A very happy personage in the year of grace 1482, was the noble gentleman Robert d'Estouteville, chevalier, Sieur de Beyne, Baron d'Ivry and Saint Andry en la Marche, counsellor and chamberlain to the king, and guard of the provostship of Paris. It was already nearly seventeen years since he had received from the king, on November 7, 1465, the comet year,* that fine charge of the provostship of Paris, which was reputed rather a seigneury than an office. ~Dignitas~, says Joannes Loemnoeus, ~quoe cum non exigua potestate politiam concernente, atque proerogativis multis et juribus conjuncta est~. A marvellous thing in '82 was a gentleman bearing the king's commission, and whose letters of institution ran back to the epoch of the marriage of the natural daughter of Louis XI. with Monsieur the Bastard of Bourbon.
* This comet against which Pope Calixtus, uncle of Borgia, ordered public prayers, is the same which reappeared in 1835.
The same day on which Robert d'Estouteville took the place of Jacques de Villiers in the provostship of Paris, Master Jehan Dauvet replaced Messire Helye de Thorrettes in the first presidency of the Court of Parliament, Jehan Jouvenel des Ursins supplanted Pierre de Morvilliers in the office of chancellor of France, Regnault des Dormans ousted Pierre Puy from the charge of master of requests in ordinary of the king's household. Now, upon how many heads had the presidency, the chancellorship, the mastership passed since Robert d'Estouteville had held the provostship of Paris. It had been "granted to him for safekeeping," as the letters patent said; and certainly he kept it well. He had clung to it, he had incorporated himself with it, he had so identified himself with it that he had escaped that fury for change which possessed Louis XI., a tormenting and industrious king, whose policy it was to maintain the elasticity of his power by frequent appointments and revocations. More than this; the brave chevalier had obtained the reversion of the office for his son, and for two years already, the name of the noble man Jacques d'Estouteville, equerry, had figured beside his at the head of the register of the salary list of the provostship of Paris. A rare and notable favor indeed! It is true that Robert d'Estouteville was a good soldier, that he had loyally raised his pennon against "the league of public good," and that he had presented to the queen a very marvellous stag in confectionery on the day of her entrance to Paris in 14... Moreover, he possessed the good friendship of Messire Tristan l'Hermite, provost of the marshals of the king's household. Hence a very sweet and pleasant existence was that of Messire Robert. In the first place, very good wages, to which were attached, and from which hung, like extra bunches of grapes on his vine, the revenues of the civil and criminal registries of the provostship, plus the civil and criminal revenues of the tribunals of Embas of the Chatelet, without reckoning some little toll from the bridges of Mantes and of Corbeil, and the profits on the craft of Shagreen-makers of Paris, on the corders of firewood and the measurers of salt. Add to this the pleasure of displaying himself in rides about the city, and of making his fine military costume, which you may still admire sculptured on his tomb in the abbey of Valmont in Normandy, and his morion, all embossed at Montlhéry, stand out a contrast against the parti-colored red and tawny robes of the aldermen and police. And then, was it nothing to wield absolute supremacy over the sergeants of the police, the porter and watch of the Chatelet, the two auditors of the Chatelet, ~auditores castelleti~, the sixteen commissioners of the sixteen quarters, the jailer of the Chatelet, the four enfeoffed sergeants, the hundred and twenty mounted sergeants, with maces, the chevalier of the watch with his watch, his sub-watch, his counter-watch and his rear-watch? Was it nothing to exercise high and low justice, the right to interrogate, to hang and to draw, without reckoning petty jurisdiction in the first resort (~in prima instantia~, as the charters say), on that viscomty of Paris, so nobly appanaged with seven noble bailiwicks? Can anything sweeter be imagined than rendering judgments and decisions, as Messire Robert d'Estouteville daily did in the Grand Chatelet, under the large and flattened arches of Philip Augustus? and going, as he was wont to do every evening, to that charming house situated in the Rue Galilee, in the enclosure of the royal palace, which he held in right of his wife, Madame Ambroise de Lore, to repose after the fatigue of having sent some poor wretch to pass the night in "that little cell of the Rue de Escorcherie, which the provosts and aldermen of Paris used to make their prison; the same being eleven feet long, seven feet and four inches wide, and eleven feet high?"*
* Comptes du domaine, 1383.
And not only had Messire Robert d'Estouteville his special court as provost and vicomte of Paris; but in addition he had a share, both for eye and tooth, in the grand court of the king. There was no head in the least elevated which had not passed through his hands before it came to the headsman. It was he who went to seek M. de Nemours at the Bastille Saint Antoine, in order to conduct him to the Halles; and to conduct to the Grève M. de Saint-Pol, who clamored and resisted, to the great joy of the provost, who did not love monsieur the constable.
Here, assuredly, is more than sufficient to render a life happy and illustrious, and to deserve some day a notable page in that interesting history of the provosts of Paris, where one learns that Oudard de Villeneuve had a house in the Rue des Boucheries, that Guillaume de Hangest purchased the great and the little Savoy, that Guillaume Thiboust gave the nuns of Sainte-Geneviève his houses in the Rue Clopin, that Hugues Aubriot lived in the H?tel du Pore-Epic, and other domestic facts.
