A FORTNIGHT had passed since the events recorded in the last chapter, and the position of the actors in our story had become so changed that it is almost impossible for us to continue the tale without some few explanations. Yet we feel that we ought to limit ourselves to the simple record of facts, without much attempt at explanation, for a very patent reason: because we ourselves have the greatest possible difficulty in accounting for the facts to be recorded. Such a statement on our part may appear strange to the reader. How is anyone to tell a story which he cannot understand himself? In order to keep clear of a false position, we had perhaps better give an example of what we mean; and probably the intelligent reader will soon understand the difficulty. More especially are we inclined to take this course since the example will constitute a distinct march forward of our story, and will not hinder the progress of the events remaining to be recorded.
During the next fortnight--that is, through the early part of July--the history of our hero was circulated in the form of strange, diverting, most unlikely-sounding stories, which passed from mouth to mouth, through the streets and villas adjoining those inhabited by Lebedeff, Ptitsin, Nastasia Philipovna and the Epanchins; in fact, pretty well through the whole town and its environs. All society--both the inhabitants of the place and those who came down of an evening for the music--had got hold of one and the same story, in a thousand varieties of detail--as to how a certain young prince had raised a terrible scandal in a most respectable household, had thrown over a daughter of the family, to whom he was engaged, and had been captured by a woman of shady reputation whom he was determined to marry at once-- breaking off all old ties for the satisfaction of his insane idea; and, in spite of the public indignation roused by his action, the marriage was to take place in Pavlofsk openly and publicly, and the prince had announced his intention of going through with it with head erect and looking the whole world in the face. The story was so artfully adorned with scandalous details, and persons of so great eminence and importance were apparently mixed up in it, while, at the same time, the evidence was so circumstantial, that it was no wonder the matter gave food for plenty of curiosity and gossip.
According to the reports of the most talented gossip-mongers-- those who, in every class of society, are always in haste to explain every event to their neighbours--the young gentleman concerned was of good family--a prince--fairly rich--weak of intellect, but a democrat and a dabbler in the Nihilism of the period, as exposed by Mr. Turgenieff. He could hardly talk Russian, but had fallen in love with one of the Miss Epanchins, and his suit met with so much encouragement that he had been received in the house as the recognized bridegroom-to-be of the young lady. But like the Frenchman of whom the story is told that he studied for holy orders, took all the oaths, was ordained priest, and next morning wrote to his bishop informing him that, as he did not believe in God and considered it wrong to deceive the people and live upon their pockets, he begged to surrender the orders conferred upon him the day before, and to inform his lordship that he was sending this letter to the public press,-- like this Frenchman, the prince played a false game. It was rumoured that he had purposely waited for the solemn occasion of a large evening party at the house of his future bride, at which he was introduced to several eminent persons, in order publicly to make known his ideas and opinions, and thereby insult the "big-wigs," and to throw over his bride as offensively as possible; and that, resisting the servants who were told off to turn him out of the house, he had seized and thrown down a magnificent china vase. As a characteristic addition to the above, it was currently reported that the young prince really loved the lady to whom he was engaged, and had thrown her over out of purely Nihilistic motives, with the intention of giving himself the satisfaction of marrying a fallen woman in the face of all the world, thereby publishing his opinion that there is no distinction between virtuous and disreputable women, but that all women are alike, free; and a "fallen" woman, indeed, somewhat superior to a virtuous one.
It was declared that he believed in no classes or anything else, excepting "the woman question."
All this looked likely enough, and was accepted as fact by most of the inhabitants of the place, especially as it was borne out, more or less, by daily occurrences.
Of course much was said that could not be determined absolutely. For instance, it was reported that the poor girl had so loved her future husband that she had followed him to the house of the other woman, the day after she had been thrown over; others said that he had insisted on her coming, himself, in order to shame and insult her by his taunts and Nihilistic confessions when she reached the house. However all these things might be, the public interest in the matter grew daily, especially as it became clear that the scandalous wedding was undoubtedly to take place.
So that if our readers were to ask an explanation, not of the wild reports about the prince's Nihilistic opinions, but simply as to how such a marriage could possibly satisfy his real aspirations, or as to the spiritual condition of our hero at this time, we confess that we should have great difficulty in giving the required information.
All we know is, that the marriage really was arranged, and that the prince had commissioned Lebedeff and Keller to look after all the necessary business connected with it; that he had requested them to spare no expense; that Nastasia herself was hurrying on the wedding; that Keller was to be the prince's best man, at his own earnest request; and that Burdovsky was to give Nastasia away, to his great delight. The wedding was to take place before the middle of July.
But, besides the above, we are cognizant of certain other undoubted facts, which puzzle us a good deal because they seem flatly to contradict the foregoing.
We suspect, for instance, that having commissioned Lebedeff and the others, as above, the prince immediately forgot all about masters of ceremonies and even the ceremony itself; and we feel quite certain that in making these arrangements he did so in order that he might absolutely escape all thought of the wedding, and even forget its approach if he could, by detailing all business concerning it to others.
