"I have no wit, Nastasia Philipovna," began Ferdishenko, "and therefore I talk too much, perhaps. Were I as witty, now, as Mr. Totski or the general, I should probably have sat silent all the evening, as they have. Now, prince, what do you think?--are there not far more thieves than honest men in this world? Don't you think we may say there does not exist a single person so honest that he has never stolen anything whatever in his life?"
"What a silly idea," said the actress. "Of course it is not the case. I have never stolen anything, for one."
"H'm! very well, Daria Alexeyevna; you have not stolen anything-- agreed. But how about the prince, now--look how he is blushing!"
"I think you are partially right, but you exaggerate," said the prince, who had certainly blushed up, of a sudden, for some reason or other.
"Ferdishenko--either tell us your story, or be quiet, and mind your own business. You exhaust all patience," cuttingly and irritably remarked Nastasia Philipovna.
"Immediately, immediately! As for my story, gentlemen, it is too stupid and absurd to tell you.
"I assure you I am not a thief, and yet I have stolen; I cannot explain why. It was at Semeon Ivanovitch Ishenka's country house, one Sunday. He had a dinner party. After dinner the men stayed at the table over their wine. It struck me to ask the daughter of the house to play something on the piano; so I passed through the corner room to join the ladies. In that room, on Maria Ivanovna's writing-table, I observed a three-rouble note. She must have taken it out for some purpose, and left it lying there. There was no one about. I took up the note and put it in my pocket; why, I can't say. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but it was done, and I went quickly back to the dining-room and reseated myself at the dinner-table. I sat and waited there in a great state of excitement. I talked hard, and told lots of stories, and laughed like mad; then I joined the ladies.
"In half an hour or so the loss was discovered, and the servants were being put under examination. Daria, the housemaid was suspected. I exhibited the greatest interest and sympathy, and I remember that poor Daria quite lost her head, and that I began assuring her, before everyone, that I would guarantee her forgiveness on the part of her mistress, if she would confess her guilt. They all stared at the girl, and I remember a wonderful attraction in the reflection that here was I sermonizing away, with the money in my own pocket all the while. I went and spent the three roubles that very evening at a restaurant. I went in and asked for a bottle of Lafite, and drank it up; I wanted to be rid of the money.
"I did not feel much remorse either then or afterwards; but I would not repeat the performance--believe it or not as you please. There--that's all."
"Only, of course that's not nearly your worst action," said the actress, with evident dislike in her face.
"That was a psychological phenomenon, not an action," remarked Totski.
"And what about the maid?" asked Nastasia Philipovna, with undisguised contempt.
"Oh, she was turned out next day, of course. It's a very strict household, there!"
"And you allowed it?"
"I should think so, rather! I was not going to return and confess next day," laughed Ferdishenko, who seemed a little surprised at the disagreeable impression which his story had made on all parties.
"How mean you were!" said Nastasia.
"Bah! you wish to hear a man tell of his worst actions, and you expect the story to come out goody-goody! One's worst actions always are mean. We shall see what the general has to say for himself now. All is not gold that glitters, you know; and because a man keeps his carriage he need not be specially virtuous, I assure you, all sorts of people keep carriages. And by what means?"
In a word, Ferdishenko was very angry and rapidly forgetting himself; his whole face was drawn with passion. Strange as it may appear, he had expected much better success for his story. These little errors of taste on Ferdishenko's part occurred very frequently. Nastasia trembled with rage, and looked fixedly at him, whereupon he relapsed into alarmed silence. He realized that he had gone a little too far.
"Had we not better end this game?" asked Totski.
"It's my turn, but I plead exemption," said Ptitsin.
"You don't care to oblige us?" asked Nastasia.
"I cannot, I assure you. I confess I do not understand how anyone can play this game."
"Then, general, it's your turn," continued Nastasia Philipovna, "and if you refuse, the whole game will fall through, which will disappoint me very much, for I was looking forward to relating a certain 'page of my own life.' I am only waiting for you and Afanasy Ivanovitch to have your turns, for I require the support of your example," she added, smiling.
"Oh, if you put it in that way " cried the general, excitedly, "I'm ready to tell the whole story of my life, but I must confess that I prepared a little story in anticipation of my turn."
Nastasia smiled amiably at him; but evidently her depression and irritability were increasing with every moment. Totski was dreadfully alarmed to hear her promise a revelation out of her own life.
"I, like everyone else," began the general, "have committed certain not altogether graceful actions, so to speak, during the course of my life. But the strangest thing of all in my case is, that I should consider the little anecdote which I am now about to give you as a confession of the worst of my 'bad actions.' It is thirty-five years since it all happened, and yet I cannot to this very day recall the circumstances without, as it were, a sudden pang at the heart.
"It was a silly affair--I was an ensign at the time. You know ensigns--their blood is boiling water, their circumstances generally penurious. Well, I had a servant Nikifor who used to do everything for me in my quarters, economized and managed for me, and even laid hands on anything he could find (belonging to other people), in order to augment our household goods; but a faithful, honest fellow all the same.
"I was strict, but just by nature. At that time we were stationed in a small town. I was quartered at an old widow's house, a lieutenant's widow of eighty years of age. She lived in a wretched little wooden house, and had not even a servant, so poor was she.
