”
“You’ve made it clear you don’t like me, Tanni. I don’t know what I ever did to you, but it must’ve been awful.”
“Actually, I wanted to tell you something.”
“So tell me.”
She hated the way Kristen made her feel. Grace had asked Tanni to make an effort with the other girl, and so far nothing had worked. Well, okay, she could’ve tried harder. She took a deep breath.
“I had a dog named Bingo, too,” she told her.
Kristen’s gaze narrowed as though she didn’t believe her.
“You can ask my mother if you want. It’s true. He died six years ago.”
For a long moment Kristen didn’t say anything. “I still miss my Bingo.”
Tanni stared down at the pavement. “I miss my Bingo, too.”
The other girl hesitated. “Would you like to walk over to Mocha Mama’s?”
Her suspicions immediately shot up. “Why?”
Kristen shrugged. “To get something to drink. If you’ve got other plans, it’s no big deal.”
Tanni made a show of looking at her watch. “I’ve got a few minutes.”
“Great.” Kristen was all smiles now.
They walked across the street and down the next block to Mocha Mama’s, where Shaw had once worked. His uncle owned the shop and had replaced Shaw with another manager. Adam was a college student who instantly perked up when Kristen and Tanni walked in. Tanni knew his sudden interest wasn’t in her. Adam’s eyes went straight to Kristen.
“What can I get you ladies?” Adam asked cheerfully.
Twice when she’d stopped by, Tanni had to wait while Adam talked on his cell phone. Seeing the way he reacted to Kristen confirmed everything Tanni knew about the other girl. It wasn’t fair that this airhead would command such adoration. Shaw would probably want to draw Kristen’s portrait, too, she thought cynically.
Thinking about him made her tense. Without being too obvious about it, she got out her cell phone to see if there was a text message from Shaw, desperately hoping he’d answered her while she was in the meeting at the library.
He hadn’t.
No surprise there. She hadn’t heard from him since the night before, when she’d practically begged him to reply. Then his answer had been short and had basically said he was studying and she should leave him alone. She’d tossed and turned half the night.
“What would you like?” Kristen asked, breaking into Tanni’s thoughts.
It took her a moment to respond. “I’ll have a chai tea.”
“Me, too,” Kristen said,
Tanni rummaged in her purse for money.
“It’s on the house,” Adam said.
Kristen thanked Adam and when they’d been served she led the way to a table by the window. It was the same one where Tanni often used to sit with Shaw.
“That must happen to you a lot,” Tanni said, unable to hide her sarcasm.
“You mean getting stuff for free?”
“Yeah.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes.”
Tanni’s cell dinged, indicating she had a text message. In her effort to reach her cell, she nearly tumbled off the chair. When she saw that the message was from her brother, Nick, who’d stayed in Seattle for the summer, she wanted to weep with frustration. She became aware of Kristen watching her and quickly shoved the phone back in her purse.
“I wanted to tell you something,” Kristen said. “I know you don’t like me. I’m not sure why, but I can guess.”
Tanni doubted Kristen would understand her feelings, but she wasn’t going to argue. “Let me ask you something, okay?”
“Sure.” Kristen sounded eager to clear the air.
“Why did you volunteer? Are you doing it because your GPA stinks and you figure having this on your college application is going to help?”
“No.” Her denial was instantaneous and vehement.
“Then why?”
Kristen’s hand tightened around her drink. “I had trouble learning to read, too. I’m dyslexic, but when I first started school we lived in this really small town and they didn’t test me for it. I struggled for a long time before I caught on to the concept of reading. I wanted to help another child learn because if a volunteer hadn’t stepped in to help me, I might’ve turned out to be one of those functional illiterates Grace talked about in the meeting this afternoon.”
“You’re dyslexic?” Tanni found it hard to believe.
“I know you think I’m an airhead. But I’m not stupid. It’s just that I have a different way of learning than most people.”
“Oh.” Tanni felt immediately guilty. “I assumed your heart wasn’t really in this.”
“It is,” Kristen said with such conviction that Tanni would never doubt her again.
“What about you?” Kristen asked, then sipped at her creamy chai tea.
Tanni hesitated. The other girl had been honest with her. The least she could do was repay her in kind. “I need to get my mind off Shaw.”
“Shaw used to work here, didn’t he?”
She answered with a nod. “He’s attending the San Francisco Art Institute now.”
“Wow, that’s great.”
“For him it is.” Tanni, on the other hand, was stuck in Cedar Cove and would be for another year, if not longer. Before Shaw left, they’d promised never to let anything or anyone come between them. He hadn’t even been away three months and he was giving her the brush-off.
When he’d first gone to San Francisco, they’d been in constant communication. Now she was lucky if she heard from him three times a week. Whenever she did she was so happy; her behavior was downright pitiful. She hated her own reaction to his lack of contact as much as she hated what had happened between them.
“Not so good for you, right?” Kristen asked.
“You could say that.” Tanni was unable to hide the pain in her voice. “We used to text every hour…. Now I hardly hear from him. I just wish he’d say he wants to break up, you know. Instead, he’s killing me with this silence.”
“Guys usually don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Initiate the breakup.”
Kristen was the one with the experience in the dating world. Shaw was Tanni’s first real boyfriend. He’d also become her best friend. They’d shared their love of art and each other, and everything had been perfect. Well, not completely, because Shaw was stuck here at Mocha Mama’s brewing coffee and dying on the inside because he wanted to be an artist.
“Do you think Shaw wants to break up with me?” Tanni asked. Maybe Kristen could help her understand what was going on.
“Tell me how he’s been acting.”
Tanni talked for thirty minutes, rattling off a litany of slights Shaw had committed since he’d moved to California.
“You say he never would’ve gotten into the art institute if it hadn’t been for some friends of your mother’s?” Kristen asked.
Eagerly Tanni nodded. “He owes me.”
“He knows it, too, which complicates his feelings.”
“All he has to do is say the word and I’m out of his life.” She made it sound cut and dried, although it would be one of the hardest things she’d ever had to go through. Not as hard as losing her dad.
Kristen’s laugh poured salt into Tanni’s already wounded heart.