"Cough, Cough. Is this it?" I said while lying motionless on the cold and hard concrete, the warm sunlight shining upon my bloodied body.
Looking at the sky, I could see white and fluffy clouds moving slowly, unbothered by whatever drama could be happening beneath them.
"Damn," I cursed, I was unwilling to go like this. Who would be willing to? It was too unfair. Even for me who had once given up on life.
"Mister, please hang on. Help will come soon. Stay with me, please! Please!" I heard a sweet voice filled with concern say beside me.
'I would like to, but I don't think it is possible,' I thought, a bitter smile stretching my lips. I already knew I wouldn't be able to make it, I was screwed good, too broken for even the most talented surgeon.
My consciousness was barely hanging, and my thoughts already started to turn blurry. Slowly but surely, I started drifting towards the darkness when a hand suddenly caught mine and a warm liquid fell on it.
'Uh!'
"Sob, Sob. Mister, please…." Tearing up, the girl sitting beside me suddenly caught my hand.
'Oh, she is crying for me, what a nice girl. Who is it? Is it someone who knows me?' I thought, a warm feeling spreading in my heart. That feeling was nice, very, and it was certainly better than the coldness and pain that were assaulting my body.
Mustering the little strength remaining in my body I turned my head towards her.
'Oh, so it's her. Nice! At least she is alright. My death wouldn't be completely worthless at least. Maybe she would find the cure to cancer, hehe,' I thought when I saw the face of the girl beside me. It was the girl I was trying to….no, the girl I saved.
"Have a good life. And please be careful from now on, I won't be there the next time. Also, tell mom I love her and I'm so...r…. r…." I said in a last burst of clarity, the last part stretching into a whisper.
"No, no, don't say that. Sob...Help is already there. Sob, sob...." she panicked and unconsciously tightened the grip on my hand.
Indeed, I could hear it, the blaring horn of the ambulance rushing towards here. It was loud, as loud, and clear as the chatter of the crowd surrounding me and watching me.
Alas…. It was too late.
She was here.
Lady death.
Shrouded in a cloak of darkness she slowly floated towards me and planted a, surprisingly, warm kiss on my lips, taking with her my last kiss and breath.
"No, please.," the girl whispered as I closed my eyes.
Cold!
Dark!
Those were my first thoughts when I looked at my surroundings. I was floating in the middle of a dark and cold space. I was unable to move, heck I couldn't even feel my body, all I could do was think.
'Where am I? Is this what it looks like after death or the afterlife?' I asked myself, looking at the darkness in front of me and trying to pierce through it. Unfortunately, no matter how much I tried, I was unable to see anything, there was nothing to see.
'Or maybe I am in a coma?' I speculated with a little hope. I was not trying to deny reality, but from what little things I read in my life I wasn't expecting death to be so dark.
Well, death was always associated with that color, but hell was supposed to be a little redder and hotter, no? Huh!? Why was I expecting to end in hell? I always knew that if there was a place one would go to after death, I would be going to hell. I killed my sister after all. So, how could I expect anything else?
However, the most unexpected thing for me was that I could still think normally, and I didn't lose my sense of self. My situation was unlike anything I ever expected death to be. This fuelled my hope that I could still be alive.
'Sigh. I wonder what the best situation would be for me? Being dead or being in a coma? Whatever it is, I'm not sure how long I would be able to hang on in this place with how claustrophobic I'm already feeling.'
'How would that girl be doing?' I muttered, thinking about the girl that I saved.
'Hope she would live a better life than I did,' I thought as I started recalling the event that led me to this place.
***
Ring…...Ring...Ring.
"Damn it…. Shut up already," I said, grabbed my phone, and stopped the alarm that woke me up from my not-so-sweet dream. Dragging my quilt, I buried myself in the bed and resumed my sleep.
Ring…. Ring...Ring
A moment later, my phone alarm started to ring with renewed vigor and once again interrupted my sleep.
Letting out a sigh I stopped my alarm and left my bed.
I would have loved to go back to my sleep, but I knew there was no escaping today. I had already done that for a year. Escape again and again and….
I knew I couldn't continue to lead such a life. If not for myself, I should at least do it for my mother. No matter how unfilial I was, I couldn't continue to disappoint her.
She has suffered enough like this. Losing her only daughter and having to watch her son live like an empty shell for an entire year. I knew I had to make it up for her and that would start today.
Today was a new beginning for me. For us.
I would finally return to school after dropping out for a year. It would be the first time since the accident and my discharge that I would step outside.