"Her relations had all died off--her husband was dead and buried forty years since; and a niece, who had lived with her and bullied her up to three years ago, was dead too; so that she was quite alone.
"Well, I was precious dull with her, especially as she was so childish that there was nothing to be got out of her. Eventually, she stole a fowl of mine; the business is a mystery to this day; but it could have been no one but herself. I requested to be quartered somewhere else, and was shifted to the other end of the town, to the house of a merchant with a large family, and a long beard, as I remember him. Nikifor and I were delighted to go; but the old lady was not pleased at our departure.
"Well, a day or two afterwards, when I returned from drill, Nikifor says to me: 'We oughtn't to have left our tureen with the old lady, I've nothing to serve the soup in.'
"I asked how it came about that the tureen had been left. Nikifor explained that the old lady refused to give it up, because, she said, we had broken her bowl, and she must have our tureen in place of it; she had declared that I had so arranged the matter with herself.
"This baseness on her part of course aroused my young blood to fever heat; I jumped up, and away I flew.
"I arrived at the old woman's house beside myself. She was sitting in a corner all alone, leaning her face on her hand. I fell on her like a clap of thunder. 'You old wretch!' I yelled and all that sort of thing, in real Russian style. Well, when I began cursing at her, a strange thing happened. I looked at her, and she stared back with her eyes starting out of her head, but she did not say a word. She seemed to sway about as she sat, and looked and looked at me in the strangest way. Well, I soon stopped swearing and looked closer at her, asked her questions, but not a word could I get out of her. The flies were buzzing about the room and only this sound broke the silence; the sun was setting outside; I didn't know what to make of it, so I went away.
"Before I reached home I was met and summoned to the major's, so that it was some while before I actually got there. When I came in, Nikifor met me. 'Have you heard, sir, that our old lady is dead?' 'DEAD, when?' 'Oh, an hour and a half ago.' That meant nothing more nor less than that she was dying at the moment when I pounced on her and began abusing her.
"This produced a great effect upon me. I used to dream of the poor old woman at nights. I really am not superstitious, but two days after, I went to her funeral, and as time went on I thought more and more about her. I said to myself, 'This woman, this human being, lived to a great age. She had children, a husband and family, friends and relations; her household was busy and cheerful; she was surrounded by smiling faces; and then suddenly they are gone, and she is left alone like a solitary fly ... like a fly, cursed with the burden of her age. At last, God calls her to Himself. At sunset, on a lovely summer's evening, my little old woman passes away--a thought, you will notice, which offers much food for reflection--and behold! instead of tears and prayers to start her on her last journey, she has insults and jeers from a young ensign, who stands before her with his hands in his pockets, making a terrible row about a soup tureen!' Of course I was to blame, and even now that I have time to look back at it calmly, I pity the poor old thing no less. I repeat that I wonder at myself, for after all I was not really responsible. Why did she take it into her head to die at that moment? But the more I thought of it, the more I felt the weight of it upon my mind; and I never got quite rid of the impression until I put a couple of old women into an almshouse and kept them there at my own expense. There, that's all. I repeat I dare say I have committed many a grievous sin in my day; but I cannot help always looking back upon this as the worst action I have ever perpetrated."
"H'm! and instead of a bad action, your excellency has detailed one of your noblest deeds," said Ferdishenko. "Ferdishenko is 'done.'"
"Dear me, general," said Nastasia Philipovna, absently, "I really never imagined you had such a good heart."
The general laughed with great satisfaction, and applied himself once more to the champagne.
It was now Totski's turn, and his story was awaited with great curiosity--while all eyes turned on Nastasia Philipovna, as though anticipating that his revelation must be connected somehow with her. Nastasia, during the whole of his story, pulled at the lace trimming of her sleeve, and never once glanced at the speaker. Totski was a handsome man, rather stout, with a very polite and dignified manner. He was always well dressed, and his linen was exquisite. He had plump white hands, and wore a magnificent diamond ring on one finger.
"What simplifies the duty before me considerably, in my opinion," he began, "is that I am bound to recall and relate the very worst action of my life. In such circumstances there can, of course, be no doubt. One's conscience very soon informs one what is the proper narrative to tell. I admit, that among the many silly and thoughtless actions of my life, the memory of one comes prominently forward and reminds me that it lay long like a stone on my heart. Some twenty years since, I paid a visit to Platon Ordintzeff at his country-house. He had just been elected marshal of the nobility, and had come there with his young wife for the winter holidays. Anfisa Alexeyevna's birthday came off just then, too, and there were two balls arranged. At that time Dumas-fils' beautiful work, La Dame aux Camelias--a novel which I consider imperishable--had just come into fashion. In the provinces all the ladies were in raptures over it, those who had read it, at least. Camellias were all the fashion. Everyone inquired for them, everybody wanted them; and a grand lot of camellias are to be got in a country town--as you all know--and two balls to provide for!
"Poor Peter Volhofskoi was desperately in love with Anfisa Alexeyevna. I don't know whether there was anything--I mean I don't know whether he could possibly have indulged in any hope. The poor fellow was beside himself to get her a bouquet of camellias. Countess Sotski and Sophia Bespalova, as everyone knew, were coming with white camellia bouquets. Anfisa wished for red ones, for effect. Well, her husband Platon was driven desperate to find some. And the day before the ball, Anfisa's rival snapped up the only red camellias to be had in the place, from under Platon's nose, and Platon--wretched man--was done for. Now if Peter had only been able to step in at this moment with a red bouquet, his little hopes might have made gigantic strides. A woman's gratitude under such circumstances would have been boundless--but it was practically an impossibility.