Nevertheless, with so many reasons for taking life patiently and joyously, Messire Robert d'Estouteville woke up on the morning of the seventh of January, 1482, in a very surly and peevish mood. Whence came this ill temper? He could not have told himself. Was it because the sky was gray? or was the buckle of his old belt of Montlhéry badly fastened, so that it confined his provostal portliness too closely? had he beheld ribald fellows, marching in bands of four, beneath his window, and setting him at defiance, in doublets but no shirts, hats without crowns, with wallet and bottle at their side? Was it a vague presentiment of the three hundred and seventy livres, sixteen sous, eight farthings, which the future King Charles VII. was to cut off from the provostship in the following year? The reader can take his choice; we, for our part, are much inclined to believe that he was in a bad humor, simply because he was in a bad humor.
Moreover, it was the day after a festival, a tiresome day for every one, and above all for the magistrate who is charged with sweeping away all the filth, properly and figuratively speaking, which a festival day produces in Paris. And then he had to hold a sitting at the Grand Chatelet. Now, we have noticed that judges in general so arrange matters that their day of audience shall also be their day of bad humor, so that they may always have some one upon whom to vent it conveniently, in the name of the king, law, and justice.
However, the audience had begun without him. His lieutenants, civil, criminal, and private, were doing his work, according to usage; and from eight o'clock in the morning, some scores of bourgeois and ~bourgeoises~, heaped and crowded into an obscure corner of the audience chamber of Embas du Chatelet, between a stout oaken barrier and the wall, had been gazing blissfully at the varied and cheerful spectacle of civil and criminal justice dispensed by Master Florian Barbedienne,
auditor of the Chatelet, lieutenant of monsieur the provost, in a somewhat confused and utterly haphazard manner.
The hall was small, low, vaulted. A table studded with fleurs-de-lis stood at one end, with a large arm-chair of carved oak, which belonged to the provost and was empty, and a stool on the left for the auditor, Master Florian. Below sat the clerk of the court, scribbling; opposite was the populace; and in front of the door, and in front of the table were many sergeants of the provostship in sleeveless jackets of violet camlet, with white crosses. Two sergeants of the Parloir- aux-Bourgeois, clothed in their jackets of Toussaint, half red, half blue, were posted as sentinels before a low, closed door, which was visible at the extremity of the hall, behind the table. A single pointed window, narrowly encased in the thick wall, illuminated with a pale ray of January sun two grotesque figures,--the capricious demon of stone carved as a tail-piece in the keystone of the vaulted ceiling, and the judge seated at the end of the hall on the fleurs-de-lis.
Imagine, in fact, at the provost's table, leaning upon his elbows between two bundles of documents of cases, with his foot on the train of his robe of plain brown cloth, his face buried in his hood of white lamb's skin, of which his brows seemed to be of a piece, red, crabbed, winking, bearing majestically the load of fat on his cheeks which met under his chin, Master Florian Barbedienne, auditor of the Chatelet.
Now, the auditor was deaf. A slight defect in an auditor. Master Florian delivered judgment, none the less, without appeal and very suitably. It is certainly quite sufficient for a judge to have the .air of listening; and the venerable auditor fulfilled this condition, the sole one in justice, all the better because his attention could not be distracted by any noise.
Moreover, he had in the audience, a pitiless censor of his deeds and gestures, in the person of our friend Jehan Frollo du Moulin, that little student of yesterday, that "stroller," whom one was sure of encountering all over Paris, anywhere except before the rostrums of the professors.
"Stay," he said in a low tone to his companion, Robin Poussepain, who was grinning at his side, while he was making his comments on the scenes which were being unfolded before his eyes, "yonder is Jehanneton du Buisson. The beautiful daughter of the lazy dog at the Marché-Neuf!--Upon my soul, he is condemning her, the old rascal! he has no more eyes than ears. Fifteen sous, four farthings, parisian, for having worn two rosaries! 'Tis somewhat dear. ~Lex duri carminis~. Who's that? Robin Chief-de-Ville, hauberkmaker. For having been passed and received master of the said trade! That's his entrance money. He! two gentlemen among these knaves! Aiglet de Soins, Hutin de Mailly Two equerries, ~Corpus Christi~! Ah! they have been playing at dice. When shall I see our rector here? A hundred livres parisian, fine to the king! That Barbedienne strikes like a deaf man,--as he is! I'll be my brother the archdeacon, if that keeps me from gaming; gaming by day, gaming by night, living at play, dying at play, and gaming away my soul after my shirt. Holy Virgin, what damsels! One after the other my lambs. Ambroise Lécuyere, Isabeau la Paynette, Bérarde Gironin! I know them all, by Heavens! A fine! a fine! That's what will teach you to wear gilded girdles! ten sous parisis! you coquettes! Oh! the old snout of a judge! deaf and imbecile! Oh! Florian the dolt! Oh! Barbedienne the blockhead! There he is at the table! He's eating the plaintiff, he's eating the suits, he eats, he chews, he crams, he fills himself. Fines, lost goods, taxes, expenses, loyal charges, salaries, damages, and interests, gehenna, prison, and jail, and fetters with expenses are Christmas spice cake and marchpanes of Saint-John to him! Look at him, the pig!--Come! Good! Another amorous woman! Thibaud-la-Thibaude, neither more nor less! For having come from the Rue Glatigny! What fellow is this? Gieffroy Mabonne, gendarme bearing the crossbow. He has cursed the name of the Father. A fine for la Thibaude! A fine for Gieffroy! A fine for them both! The deaf old fool! he must have mixed up the two cases! Ten to one that he makes the wench pay for the oath and the gendarme for the amour! Attention, Robin Poussepain! What are they going to bring in? Here are many sergeants! By Jupiter! all the bloodhounds of the pack are there. It must be the great beast of the hunt--a wild boar. And 'tis one, Robin, 'tis one. And a fine one too! ~Hercle~! 'tis our prince of yesterday, our Pope of the Fools, our bellringer, our one-eyed man, our hunchback, our grimace! 'Tis Quasimodo!"
