Jun never forgave himself for not having done more. He hadn’t seen Shisui in days. He had been worried, but he didn’t do anything about it. Like always, he thought he had time, more time, and didn’t act when he could. It was too late now. His friend was gone. The teenager was going to suffer, but he hadn’t thought it would be like this.
It wasn’t the heartbreaking pain he had felt at his father’s death. It was like a noose around his throat, like acid eating away at his insides. He cried. He cried at the slightest echo of his presence, at the slightest memory of his disappearance. He knew it would pass but that didn’t make the pain any less cruel.
The Uchihas were investigating. Their morale had taken a hit. All of Jun’s friends seemed to be walking on eggshells around him. They hadn’t expected his grief to be so severe. But it was more than simple grief; it was also guilt and rage. He could have saved Shisui, but he let him die. He knew his fate but decided to be a simple spectator. It was his fault. Was his suicide the result of Danzo gouging out his eyes or his helplessness in the face of the Uchiha clan’s determination to act? The teenager didn’t know. All he knew was that his friend must have felt lonely. He had died alone, unhappy and thinking that he was abandoned.
Jun’s sixteenth birthday came. He had no desire to celebrate. Karin was also affected by his grief. She was frantically trying to distract and console him, but she had no idea how. The girl bought him sweets, ramen, and books. She even brought Neji with her a couple of times to see if the Hyuga would have a better chance of cheering Jun on. Izumi spent a few days in the apartment with them.
The teenager was touched by their gesture. Everyone was trying to comfort him in their own way. Iruka came by to see him, clumsy in his compassion and worried for him. Yugao also visited as did Susumu, Natsumi, and even Gai. Kanna and Miyamoto went with him to put some flowers on Shisui’s grave.
The cemetery was on the edge of the Uchiha district, and they felt out of place there. They were three strangers not wearing the clan symbol. There was at least one Uchiha openly staring at them suspiciously. Miyamoto was silent in his grief, like Jun. But Kanna seemed to vibrate with explosive anger, staring down any Uchiha who glared at her.
They both probably felt guilty too. Shisui had been their friend as well. They hadn’t seen it coming. The signs were there, but they didn’t pay attention. And now they had to deal with the result, their friend’s death.
Jun was expecting to hear news of Danzo’s death in the following days. But the man was still alive and still plotting against the Uchihas. Had he found the seal on Shisui’s eye? Did he not steal it? Maybe he hadn’t used the eye yet. In any case, Danzo was still breathing. Jun had used his friend, lied to him, and manipulated him to take Danzo down with him. But it was all for nothing. His guilt intensified.
At work, Shikaku cautiously asked him if he had had any suspicions, doubts, or worries. Jun was tempted to answer truthfully for a second. He wanted to spill out everything he knew. And then what? It wouldn’t bring Shisui back. The teenager simply informed the Nara that the Uchiha clan had been putting too much pressure on Shisui. The jonin commander didn’t insist. There were already rumors of Itachi being responsible for the death.
Itachi… His grief must have been worse than his. Shisui was his only friend, a brother figure, and his mentor. He was all alone now. And the worse thing was that people accused him of being the murderer. However, Jun didn’t feel like he had the strength to offer him any comfort.
Time went by. Jun was slowly healing. He carried out missions. He learned once again to live with the pain and guilt. It was as if the rays of the sun were finally breaking through the clouds. The pain was still there, but he could bear it. He had been stupid. He had wasted precious time.
The teenager sometimes went to the training ground he once used with Shisui. It was barely used, with its steep cliff marking its limit. Kanna and Miyamoto also came there, but more rarely. They had their own lives and responsibilities. Everyone handled their pain differently. Miyamoto didn’t talk about it. Kanna was easily irritable and borderline aggressive.
Jun stared at the view from the cliff. The Nakano River flowed below in a narrow canyon, fed by a waterfall. It was a beautiful landscape. It was in this river that Shisui had committed the act according to the rumors. Jun didn’t understand why he had chosen this place where they had many good memories to end his life.
Well, there would be no more good times now. It had been a few weeks since Shisui’s death. If the latter had hoped that his suicide would calm things, he was wrong. The tensions worsened. The clan was losing prestige. The fact that they were accusing one of their own, Itachi, to be behind it didn’t help. The Uchihas felt trapped, offended and furious.
With time, he realized that Shisui wasn't alone. He had friends and comrades he could have turned to. His world wasn’t limited to the Uchiha clan. His friends should have seen what was happening to him, the pressure he was under… But in the end, Shisui made his own decision. Whatever his reason, he had made his choice. He may have been pushed by the clan or Danzo. But he had other options and made his choice.
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Jun and Karin went to visit his mother at home. She came from work late that night with a forced smile. She must have been busy at work. But the happy atmosphere of the house seemed to help her relax. Neji was present as well. They all ate together and made small talk.
“Will Kazuma enter the Academy next term? He will be five years old soon.” Neji suddenly asked.
“And he’s smarter than most kids already at the Academy. He could even skip a class.” Karin added as if they rehearsed their speech.
There was silence. It seemed like no one had thought about it. Jun opened his mouth, then closed it. It wasn’t his decision to make… He turned to their mother. She looked hesitant before slowly putting her chopsticks down.
“There is no rush. Most children enter the Academy at six or seven now.”
“But I can do it! I write as well as Karin, and I can read. I know the history of Konoha and what chakra is. I can feel it too. And Neji started showing me Taijutsu.” Kazuma exclaimed.
All eyes turned to Neji, who stiffened.
“Only the basics they teach at the Academy… It’s just for self-defense. I didn’t teach him the Gentle Fist.”
No one had told Kazuma he was Hizashi’s Hyuga’s son. Kazuma was still a gullible toddler when Neji joined the family, so he never questioned it. He had never asked any questions about it. But things may change if he started learning the Gentle Fist. Their mother sighed. Jun understood her weariness. Telling Kazuma about his father would definitely be an awkward conversation. It was going to change Kazuma’s look on the Hyugas and Neji.
“We’ll see when he turns five. But if you know how to read and write and already have a basic knowledge of chakra, then yes… probably.” Hazuki said.
The three children let out a triumphant cry. Jun sighed. Kazuma would probably advance a class or two in a few months. At one time, Jun would have panicked at this idea. He would have tried to delay his advancement at all costs because of his desire to protect him. However, letting Izumi become a genin had taught him that sometimes you must let others stand on their own two feet. They cannot be sheltered forever.
“Do you know what will help you, Kazuma? You should start doing the same stretches as Izumi.” Jun said in a happy tone.
His little brother looked absolutely terrified at the thought of touching his knees with his forehead or doing a handstand with one hand. The rest of the family laughed at his facial expression.