"The night before the ball I met Peter, looking radiant. 'What is it?' I ask. 'I've found them, Eureka!" 'No! where, where?' 'At Ekshaisk (a little town fifteen miles off) there's a rich old merchant, who keeps a lot of canaries, has no children, and he and his wife are devoted to flowers. He's got some camellias.' 'And what if he won't let you have them?' 'I'll go on my knees and implore till I get them. I won't go away.' 'When shall you start?' 'Tomorrow morning at five o'clock.' 'Go on,' I said, 'and good luck to you.'
"I was glad for the poor fellow, and went home. But an idea got hold of me somehow. I don't know how. It was nearly two in the morning. I rang the bell and ordered the coachman to be waked up and sent to me. He came. I gave him a tip of fifteen roubles, and told him to get the carriage ready at once. In half an hour it was at the door. I got in and off we went.
"By five I drew up at the Ekshaisky inn. I waited there till dawn, and soon after six I was off, and at the old merchant Trepalaf's.
"'Camellias!' I said, 'father, save me, save me, let me have some camellias!' He was a tall, grey old man--a terrible-looking old gentleman. 'Not a bit of it,' he says. 'I won't.' Down I went on my knees. 'Don't say so, don't--think what you're doing!' I cried; 'it's a matter of life and death!' 'If that's the case, take them,' says he. So up I get, and cut such a bouquet of red camellias! He had a whole greenhouse full of them--lovely ones. The old fellow sighs. I pull out a hundred roubles. 'No, no!' says he, 'don't insult me that way.' 'Oh, if that's the case, give it to the village hospital,' I say. 'Ah,' he says, 'that's quite a different matter; that's good of you and generous. I'll pay it in there for you with pleasure.' I liked that old fellow, Russian to the core, de la vraie souche. I went home in raptures, but took another road in order to avoid Peter. Immediately on arriving I sent up the bouquet for Anfisa to see when she awoke.
"You may imagine her ecstasy, her gratitude. The wretched Platon, who had almost died since yesterday of the reproaches showered upon him, wept on my shoulder. Of course poor Peter had no chance after this.
"I thought he would cut my throat at first, and went about armed ready to meet him. But he took it differently; he fainted, and had brain fever and convulsions. A month after, when he had hardly recovered, he went off to the Crimea, and there he was shot.
"I assure you this business left me no peace for many a long year. Why did I do it? I was not in love with her myself; I'm afraid it was simply mischief--pure 'cussedness' on my part.
"If I hadn't seized that bouquet from under his nose he might have been alive now, and a happy man. He might have been successful in life, and never have gone to fight the Turks."
Totski ended his tale with the same dignity that had characterized its commencement.
Nastasia Philipovna's eyes were flashing in a most unmistakable way, now; and her lips were all a-quiver by the time Totski finished his story.
All present watched both of them with curiosity.
"You were right, Totski," said Nastasia, "it is a dull game and a stupid one. I'll just tell my story, as I promised, and then we'll play cards."
"Yes, but let's have the story first!" cried the general.
"Prince," said Nastasia Philipovna, unexpectedly turning to Muishkin, "here are my old friends, Totski and General Epanchin, who wish to marry me off. Tell me what you think. Shall I marry or not? As you decide, so shall it be."
Totski grew white as a sheet. The general was struck dumb. All present started and listened intently. Gania sat rooted to his chair.
"Marry whom?" asked the prince, faintly.
"Gavrila Ardalionovitch Ivolgin," said Nastasia, firmly and evenly.
There were a few seconds of dead silence.
The prince tried to speak, but could not form his words; a great weight seemed to lie upon his breast and suffocate him.
"N-no! don't marry him!" he whispered at last, drawing his breath with an effort.
"So be it, then. Gavrila Ardalionovitch," she spoke solemnly and forcibly, "you hear the prince's decision? Take it as my decision; and let that be the end of the matter for good and all."
"Nastasia Philipovna!" cried Totski, in a quaking voice.
"Nastasia Philipovna!" said the general, in persuasive but agitated tones.
Everyone in the room fidgeted in their places, and waited to see what was coming next.
"Well, gentlemen!" she continued, gazing around in apparent astonishment; "what do you all look so alarmed about? Why are you so upset?"
"But--recollect, Nastasia Philipovna." stammered Totski, "you gave a promise, quite a free one, and--and you might have spared us this. I am confused and bewildered, I know; but, in a word, at such a moment, and before company, and all so-so-irregular, finishing off a game with a serious matter like this, a matter of honour, and of heart, and--"
"I don't follow you, Afanasy Ivanovitch; you are losing your head. In the first place, what do you mean by 'before company'? Isn't the company good enough for you? And what's all that about 'a game'? I wished to tell my little story, and I told it! Don't you like it? You heard what I said to the prince? 'As you decide, so it shall be!' If he had said 'yes,' I should have given my consent! But he said 'no,' so I refused. Here was my whole life hanging on his one word! Surely I was serious enough?"
"The prince! What on earth has the prince got to do with it? Who the deuce is the prince?" cried the general, who could conceal his wrath no longer.