It was he indeed.
It was Quasimodo, bound, encircled, roped, pinioned, and under good guard. The squad of policemen who surrounded him was assisted by the chevalier of the watch in person, wearing the arms of France embroidered on his breast, and the arms of the city on his back. There was nothing, however, about Quasimodo, except his deformity, which could justify the display of halberds and arquebuses; he was gloomy, silent, and tranquil. Only now and then did his single eye cast a sly and wrathful glance upon the bonds with which he was loaded.
He cast the same glance about him, but it was so dull and sleepy that the women only pointed him out to each other in derision.
Meanwhile Master Florian, the auditor, turned over attentively the document in the complaint entered against Quasimodo, which the clerk handed him, and, having thus glanced at it, appeared to reflect for a moment. Thanks to this precaution, which he always was careful to take at the moment when on the point of beginning an examination, he knew beforehand the names, titles, and misdeeds of the accused, made cut and dried responses to questions foreseen, and succeeded in extricating himself from all the windings of the interrogation without allowing his deafness to be too apparent. The written charges were to him what the dog is to the blind man. If his deafness did happen to betray him here and there, by some incoherent apostrophe or some unintelligible question, it passed for profundity with some, and for imbecility with others. In neither case did the honor of the magistracy sustain any injury; for it is far better that a judge should be reputed imbecile or profound than deaf. Hence he took great care to conceal his deafness from the eyes of all, and he generally succeeded so well that he had reached the point of deluding himself, which is, by the way, easier than is supposed. All hunchbacks walk with their heads held high, all stutterers harangue, all deaf people speak low. As for him, he believed, at the most, that his ear was a little refractory. It was the sole concession which he made on this point to public opinion, in his moments of frankness and examination of his conscience.
Having, then, thoroughly ruminated Quasimodo's affair, he threw back his head and half closed his eyes, for the sake of more majesty and impartiality, so that, at that moment, he was both deaf and blind. A double condition, without which no judge is perfect. It was in this magisterial attitude that he began the examination.
"Your name?"
Now this was a case which had not been "provided for by law," where a deaf man should be obliged to question a deaf man.
Quasimodo, whom nothing warned that a question had been addressed to him, continued to stare intently at the judge, and made no reply. The judge, being deaf, and being in no way warned of the deafness of the accused, thought that the latter had answered, as all accused do in general, and therefore he pursued, with his mechanical and stupid self-possession,--
"Very well. And your age?"
Again Quasimodo made no reply to this question. The judge supposed that it had been replied to, and continued,--
"Now, your profession?"
Still the same silence. The spectators had begun, meanwhile, to whisper together, and to exchange glances.
"That will do," went on the imperturbable auditor, when he supposed that the accused had finished his third reply. "You are accused before us, ~primo~, of nocturnal disturbance; ~secundo~, of a dishonorable act of violence upon the person of a foolish woman, ~in proejudicium meretricis; tertio~, of rebellion and disloyalty towards the archers of the police of our lord, the king. Explain yourself upon all these points.---Clerk, have you written down what the prisoner has said thus far?"
At this unlucky question, a burst of laughter rose from the clerk's table caught by the audience, so violent, so wild, so contagious, so universal, that the two deaf men were forced to perceive it. Quasimodo turned round, shrugging his hump with disdain, while Master Florian, equally astonished, and supposing that the laughter of the spectators had been provoked by some irreverent reply from the accused, rendered visible to him by that shrug of the shoulders, apostrophized him indignantly,--
"You have uttered a reply, knave, which deserves the halter. Do you know to whom you are speaking?"
This sally was not fitted to arrest the explosion of general merriment. It struck all as so whimsical, and so ridiculous, that the wild laughter even attacked the sergeants of the Parloi- aux-Bourgeois, a sort of pikemen, whose stupidity was part of their uniform. Quasimodo alone preserved his seriousness, for the good reason that he understood nothing of what was going on around him. The judge, more and more irritated, thought it his duty to continue in the same tone, hoping thereby to strike the accused with a terror which should react upon the audience, and bring it back to respect.