"So, it is today uh," I muttered as I slowly made my way towards the bathroom. There, I took a quick bath, gave myself a quick haircut, and after wearing my clothes headed downstairs.
"Morning, mom," I said when I reached the kitchen.
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"Morning, honey. How are you feeling? " Mom asked me with a smile.
"Good, I think," I replied.
"I am glad you are finally moving forward. Look at how handsome you are," She said as she came towards me and suddenly hugged me.
Handsome? I may have agreed with her a year ago, but now I was not too sure.
Before, I was a heartthrob for many girls in my school. My tall and athletic body. My olive and tanned skin. My beautiful gray eyes inherited from my mother. And that handsome face of mine that gave many guys an urge to punch me, I knew that because someone once said it to me. Wonder how that guy is doing now.
Everything about me was certainly worthy of being called handsome.
But now, while my figure hasn't changed that much, the gloomy air surrounding me was thick enough to hide anything good about my look.
Well, not like I couldn't understand her. It has been a year since she saw me so clean and in proper clothes. For the past year, most of the time she saw me I would be in a disheveled state and pajamas, and the gloom around me was at least ten times thicker than today.
"Now, come and eat your breakfast?" mom said as she let me go from her hug and dragged me towards the table where a rich and delicious-looking breakfast was waiting for me.
"Thanks, mom," I said before diving into the plate of eggs and bacon in front of me.
" Haha, eat slowly. You still have some time."
"Mmm," I nodded and took a sip of orange juice.
"Say, you are sure you don't want me to bring you to school," Mom asked me.
"Mom, don't worry. I don't want to bother you more than necessary. I know you have many things you need to take care of."
"But it doesn't bother me. Nothing I will ever do for you would be a bother for me," Mom said while stroking my hair.
"I know mom but just take it as me being selfish…. once again," I said with a bitter smile.
"Fine," She said, giving up.
Oh, it was easier than I thought. Guess she didn't want me to change my mind if we start arguing.
Afterward, she quietly watched me finish my breakfast.
"Thank you, mom. It was delicious," I said as I finished my breakfast.
"Hmm. Goodbye. Have a good day, Leo," Mom said, hugging me once again.
"Thanks, mom. You too, have a good day," I said and slowly walked away from our house. It was the first time I would be going out after the accident.
When I stepped out, I could feel a light breeze and the warm morning sun on my body. I could feel my skin tingling a little from being exposed to the sun after such a long time, but I couldn't say that I was disliking the feeling. Turning towards my house I waved at my smiling mom and went on my way.
As I walked towards my school, I didn't know whether it was consciously or unconsciously, but I kept taking the longest way. It was as if I was trying to delay something.
I could have reached my school in 15 minutes if I had taken the normal way, but I had already walked 15 minutes and was nowhere near it.
'Sigh, I should stop this, or I would end up getting late,' I thought as I stopped in front of a crosswalk and looked at the time on my watch.
"Hey!!" I exclaimed. When I lifted my head, I saw a girl that looked my age carelessly cross the road while the traffic light was green. There was a headset on her head, and her whole focus was on her phone.
Honestly, the thought of trying to save her never crossed my mind. After all, she was the one at fault here. And there was close to no chance that I could do it. I would end up wasting my life too.
I had read enough novels to know how those kinds of things end. I wasn't feeling like a Japanese MC today.
'Shit, will my day start so badly?' I cursed in my mind, looking at the pick-up truck that was rushing towards the girl.
However, when I looked at the girl once again, time seemed to slow down, and in her place was none other than my sister.
Frozen, in shock, I looked at her, unable to understand whatever was happening at the moment.
"You are going to watch me die once again," she muttered while looking at me with resentment.
"How!? NO," I roared, a determined and crazed light shining in my eyes.
The next moment, as if something had taken over my body, I suddenly rushed forward and before I or anyone could react, I had already reached the girl and pushed her from harm's way.
I was once an athlete, but my body was already rusty after a year without practice. I couldn't understand how I was able to cross such a distance like that. In a flash! Unfortunately, I was unable to repeat whatever prowess allowed me to do it, and all I could do was helplessly watch the truck come closer and closer and...
SCREECH...…...BANG…. THUD
"Shit, I survived our first encounter but it seems like you won't miss me this time," I said as the truck hit me and sent me flying like a broken doll.
***
'Sigh, now that I think about it, there was definitely some foul play involved in this,' I thought as I continued to stare into the darkness in front of me.
I had no idea how long I stayed in that place but after what seemed like an eternity and just as I was about to let the darkness around me devour me, I felt a change.
Light, it was light. For the first time since coming here, I was seeing light.