"The prince has this to do with it--that I see in him. for the first time in all my life, a man endowed with real truthfulness of spirit, and I trust him. He trusted me at first sight, and I trust him!"
"It only remains for me, then, to thank Nastasia Philipovna for the great delicacy with which she has treated me," said Gania, as pale as death, and with quivering lips. "That is my plain duty, of course; but the prince--what has he to do in the matter?"
"I see what you are driving at," said Nastasia Philipovna. "You imply that the prince is after the seventy-five thousand roubles --I quite understand you. Mr. Totski, I forgot to say, 'Take your seventy-five thousand roubles'--I don't want them. I let you go free for nothing take your freedom! You must need it. Nine years and three months' captivity is enough for anybody. Tomorrow I shall start afresh--today I am a free agent for the first time in my life.
"General, you must take your pearls back, too--give them to your wife--here they are! Tomorrow I shall leave this flat altogether, and then there'll be no more of these pleasant little social gatherings, ladies and gentlemen."
So saying, she scornfully rose from her seat as though to depart.
"Nastasia Philipovna! Nastasia Philipovna!"
The words burst involuntarily from every mouth. All present started up in bewildered excitement; all surrounded her; all had listened uneasily to her wild, disconnected sentences. All felt that something had happened, something had gone very far wrong indeed, but no one could make head or tail of the matter.
At this moment there was a furious ring at the bell, and a great knock at the door--exactly similar to the one which had startled the company at Gania's house in the afternoon.
"Ah, ah! here's the climax at last, at half-past twelve!" cried Nastasia Philipovna. "Sit down, gentlemen, I beg you. Something is about to happen."
So saying, she reseated herself; a strange smile played on her lips. She sat quite still, but watched the door in a fever of impatience.
"Rogojin and his hundred thousand roubles, no doubt of it," muttered Ptitsin to himself.
“唉呀，瞧您说得多蠢，”达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜摩应声说，“而且真是胡说八道，所有的人都偷过什么东西，这是不可能的；我就从来也没有偷过东西。”
“您从来也没有偷过任何东西，达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜，那么突然满脸通红的公爵会说什么呢？”
“我觉得，您说的是对的，只是非常夸大，”真的不知为什么脸红耳赤的公爵说。
“那么公爵您自己没有偷过东西吗？”
＊法语，难以挑选。
“嘿！这多可笑！清醒点，费尔迪先科先生，”将军插话说。
“只不过是，”真要言归正传了，就变得不好意思讲了，于是就想把公爵跟自己连在一起，因为他不会反抗的，”达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜一字一句地说得很清楚。