"So this is as much as to say, perverse and thieving knave that you are, that you permit yourself to be lacking in respect towards the Auditor of the Chatelet, to the magistrate committed to the popular police of Paris, charged with searching out crimes, delinquencies, and evil conduct; with controlling all trades, and interdicting monopoly; with maintaining the pavements; with debarring the hucksters of chickens, poultry, and water-fowl; of superintending the measuring of fagots and other sorts of wood; of purging the city of mud, and the air of contagious maladies; in a word, with attending continually to public affairs, without wages or hope of salary! Do you know that I am called Florian Barbedienne, actual lieutenant to monsieur the provost, and, moreover, commissioner, inquisitor, controller, and examiner, with equal power in provostship, bailiwick, preservation, and inferior court of judicature?--"
There is no reason why a deaf man talking to a deaf man should stop. God knows where and when Master Florian would have landed, when thus launched at full speed in lofty eloquence, if the low door at the extreme end of the room had not suddenly opened, and given entrance to the provost in person. At his entrance Master Florian did not stop short, but, making a half-turn on his heels, and aiming at the provost the harangue with which he had been withering Quasimodo a moment before,--
"Monseigneur," said he, "I demand such penalty as you shall deem fitting against the prisoner here present, for grave and aggravated offence against the court."
And he seated himself, utterly breathless, wiping away the great drops of sweat which fell from his brow and drenched, like tears, the parchments spread out before him. Messire Robert d'Estouteville frowned and made a gesture so imperious and significant to Quasimodo, that the deaf man in some measure understood it.
The provost addressed him with severity, "What have you done that you have been brought hither, knave?"
The poor fellow, supposing that the provost was asking his name, broke the silence which he habitually preserved, and replied, in a harsh and guttural voice, "Quasimodo."
The reply matched the question so little that the wild laugh began to circulate once more, and Messire Robert exclaimed, red with wrath,--
"Are you mocking me also, you arrant knave?"
"Bellringer of Notre-Dame," replied Quasimodo, supposing that what was required of him was to explain to the judge who he was.
"Bellringer!" interpolated the provost, who had waked up early enough to be in a sufficiently bad temper, as we have said, not to require to have his fury inflamed by such strange responses. "Bellringer! I'll play you a chime of rods on your back through the squares of Paris! Do you hear, knave?"
"If it is my age that you wish to know," said Quasimodo, "I think that I shall be twenty at Saint Martin's day."
This was too much; the provost could no longer restrain himself.
"Ah! you are scoffing at the provostship, wretch! Messieurs the sergeants of the mace, you will take me this knave to the pillory of the Grève, you will flog him, and turn him for an hour. He shall pay me for it, ~tête Dieu~! And I order that the present judgment shall be cried, with the assistance of four sworn trumpeters, in the seven castellanies of the viscomty of Paris."
The clerk set to work incontinently to draw up the account of the sentence.
"~Ventre Dieu~! 'tis well adjudged!" cried the little scholar, Jehan Frollo du Moulin, from his corner.
The provost turned and fixed his flashing eyes once more on Quasimodo. "I believe the knave said '~Ventre Dieu~' Clerk, add twelve deniers Parisian for the oath, and let the vestry of Saint Eustache have the half of it; I have a particular devotion for Saint Eustache."
In a few minutes the sentence was drawn up. Its tenor was simple and brief. The customs of the provostship and the viscomty had not yet been worked over by President Thibaut Baillet, and by Roger Barmne, the king's advocate; they had not been obstructed, at that time, by that lofty hedge of quibbles and procedures, which the two jurisconsults planted there at the beginning of the sixteenth century. All was clear, expeditious, explicit. One went straight to the point then, and at the end of every path there was immediately visible, without thickets and without turnings; the wheel, the gibbet, or the pillory. One at least knew whither one was going.
The clerk presented the sentence to the provost, who affixed his seal to it, and departed to pursue his round of the audience hall, in a frame of mind which seemed destined to fill all the jails in Paris that day. Jehan Frollo and Robin Poussepain laughed in their sleeves. Quasimodo gazed on the whole with an indifferent and astonished air.
However, at the moment when Master Florian Barbedienne was reading the sentence in his turn, before signing it, the clerk felt himself moved with pity for the poor wretch of a prisoner, and, in the hope of obtaining some mitigation of the penalty, he approached as near the auditor's ear as possible, and said, pointing to Quasimodo, "That man is deaf."
He hoped that this community of infirmity would awaken Master Florian's interest in behalf of the condemned man. But, in the first place, we have already observed that Master Florian did not care to have his deafness noticed. In the next place, he was so hard of hearing That he did not catch a single word of what the clerk said to him; nevertheless, he wished to have the appearance of hearing, and replied, "Ah! ah! that is different; I did not know that. An hour more of the pillory, in that case."
And he signed the sentence thus modified.
"'Tis well done," said Robin Poussepain, who cherished a grudge against Quasimodo. "That will teach him to handle people roughly."