“费尔迪先科，要么讲，要么就别作声，管好自己，无论什么样的耐心都给您消磨掉了，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜尖刻而又烦恼地说。
“马上就讲，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜；但是既然公爵承认了，因为我是坚持认为公爵反正是承认了，那么，假如说另一个人（没有讲是谁）什么时候想说真话了，他还能说什么呢？至于说到我，诸位，接下去根本就没什么好讲的了：很简单，很愚蠢，很恶劣。但是我请你们相信，我不是贼；是偷了，却不知道怎么偷的。这是前年的事，在谢苗·伊万诺维奇伊先科的别墅里，是一个星期天。客人们在他那里午餐。午餐后男人们留下来喝酒。我忽然想起请他的女儿玛里娅·谢苗诺夫娜小姐弹钢琴。我穿过角落里的一个房间，在玛里娅·伊万诺夫娜的小工作台上放着三个卢布，是一张绿色的钞票：女主人拿出来是给什么家用开支的。房间里一个人也没有。我拿了钞票就放进了口袋，为什么要这样做，我不知道。我碰上什么了－－我不明白，只不过我很快就回来了，坐到桌旁。我一直坐着，等着，心里相当激动，嘴上知唠叨个不停，又是讲笑话，又是打哈哈；后来我坐到女士们身边。大概过了半个小时，有人发现钱不见而寻找起来，并开始盘问起女仆。一个叫达里哑的女仆受到了怀疑。我表现出异常好奇和兴趣，我甚至还记得，当达里娅完全不知所措的时候，我还劝她，让她认错，并用脑袋担保玛里娅。伊万诺夫娜一定会发善心，这是当着大家面公开讲的。所有的人都看着，我则感到非常快乐，恰恰是因为钞票在我口袋里，而我却在开导别人。这三个卢布当天晚上我就在饭店里买酒喝掉了。我走进去，要了一瓶拉菲特酒；这以前我从来也没有这样光要一瓶酒，别的什么也不要；只想尽快花掉这些钱。无论当时还是后来，我没有感觉到特别的良心责备。但是一定不会再干第二次了，信不信这点，随你们，我是不感兴趣的。好了，讲完了。”
“只不过，当然罗，这不是您最坏的行为，”达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜厌恶地说。
“这是一种心理现象，而不是行为，”阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇指出。
“那么女仆怎样呢？”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜并不掩饰极其厌恶的态度问道。
“当然，第二天女仆就被逐出家门。这是规矩很严的人家。”
“您就随它去了？”
“说得真妙！难道我该去说出自己来？”费尔迪先科嘻嘻笑了起来，不过他讲的故事使大家产生了十分不愉快的印象，这在某种程度上使他感到惊讶。
“这是多么肮脏呀！”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜高声喊道。
“嘿！您又想从人家那里听到他最丑恶的行为，与此同时又要求冠冕堂皇！最丑恶的行为总是很肮脏的，我们马上将从伊万·彼得罗维奇那里听到这一点；外表富丽堂皇，想要显示其高尚品德的人还少吗，因为他们有自己的马车。有自备马车的人还少吗……而且都是用什么手段……”
总之，费尔迪先科完全克制不住自己，突然怒不可遏，甚至到了忘形的地步，越过了分寸；整个脸都变了样。无论多么奇怪，但非常可能的是，他期待自己讲的故事会得到完全不同的成功。正如托茨基所说的，这种品位低劣和“特种牛皮的失误”，费尔迪先科是经常发生的，也完全符合他的性格。
纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜气得甚至打了个颤，凝神逼视着费尔迪先科；后者一下子就畏怯了，不吭声了，几乎吓得浑身发凉：他走得是太远了。
“是不是该彻底结束了？”阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇狡侩地问。
“轮到我了，但我享有优待，就不讲了，”普季岑坚决地说。
“您不想讲？”
“我不能讲，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜；而且我根本就认为这样的沙龙游戏是令人难受的。”
“将军，好像下面轮到您了，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜转向他说，“如果您也拒绝，那么跟在您后面我们的一切就全都吹了，我会感到很遗憾，因此我打算在最后讲‘我自己生活中’的一个行为，但只是想在您和阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇之后讲，因为你们一定能鼓起我勇气，”她大笑着说完了话。
“噢，既然连您也答应讲，”将军热烈地嚷道，“那么，哪怕是一辈子的事我也准备讲给您听；但是，老实说，在等着轮到的时候，我已经准备好了一则轶事……”
“光凭阁下的样子就已可以得出结论，他是带着一种特别的文学乐趣来披露自己的轶事的，”仍然有几分困窘的费尔迪先科好笑着，斗胆说。
纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜向将军扫了一眼，也暗自窃笑。但是看得出，在她身上苦恼和焦躁越来越强烈。阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇听到她答应讲故事，加倍惊惶不安。
“诸位，跟任何一个人一样，在我的生活中也做过一些不完全高雅的行为，”将军开始说，“但最奇怪的是，现在要讲的短故事，我认为是我一生里最恶劣的事。事情过去了差不多已有３５年；但是一想起来，我总是摆脱不了某种所谓耿耿于怀的印象。其实，事情是非常愚蠢的：当时我还刚刚是个准尉，在军队里干苦差使。唉，大家知道，准尉是怎么回事：热血沸腾，雄心勃勃，可是经济上却穷酸得很；那时我有个勤务兵叫尼基福尔，对我的衬衫十分操心，积攒钱财，缝缝补补，打扫洗涤，样样都干，甚至到处去偷他所能偷的一切，就为了使家里增加财富，真是个最最忠实，最最诚心诚意的人我当然是很严格的，但也是公正的，有一段时间我们智驻守在一座小城里。为我指定的住所是在城郊，是一个退伍少尉妻子的房子，她是个寡妇，８０岁，至少也是将近这个年龄的老太婆。她的小木房破旧不堪，糟糕透了，老大婆甚至穷得女仆都没有。但是，主要的有一个情况很突出：过去她有过成员众多的家庭和亲属；但是，随着岁月的流逝一些人已经死去，另一些人各奔异乡还有些人则忘了老太婆，而在４５年前她就安葬了自己的丈夫，几年前还有个侄女跟她一起过，那是个驼背，据说凶得像女妖，有一次甚至把老太婆的手指头都咬了一口，但是她也死去了，这样老太婆一个人孤苦伶汀勉强度月又是３年。住在她那里我感到很寂寞无聊，她又是个毫无意思的人，从她那里不可能得到什么乐趣。后来她偷了我一只公鸡。这件事到现在还弄不清楚，除了她没有别的人。为公鸡的事我们吵架了，吵得很厉害，这时正好碰到一个情况：根据我最初的请求，将我换到另一家住所，在另一头城郊，一个大胡子商人人口众多的家庭，我和尼基福尔高高兴兴搬了家，忿忿地留下了老太婆。过了三天，我操练回来，尼基福尔报告说，“长官，我们有一只盘儿白白留在过去的女主人那里了，现在没东西好盛汤了。”我当然很惊奇：“怎么回事，我们的盆怎么会留在女房东那里呢？”尼基福尔也感到很奇怪，他继续报告说，我们搬走时，房东不肯把汤盆交给他，原因是我曾打破了她的一只瓦罐，她就留下我们的汤盆抵她的瓦罐，还说似乎是我自己这么向她提议的。她的这种卑鄙行径当然使我忍无可忍；我身上的血在沸腾，跳起来就飞奔而去。来到老太婆那里时，这么说吧，我已经不能自制；我看见她一个人孤零零坐在穿堂角落里，就像是躲避阳光似的，一只手撑着脸颊；知道吗，我上前对她大发雷霆，骂她怎么样，怎么样！你们知道，俄国话是怎么骂人的，但是我瞧着瞧着，觉得有点奇怪：她坐着，脸朝着我，瞪着眼睛，却一句话都不回答，而且很奇怪很奇怪地望着你，似乎身子在摇晃。后来，我就平息下来，细细打量着她，问她，还是不答一句话。我犹豫着站了一会；苍蝇在周围嗡嗡叫，太阳正在下山，笼罩着一片寂静。在非常尴尬的情况下，最后我只得离去。还没有到家，就要我去见少校，后来又去了连队，这样回到家时已经是晚上了。尼基福尔开口第一句话就是：‘长官先生，您知道吗？我们的女房东已经死了。’‘什么时候？’‘就今天傍晚，一个半小时以前。’这就是说，我骂她的时候她正在离开人世。这简直使我惊愕了。我要对你们说，好不容易我才醒悟过来。知道吗，甚至脑海中常浮现出她的样子，连夜里也会梦见她。我自然是不信迷信的，但是第三天还是去了教堂参加了送殡。总之，时间过得越久，就越常索绕在脑海里，并不是信什么，有时候就会这么想到她，于是心里就不好过。这里主要的是我究竟得出什么结论呢？第一个女人，这么说吧，我们时代称之为赋予生命之躯的富有人道的人，她生活，活了很久，最后活得大久了。她曾经有过孩子、丈夫、家庭、亲人，她周围的这一切真所谓热闹欢腾，所有这些人真所谓充满欢声笑语，突然，全都派司了，全都烟消云散了，只剩下她一人，犹如……一只生来就遭诅咒的苍蝇。终于，上帝来引渡她去终点了，伴随着西丁的夕阳，在夏日幽静的黄昏，我的房东老太婆也正飘然而逝，当然，此刻她不无劝谕的念头；可就在这一瞬间，代替所谓诀别的泪水的是，一个无所顾忌的年轻准尉两手叉腰，为了失去一一只汤盆竟用最刻毒的俄语破口大骂送她离开尘世！毫无疑问，我是有罪的，虽然由于年代的久远和性情的改变我早已像看待别人的行为那样来看待自己的行为，但是一直总有一种懊悔的心情。所以，我要再说一次，我甚至感到很奇怪。尤其是，即使我有罪过，那也不全部归咎于我：她为什么偏偏要在这个时候死呢？当然，这里有一点辩解的理由：我的行为在某种程度上是一种心理反应，但我依然难以心安理得，直到１５年前我用自己的钱把两个长年生病的老太婆送到养老院供养，目的是为她们提供比较好的生活条件，使她们在尘世的最后一段日子过得轻松些。我想遗赠一笔钱用作永久性的慈善款项。好了，就讲这些，完了。再说一遍，也许，一一生中我有许多罪孽，但是，凭良心说，这一行为我认为是我一生中最最恶劣的行为。”
“同时阁下讲了一生中的一件好事取代了最恶劣的行为；把费尔迪先科给骗了！”费尔迪先科作出结论说。
“真的，将军，我也没有想到，您到底还有一颗善良的心，我甚至感到很遗憾，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜不客气地说。
“遗憾？为什么？”将军带着殷勤的笑声问，不无得意地呷了一口香槟。
但是接着轮到阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇了，他也已准备好。大家猜测，他不会像伊万·彼得罗维奇那样表示拒绝，而且，出于某种原因，大家还怀着特别的好奇心等着他讲故事，同时又不时打量一下纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜。阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇摆出一副与其魁伟的外表十分相配的庄重神气的样子，用平和可亲的声音开始叙述一个“好听的故事”。（顺便说一下：他是个仪表堂堂、威风凛漂的人，身材高大，长得相当肥胖，有点秃顶，还间有丝丝白发，松软红润的脸颊稍稍下垂，口中镶有假牙。他穿的衣服比较宽松，但很讲究，所穿的内衣非常精美。他那双丰满白皙的手真令人不由得多看上几眼。右手的食指上戴着一枚贵重的钻石戒指。）在他讲故事的时候纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜专心致志地细看着自己衣袖上皱起的花边，用左手的两个指头将它扯平，因此一次也没有去看讲故事的人。