在一四八二年，贵人罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔是个相当走运的人物。他是骑士，倍因地方的贵族，芒什省易弗里和圣·安德里两领地的男爵，国王的参事官和侍从官，常任的巴黎总督。大约在十七年之前，在一四六五年，彗星出现的那一年的十一月七日，他就奉上谕担任了巴黎总督这一美缺，那是被看作不仅是一个官职，而且是一个显要的职务的。若阿纳·勒姆纳斯说那是“在处理治安方面具有不小力量并附带许多特权的要职”。一位绅士得到国王的信任，这在一四八二年可是件十分了不起的大事。国王的委任状上写明任期是从路易十一的私生女同波旁的私生子结婚的日期算起。就在罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔代替雅克·德·维耶担任了巴黎总督的同一天，若望·朵威代替艾尔叶·德·多埃特担任了大理院首席议长；若望·雨维纳·代·于尔森取代了比埃尔·德·莫尔维里耶，当上了法兰西司法大臣；勒尼奥· 代·多尔曼排挤掉比埃尔·皮伊，当上了国王宫廷的查案长。自从罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔担任巴黎总督以来，首长们、法官们和主管们更换了不知多少，但他却根据特许状上说的“准予连任”，一直好好地保持着那个职位。他同那个官职贴得多么紧，结合得多么密，合并得多么好啊！他何等巧妙地逃过了路易十一那种喜欢更换臣仆的谋算。路易十一是一位妒嫉、吝啬、勤谨的国王，想用经常任命和撤职的方式来保持他权力的灵活性。此外，这位勇敢的骑士还达到了让儿子继承自己职位的目的，骑士盾手——贵人雅克·代斯杜特维尔，在他的职务旁边扮演京城总督的常任书记长的角色已经有两年了。真是稀罕之至！真是王恩浩荡！罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔的确曾经是一名合格的士兵，他曾经堂皇地对“公共福利同盟”举起过抗议的旗帜。当王后在一四××年来到巴黎的时候，他曾经献给她一只非常出色的蜜饯公鹿。他同国王宫廷的骑士总监特里斯丹·莱尔米特有很好的交情。罗贝尔阁下的境况是非常甜蜜快乐的。首先是有很好的进款，这些进款还附带着总督的民事案与刑事案注册收入，就象他的葡萄园里那些过剩的葡萄一样。他还有沙特雷法庭的民事案和刑事案的收入，曼特桥与果尔倍依桥的无数笔小额税收以及巴黎技术学校的技术费、执照制造费和食盐过秤费。再加上带着骑兵队在城里驰骋的快乐，在穿半红半褐色的袍子的市政官吏中间炫耀他一身精美战袍的快乐，这战袍我们至今还可以从他那诺曼底的瓦尔蒙修道院前坟墓的雕刻上，以及蒙来里他那有凸纹的高顶盔上看到。他还全权管理着沙特雷法庭的十二个执达吏，管理着门房与了望塔，还有沙特雷法庭的两个助理办案员，十六个部门的十六个委员，沙特雷法庭的监狱看守以及四个有封邑的执达吏，一百二十个骑兵，一百二十个权杖手，还有他的夜间巡逻队，他的骑士分队，前卫队与后卫队。这难道不算什么吗？他掌握着高级和初级的审判权，有处理示众、绞刑、拖刑的权利，还没算上宪章里规定的“初级审判权”，即巴黎子爵领地及所属七个封邑的最高司法权。这难道不算什么吗？你能够想象出有什么能比罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔每天在大沙特雷法庭里，在菲立浦·奥古斯特的圆拱下安排和处理事务更快活的事吗？还有什么事情比他惯常在每天黄昏把某些穷鬼打发到“艾斯果侠里街那所小房子”去过夜，然后再到王宫附近加利利街上他妻子昂布瓦斯·德·洛埃夫人管理的可爱的宅第里去解除疲劳更快活的事吗？至于那所小房子，它是“巴黎历任总督和参议员们都愿意当监狱用的，据说是十一呎长，七呎四寸宽，十一呎高”。
罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔阁下不但有巴黎总督和子爵的特别法庭，他还插手国王的最高判决权，没有一个略居高位的人不是先经过他才被交给刽子手的。把纳姆公爵从圣安东尼的巴士底狱提交菜市刑台，把圣·波尔元帅提交格雷沃刑台的就是他，后一位在被押赴刑场的路上愤怒地大喊大叫，对那位陆军元帅不怀好意的总督先生却高兴之极。