“什么最能使我轻松地完成任务，”阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇开始说，“这就是一定得讲自己一生中最坏的行为，而不是别的。这种情况下，当然，是不会有什么犹豫的：良心和心的记忆马上就会提示你，正应该讲什么。我痛心地意识到，在我一生中数不胜举的、也许是冒失的和……轻浮的行为中有一件事，在我的记忆中烙下了深刻的印象，心里甚至是非常沉重的。事情大约发生在２０年前，我当时去乡间普拉东·奥尔登采夫那里。他刚被选为首席贵族，带了年轻的妻子来度冬假。那时安菲莎·阿列克谢耶夫娜的生日刚好临近了，便举办了两次舞会。当时小仲马那本美妙的小说《Ｌａ ｄａｍｅ ａｕｘｃａｍｅｌｌｌａｓ》＊在上流社会刚刚打响，风靡一时，茶花女的诗意，据我看，注定是永垂不朽，永葆青春的。在外省，所有的女士们，至少是那些读过这本书的女士们都赞叹备至，欣喜若狂：吸引人的故事，别具匠心的安排主人公的命运，分析细腻的这个诱人的世界，最后还有分布在全书的令人着迷的细节（例如，有关轮换使用白茶花和红茶花花束的情境），总之，所有这些美妙的细节，所有这一切加起来，几乎产生震撼人心的效果。茶花成为不可一世的时髦货。大家都要茶花，大家都觅茶花。请问：在一个小县城里，虽然舞会并不多，可是为了参加舞会大家都要找茶花，能搞到那么多吗？彼加·沃尔霍夫斯科伊这个可怜虫当时为了安菲莎·阿列克谢耶夫娜正苦苦受着剪熬。说真的，我也不知道，他们是否有什么名堂，换句话，我是想说，彼加·沃尔霍夫斯科伊是否会有某种认真的希望？可怜的他为了在傍晚前弄到茶花供安菲莎·阿列克谢耶夫娜舞会用，急得发狂一般。从彼得堡来的省长夫人的客人索茨卡妞伯爵夫人，以及索菲亚·别斯帕洛娃，据悉，肯定是带白色花束前来。安菲莎·阿列克谢耶夫娜为了得到某种特殊的效果，想用红色的茶花，可怜的普拉东几乎彼搞得疲于奔命；自然，他是丈夫嘛；他担保一定搞到花束的，可是结果呢？早一天卡捷琳娜·亚历山德罗夫娜·梅季谢娃就把花都截走了，在一切方面她都是安菲莎·阿列克谢耶夫娜的冤家对头，两人结下了仇。这一来，后者自然便会歇斯底里大发作，甚而昏厥过去。普拉东这下完了。很明白，如果彼加在这个有意思的时刻能在什么地方弄到花束，那么他的事可能会有大大的进展。这种情况下女人的感激是无限的。他到处拚命奔走，但是毫无希望，这已经没什么好说的了。突然，在生日舞会的前夕，已是夜里１１点了，我在奥尔登采夫的女邻居玛里娅·彼得罗夫娜那里，遇见了他。他容光焕发，颇为高兴。‘您怎么啦？’‘找到了！埃夫里卡！’‘嗨，兄弟，你可真让我惊奇！在哪儿找到的？怎么发现的？’‘在叶克沙伊斯克（那里有这么一个小城，离这儿总共才２０里，不是我们县），那里有个叫特列帕洛夫的商人，是个大胡子，富翁，跟老伴一起过，没有孩子，尽养些金丝雀。两人酷爱养花，他家有茶花。’‘得了吧，这未必可靠，喂，要是不肯给，怎么办。”‘我就跪下来，在他脚边苦苦哀求，直到他给为止，否则我就不走！’‘你什么时候去呢？’‘明天天一亮，５点钟。”‘好吧，上帝保佑你！’就这样，要知道，我为他感到高兴，回到奥尔登采夫那里；后来，已经１点多了，我脑海里却老是浮现出这件事。已经想躺下睡觉了，忽然冒出了一个别出心裁的念头！我立即到厨房里，叫醒了马车夫萨维利，给了他１５卢布，‘半小时内把马备好！’当然，过了半小时门口已停好一辆马车式雪撬；有人告诉我，安菲莎·阿列克谢耶夫娜正犯偏头痛，发烧，说胡话，--我坐上雪撬就走了。５点钟时我已经在叶克沙伊斯克了，在客店里等到天亮，也只等天亮；７点钟我就在特列帕洛夫那里了。如此这般说明了来意，就问：‘有茶花吗？大爷，亲爹，帮帮忙，救救我，我给您磕头！’老头个子很高，头发斑白，神情严峻，是个厉害的老头。‘不，不，无论怎样我也不答应！’我啪的一声跪在他脚下！跪着跪着最后就躺了下来！‘您怎么啦，老兄，您怎么啦，我的爷？’
他甚至吓坏了。‘这可是人命攸关的事！’我朝他喊道。‘既然这样，那就拿吧，去吧。，我马上就剪了一些红茶花！他整整一小间暖房全是茶花，长得好极了，非常美！老头子连声叹息。我掏出了一百卢布。‘不，老兄，请别用这样的方式使我感到难堪。，‘既然这样，我说，尊敬的大爷，就请您把这一百卢布捐给当地的医院以做改善伙食之用。’‘这就是另一回事了，老兄，他说，是好事，高尚的事，善事；为了您的健康，我会捐赠的。’知道吗，我开始喜欢这个俄罗斯老头了，可以说，是个地道的典型的俄罗斯人， ｄｅ ｌａｖｒａｉｅ ｓｏｕｃｈｅ。”我因为取得了成功而欣喜若狂，立即动身返回；我们是绕道回去的，以免碰上彼加。我一到，立即派人把花束赶在安菲沙·阿列克谢耶夫娜醒来前送去；你们可以想象到狂喜、感谢、感激的泪水那种情景！普拉东昨天还是垂头丧气，死气沉沉的，竟伏在我胸前号陶大哭。哎，自从缔造……合法婚姻以来所有的丈夫都是这样的！我不敢添油加醋说什么，不过可怜的彼加因为这段插曲而彻底垮了。开始我以为，他一旦获悉此事，将会杀了我，我甚至做好准备见他，但发生了我都难以相信的事：他昏厥了，傍晚时说胡话，到早晨则发热病，像孩子似的号陶大哭，浑身抽搐着，过了一个月，他刚刚痊愈，便去了高加索，真是一件风流韵事。最后，他在克里米亚阵亡。那时他还有个兄弟叫斯捷潘·沃尔霍夫斯科伊，指挥一个团，立过功，但据说，后来甚至有许多年我都受着良心责备的折磨：为了什么又何必要使他受到这样的致命一击？当时若是我自己钟情于安菲莎·阿列克谢耶夫娜，倒也还情有可原。但是那不过是作弄人的儿戏，只是出于一般的献殷勤，别无所求，假如我不入他那里截走这花束，谁知道；也许他就活到现在，会很幸福，会有成就，但怎么也想不到会去跟士耳其人打仗。”
阿法纳西。伊万诺维奇还是带着神气庄重的神态静默下来，就跟开始时一样。大家都注意到，当阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇结束的时候，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的眼中似乎闪射出一种特别的光芒，嘴唇甚至也哆嗦了一下，大家都好奇地望着他们俩。
“您骗了费尔迪先科！骗得可真像！不，这可是骗得太像了！”费尔迪先科用哭声哭腔嚷着。他明白，现在可以而且应该插话。
“谁叫您不明事理呢？那就向聪明人学学吧！”几乎是得意洋洋的达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜（她是托茨基忠实的老朋友，老搭挡）断然抢白道。
“您说得对，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇，沙龙游戏是很无聊，该快点结束它，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜漫不经心地说，“我自己要把答应的事说说，然后大家就玩牌。”
“但先要讲答应讲的故事！”将军热烈地表示赞同。
“公爵，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜突然出其不意地猛然转向他说，“这里都是我的老朋友，将军和阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇老是想让我嫁人。请告诉我您怎么想的？我究竟是嫁人还是不嫁？您怎么说，我就怎么做。”
阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇脸色刷地变白了，将军呆若木鸡；大家都瞪着眼伸着头。加尼亚站在原地发愣。
“嫁……嫁给谁。”公爵低声轻气地问。
“嫁给加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇·伊沃尔金，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫挪仍然像原先那样生硬，坚决和清晰地说。
沉默了几秒钟；公爵仿佛竭力想说却又说不出来，就像可怕的重负压着他的胸口。
“不……别嫁！”他终于轻声说了出来，还用力换了一口气。
“那就这样！加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇！”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫问，威严地，似乎是得意地对他说，“您听见了，公爵是怎么决断的吗？好了，这也正是我的答复；让这件事就此永远了结！”
“纳斯塔西娅，·费利帕夫娜！”阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇用颤抖的声音说。
“纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜！”将军用劝说但又含着惊谎的口吻说。
所有的人都惶惶不安，骚动起来。
“你们怎么啦，诸位，”她似乎惊讶地看着客人们，继续说，“你们干吗这么惊谎？瞧你们大家的脸色！”
“可是……您回想一下，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜，”托茨基嗫嚅着说。“您许下的允诺……完全是自愿的，您本可以多少保留一些您的承诺……我感到很为难…… 当然也很尴尬，但是……总之，现在，在这种时刻，当着……当着众人的面，所有这一切就这样……就用这种沙龙游戏来结束一桩严肃的事，一桩有关名誉和良心的事……这事可是决定着……”
“我不明白您的意思，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇；您真的完全糊涂了。第一，什么叫‘当着众人的面’？难道我们不是在非常要好的知已圈内吗？为什么是‘沙龙游戏，呢？我真的很想讲讲自己的故事，贻，这不讲了吗，难道不好吗？为什么您说。不认真，？难道这不认真吗？您听见了，我对公爵说：‘怎么说，就怎么做；如果他说‘行，我就立即会表示同意，但他说了‘不’，所以我回绝了。我整个一生部维系在这千钧一发之中；还有比这更认真的吗？”
“但是公爵，这事为什么要有公爵呢？再说，公爵算什么呢？”将军喃喃着说，他几乎已经不能克制自己，对于公爵拥有这样令人委屈的权威感到很是愤屈。
“对于我来说，公爵是我一生中第一个信得过的真正忠实的人。一见我，他就信任我，我也相信他。”
“我只能感谢纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜用非常委婉客气的态度……来对待我，”可怜的加尼亚歪着嘴唇，终于用发颤的嗓音说，“当然，本来就会是这样的……但是……公爵……在这件事上公爵……”
“现在可得七万五千卢布，是吗？”突然纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜打断他说，“您是想说这话吗？别矢口抵赖，您肯定是想说这话的！阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇，我忘了补充一点：请您把这七万五千卢布拿回去，而且也请您知道，我无条件让您自由。够了！您也该松口气了！九年三个月！明天将重新开始，而今天是我过生日，而且自己按自己的意愿过，这是一生中的第一次！将军，请您也把您的珍珠拿回去，送给夫人，给；而明天起我将完全搬出这套寓所。再也不会举办晚会了，诸位！”
说完这些，她突然站起身，仿佛想要离席。
“纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜！纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜！”四座响起了喊声。大家都激动起来，大家都离座起身；把她团团围住；大家都怀着不安的心情听她讲这些冲动、激昂、狂热的话；大家都感到纷乱无绪，谁也弄不清楚，谁也弄不明白。就在这瞬间突然传来了响亮有力的门铃声，就跟刚才加尼亚家响起的铃声一模一样。
“啊--啊！我要收场了！终于来了！ １１点半！”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜高声说，“你们请坐，诸位，这是戏的结局。”
说完，她自己坐了下来。她的唇间颤动着一丝怪异的笑容。她默默地坐着，焦躁地等待着，注视着门口。
“毫无疑问，是罗戈任和１０万卢布，”普季岑自言自语嘟哝着。