真的，为了使生活过得幸福而又声名烜赫，为了有朝一日能在总督们引人入胜的历史中占据醒目的一页，吴达尔·德·维尔纳夫才在肉店大街上有一所房子，居约姆·德·昂加斯特才买下了大小萨瓦府第，居约姆·蒂波才把克洛潘街上的几所房子给了圣热纳维埃夫教堂的教徒们，于格·奥布里奥才住在豪猪大厦，以及诸如此类。
可是，虽然有这么多理由来使生活快乐而丰富多采，罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔阁下在一四八二年一月七日早上醒来的时候，却很不高兴，心情很坏。
哪儿来的这种坏心情呢？连他自己也说不清楚。是不是因为天色阴暗？是不是因为他那蒙来里的旧武装带系得太紧，使他总督大人的胖腰身过分难受？
是不是因为他看见街上有好些他瞧不起的乞丐衣服里面没有衬衫，帽子只剩帽沿，身边挂着讨饭袋和水筒，四个一排从他的窗下走过，引起了他的反感？
是不是他预感到，将来的国王查理八世要在明年的总督薪俸里扣除三百七十里弗十六索尔八德尼埃的数目？任凭读者们去猜想吧，至于我们，我们比较相信他之所以心情不好，仅仅是由于他心情不好。
并且，那正是节日的第二天，那是人人都厌倦的日子，尤其是那些负责清除巴黎在一个节日里所造成的全部垃圾（按其本义和引伸意义来讲）的官吏，何况他还要到大沙特雷法庭去出席审判。可是我们早已发觉，法官们通常都把他们执行审判的日子作为心情不好的日子，以便总能寻出一个人来借国王、法律和审判的名义发泄他们的怒气。
审判没有等他到场就开始了，照例由他的民事法庭、刑事法庭和特别法庭的助手们给他料理一切。打从早上八点起，成群的男女市民就拥挤在沙特雷法庭的一个黑暗角落里，在一个橡木大栅栏和一道墙壁中间，用最愉快的心情，观看着总督阁下的助手，沙特雷法庭预审官孚罗韩·巴尔倍第昂所主持的略为杂乱而又十分随便的民事裁判与刑事审判的各种有趣景象。
审判厅是窄小低矮的圆拱形，尽头处立着一张雕百合花的桌子和一把雕花的橡木圈手椅，那是总督的座位，当时空着。它左边有一张凳子，是预审官孚罗韩坐的。下面是忙碌地书写着的书记官，对面是民众。门前和桌前站着总督的一支卫队，穿着缀有白十字的紫天鹅绒衣服。两名接待室卫士，穿着半红半蓝的粗绒布短上衣，在一道关着的大门前面站岗，从那里可以一直望见桌子后面的厅堂尽头。唯一的尖拱顶窗户紧窄地嵌在厚墙上，一月份的淡弱阳光从窗口射进来，照见两个古怪的形象：拱顶悬垂下来的石刻魔鬼像和坐在厅堂尽头那张雕百合花的桌子前面的法官。
真的，请想象沙特雷法庭预审官孚罗韩·巴尔倍第昂阁下那副尊容吧。
他坐在总督桌子前面两堆案卷当中，两肘支着头，脚遮在棕色呢料袍子的后幅边上，白羊羔皮衣领围住脸孔，眉毛好象锁在一起，眼睛粗鲁地闪动着，衣领神气地托着他两颊的肥肉，那两块肉一直垂到双下巴底下。
而且这位预审官是个聋子，这对于一位预审官不过是轻微的缺点罢了。
孚罗韩阁下的判决是不用上诉的，它总是非常恰如其分。的确，一位预审官只要装出在倾听的样子就行了，这位可敬的预审官是很符合这个条件的——严格审判最为紧要的条件，因此任何声音都打扰不了他。
但是在听审的群众里面，却有一个对他的言语动作相当苛刻的审核者，那就是我们的朋友磨房的若望·孚罗洛，这个昨天的学生，这个游荡鬼，在巴黎到处都看得见他，只是在教授们的坐椅前除外。
“你看，”他低声向同伴罗班·普斯潘说，那个同伴看见眼前展开的景象，正在嘻着嘴笑。“那不是新市场的漂亮懒姑娘让内东·比宋吗？用我的灵魂担保，他会判她的罪呢，那老家伙！他准没长耳朵，也没长眼睛！因为她戴了两串珠子，就罚了她十五索尔另四个德尼埃，罚得太多啦。那个是谁呀？是罗班·谢甫德维尔！就因为他成了手艺工人师傅吗？这可是他的入场费哪！哎！两位强盗绅士，艾格勒·德·苏安，于丹·德·梅里！两位骑士盾手！基督的身子呀！他们赌过骰子呢！在这儿什么时候才看得见我们的校长呀？送给国王一百巴黎里弗的罚金！巴尔倍第昂！他象个聋子似的在那儿敲打！随他去吧！我愿我是我的副主教哥哥，要是那样我就能不去赌博的话！
成天成夜地赌博，活在赌博里，死在赌博里，让我输个精光吧！圣母啊，多少个姑娘！一个跟着一个，漂亮的羔羊们啊！昂布瓦斯·莱居也尔！依莎波·拉·贝奈特！贝拉德·吉霍兰！她们我全都认识。老天作证！出罚款！
出罚款！谁叫你们系着镀金腰带的！罚十个索尔，这些狐狸精！啊，那猴子般的老法官，又聋又蠢！啊，笨蛋孚罗韩！啊，蠢材巴尔倍第昂！他在桌子前面呢！他吃着起诉人，他吃着案件，他大吃大嚼，他胀饱了，他塞满了！
罚金、诉讼费、捐税、损失赔偿费、枷锁费、牢狱费等等，对于他就象是圣诞节的糕饼和圣若望的小杏仁饼一样！看看他呀，看那猪猡！得啦，好！又是一个可爱的女人！是蒂波·拉·蒂波德，一点不错！就因为她是从格拉蒂尼街来的吧！那个小伙子是谁呀？纪埃弗华·马朋，弓箭队里的一个。因为他咒骂上帝啦。出罚款，拉·蒂波德！出罚款，纪埃弗华！两人都得出罚款！
那个聋老头！他把两件事搅混了！他八成会判那姑娘咒骂的罪，判那个兵士淫荡的罪！注意，罗班·普斯潘！他们领进来的是什么人呀？那么多的军警！
大神朱比特作证，他们有一大帮呢。就象一群猎犬似的。来了一头野猪！来了一个，罗班，来了一个！还是一个挺漂亮的呢！天晓得，原来是我们昨天的王子，我们的愚人王，我们的敲钟人，我们的独眼，我们的驼背，我们的丑八怪！原来是伽西莫多！……”
这倒是千真万确的。
那是被捆绑着监视着的伽西莫多，围着他的军警是由候补骑士亲自带领的。骑士穿着胸前绣法兰西纹章背后绣巴黎纹章的衣服，伽西莫多则除了自己的丑陋之外一无所有。单凭这一点就能说明人们为什么箭拔弩张了。他沮丧、安静、不出一声。他只是偶尔对捆着他的绳索愤怒地看上一眼。
他也用同样的眼光向周围望望，但那眼光十分暗淡无光，妇女们指点着他好笑起来。
这时预审官孚罗韩聚精会神地翻阅起控诉伽西莫多的案卷来了，那是书记官呈递上去的。他看了一眼，仿佛考虑了一会。由于审问之前这种照例的准备，使他预先知道了这个犯人的姓名、身份和所犯的罪行，以便他能给某些料想得到的提问预备好解释和答案，使他能避免审问中的疑难之处而不会过分显出他的耳聋。案卷对于他来说，好比一个瞎子有了一条狗做向导。但他那耳聋的缺陷有时被几个不连贯的省略符号或难解的问题泄露出来了。即使遇到这两种某些人觉得很深奥，某些人觉得很笨拙的情况，这位达官的荣誉依旧不会受什么损失。因为，无论法官被人看成是笨拙的还是深奥的，总比被人当作聋子要好得多。所以他特别留神把自己耳朵聋的事实瞒过所有的人，最后连他本人也给瞒住了，而且这比人们所能想象的要容易些。每个驼子都会昂起脑袋，每个口吃的人都喜欢高谈阔论，每个聋子都会说悄悄话。
他呢，他认为自己的耳朵不过有点听不太清楚罢了，而这还只是在他坦白和扪心自问的时候对于公众意见的让步。
他把伽西莫多的案子考虑了一会，便向后仰起脑袋，半闭起眼睛，做出更加威严更加大公无私的样子，这时他就成了又聋又瞎的了。要是没有这两个条件，他还算不得十全十美的法官呢。他就在这个威严的姿态里开始审问起来。
“你的姓名叫什么？”
这真是“法律都预料不到”的一桩怪事：一个聋子竟要来审问另一个聋子。
伽西莫多根本没听见问他的是什么，继续盯住法官不回答。法官是聋子，又毫不明白犯人也是聋子，就认为他已经按照通常审案子的程序回答了自己的问话，于是用死板笨拙的声调继续审问。
“很好。你多大年纪？”
对这个问题伽西莫多也没有回答。法官认为他已经回答了自己的问话，便继续问下去。
“那么，你的职业是什么？”
依旧是同样默不出声。这时听审的人们就互相耳语起来，并且你看看我，我看看你。
“够了，”沉着的预审官以为犯人已经回答了他的第三个问题，就冷静地说道：“你在我们面前是个犯人，因为第一，你在夜间引起了骚扰；第二，你殴打了一个疯女人；第三，你违背和反抗了国王陛下的近卫弓箭队。对于这几点你可以答辩。书记官，你把犯人刚才讲的话记下来没有？”
由于这句倒霉的问话，书记官和听众爆发出一阵哄堂大笑，笑得那样厉害，那样疯狂，那样有感染力，那样普遍，连那两个聋子都觉察到了。伽西莫多轻蔑地耸起驼背转过身去，同他一般惊讶的孚罗韩阁下呢，却以为听众的哄笑是由于犯人的无礼答辩，他看见犯人显然在对他耸肩膀呢。于是他愤怒地责骂道：“恶棍，单凭你这句回答就该判你绞刑！你明白你是在同什么人讲话吗？”
这个斥责并不能阻止人们普遍的笑闹，人们都觉得他的话十分古怪荒谬，因此连接待室的军警都发疯似地大笑起来，那些家伙本来蠢得象扑克牌上的核桃一样。只有伽西莫多默不出声，最大的原因是他根本毫不了解周围发生的事情。愈来愈恼怒的法官认为应该用同样的声调继续审问，希望用这个来迫使犯人畏惧，从而博得听众的尊敬。
“那么就是说，你本是那个邪恶的强盗，竟敢诽谤沙特雷法庭的预审官，诽谤巴黎警察局的行政长官，他是负责调查一切犯罪和违法等恶劣行为的，他管制一切商业，禁止一切专利权，不准贩运家禽野味，他称量各种木材，清除城市里的泥泞和空气中的传染病，保养一切道路。总之，他不断地从事公共福利，却不指望任何报酬！你可知道我的姓名是孚罗韩·巴尔倍第昂，总督大人的私人助理，又是专员、监察员和考查员，同时掌握着审理、判决、谈话以及主持会议等等的权力。”
一个聋子对另一个聋子讲起话来是无法停止的，天知道这个孚罗韩要在什么地方什么时候才会结束他的高谈阔论，要不是他背后那扇矮门忽然打开来的话。巴黎总督大人亲自到场了。
看见他进来，孚罗韩并未突然停止讲话，只是半侧过身去，粗鲁地对总督说明他刚才对伽西莫多发泄的长篇大论。“大人，”他说道，“我请求您立刻判处此地这个犯人公然蔑视审判的罪名。”
他喘着气重新坐好，擦着从额上大颗大颗地往他面前的羊皮纸上滴落的汗珠。罗贝尔·代斯杜特维尔阁下皱了一下眉头，向伽西莫多做了一个傲慢的富于表情的手势，那个聋子似乎有点懂得了他的意思。
总督威风凛凛地向他发问：“强盗，你是犯了什么罪给带到这里来的？”
那可怜的家伙以为总督是在问他的姓名，便打破一直保持的沉默，用一种嘶哑的喉音答道：“伽西莫多。”
这一答话是如此牛头不对马嘴，又引起了哄堂大笑，使罗贝尔阁下胀红了脸大声喊道：“你同我也开起玩笑来了吗？可恶的东西！”
“圣母院的好敲钟人，”伽西莫多答道，他以为应该回答法官自己是干什么的了。
“敲钟人！”总督说。我们已经指出过，他一早醒来就心情不好，他的怒火倒不一定要如此奇怪的回答才能挑动。“敲钟人！我要在巴黎的各十字路口，用成捆的细皮条抽你的脊梁。强盗，听见了吗？”
“要是您想知道我的年纪，”伽西莫多答道，“我想，到圣马丁节我就该满二十岁了。”
这个打击太厉害啦，总督不能忍受了。
“啊，你挖苦起总督来了，你这强盗！武装的军警先生们，你们把这家伙带到格雷沃广场的刑台上去，给我鞭打一顿，让他示众一个钟头！好哇，他要向我付出代价的！我希望把这个判决用四只大喇叭传达到巴黎子爵的七座城堡去！”
书记官急忙把判决记下来。
“上帝的肚皮呀！这就算判得挺不错了！”磨房的若望·孚罗洛在那个角落里嚷道。
总督又回过头来，重新把闪亮的眼睛盯在伽西莫多身上说：“我相信这家伙说了‘上帝的肚皮呀！’书记官，在判决上增加十二个巴黎德尼埃的罚款，并且把其中六个德尼埃捐送圣厄斯达谢教区财物委员会。我对圣厄斯达谢是特别虔诚的。”
判决书在几分钟内就写好了。全文简短扼要。巴黎总督和子爵的实施法并没有经过蒂波·巴耶议长和国王的律师何吉·巴尔纳的修正。它当时并没有受到那两位法学家在十六世纪初期提倡的诉讼程序那座大森林的阻挡。其中一切都是明确的、清楚的、敏捷的，人们可以从那儿笔直地向目的地走去，很快就能在每条路的尽头看见轮盘、绞刑架和刑台。人们至少知道自己是走向何处。
书记官把判决书呈递给总督，总督盖了大印，便走出去到听审的群众中间转了几转，心里恨不得当天就把巴黎所有的监牢都装满人。若望·孚罗洛和罗班·普斯潘偷偷地发笑，伽西莫多用惊讶而冷淡的神情看着一切。
正在孚罗韩·巴尔倍第昂阁下朗读判决书准备签名的当儿，书记官忽然受了感动，怜悯起那被判罪的可怜鬼来了，希望能减轻他的罪状，便凑到预审官的耳边，指着伽西莫多告诉他说：“这人是个聋子。”
他以为这个同样的残疾会引起孚罗韩的同情，使他对那个犯人开恩。可是首先，正如我们说过的，孚罗韩并没有想到别人会猜到他的残疾；其次，他聋到这种地步，书记官的话他连一个字也没听见。然而他却装出听明白了的样子，回答道：“啊！啊！那就不同了。我还不知道这回事呢。既然是这样，就应该让他多示众一个钟头。”
于是他就在这样改动过的判决书上签了字。
“干得好！”罗班·普斯潘替伽西莫多抱屈说，“这就能教会他以后怎样去虐待别人了！”