What did he think of all this time, then? What did he wish for? There is no doubt that he was a perfectly free agent all through, and that as far as Nastasia was concerned, there was no force of any kind brought to bear on him. Nastasia wished for a speedy marriage, true!--but the prince agreed at once to her proposals; he agreed, in fact, so casually that anyone might suppose he was but acceding to the most simple and ordinary suggestion.
There are many strange circumstances such as this before us; but in our opinion they do but deepen the mystery, and do not in the smallest degree help us to understand the case.
However, let us take one more example. Thus, we know for a fact that during the whole of this fortnight the prince spent all his days and evenings with Nastasia; he walked with her, drove with her; he began to be restless whenever he passed an hour without seeing her--in fact, to all appearances, he sincerely loved her. He would listen to her for hours at a time with a quiet smile on his face, scarcely saying a word himself. And yet we know, equally certainly, that during this period he several times set off, suddenly, to the Epanchins', not concealing the fact from Nastasia Philipovna, and driving the latter to absolute despair. We know also that he was not received at the Epanchins' so long as they remained at Pavlofsk, and that he was not allowed an interview with Aglaya;--but next day he would set off once more on the same errand, apparently quite oblivious of the fact of yesterday's visit having been a failure,--and, of course, meeting with another refusal. We know, too, that exactly an hour after Aglaya had fled from Nastasia Philipovna's house on that fateful evening, the prince was at the Epanchins',--and that his appearance there had been the cause of the greatest consternation and dismay; for Aglaya had not been home, and the family only discovered then, for the first time, that the two of them had been to Nastasia's house together.
It was said that Elizabetha Prokofievna and her daughters had there and then denounced the prince in the strongest terms, and had refused any further acquaintance and friendship with him; their rage and denunciations being redoubled when Varia Ardalionovna suddenly arrived and stated that Aglaya had been at her house in a terrible state of mind for the last hour, and that she refused to come home.
This last item of news, which disturbed Lizabetha Prokofievna more than anything else, was perfectly true. On leaving Nastasia's, Aglaya had felt that she would rather die than face her people, and had therefore gone straight to Nina Alexandrovna's. On receiving the news, Lizabetha and her daughters and the general all rushed off to Aglaya, followed by Prince Lef Nicolaievitch--undeterred by his recent dismissal; but through Varia he was refused a sight of Aglaya here also. The end of the episode was that when Aglaya saw her mother and sisters crying over her and not uttering a word of reproach, she had flung herself into their arms and gone straight home with them.
It was said that Gania managed to make a fool of himself even on this occasion; for, finding himself alone with Aglaya for a minute or two when Varia had gone to the Epanchins', he had thought it a fitting opportunity to make a declaration of his love, and on hearing this Aglaya, in spite of her state of mind at the time, had suddenly burst out laughing, and had put a strange question to him. She asked him whether he would consent to hold his finger to a lighted candle in proof of his devotion! Gania--it was said--looked so comically bewildered that Aglaya had almost laughed herself into hysterics, and had rushed out of the room and upstairs,--where her parents had found her.
Hippolyte told the prince this last story, sending for him on purpose. When Muishkin heard about the candle and Gania's finger he had laughed so that he had quite astonished Hippolyte,--and then shuddered and burst into tears. The prince's condition during those days was strange and perturbed. Hippolyte plainly declared that he thought he was out of his mind;--this, however, was hardly to be relied upon.
Offering all these facts to our readers and refusing to explain them, we do not for a moment desire to justify our hero's conduct. On the contrary, we are quite prepared to feel our share of the indignation which his behaviour aroused in the hearts of his friends. Even Vera Lebedeff was angry with him for a while; so was Colia; so was Keller, until he was selected for best man; so was Lebedeff himself,--who began to intrigue against him out of pure irritation;--but of this anon. In fact we are in full accord with certain forcible words spoken to the prince by Evgenie Pavlovitch, quite unceremoniously, during the course of a friendly conversation, six or seven days after the events at Nastasia Philipovna's house.
We may remark here that not only the Epanchins themselves, but all who had anything to do with them, thought it right to break with the prince in consequence of his conduct. Prince S. even went so far as to turn away and cut him dead in the street. But Evgenie Pavlovitch was not afraid to compromise himself by paying the prince a visit, and did so, in spite of the fact that he had recommenced to visit at the Epanchins', where he was received with redoubled hospitality and kindness after the temporary estrangement.
Evgenie called upon the prince the day after that on which the Epanchins left Pavlofsk. He knew of all the current rumours,--in fact, he had probably contributed to them himself. The prince was delighted to see him, and immediately began to speak of the Epanchins;--which simple and straightforward opening quite took Evgenie's fancy, so that he melted at once, and plunged in medias res without ceremony.
The prince did not know, up to this, that the Epanchins had left the place. He grew very pale on hearing the news; but a moment later he nodded his head, and said thoughtfully:
"I knew it was bound to be so." Then he added quickly:
"Where have they gone to?"
Evgenie meanwhile observed him attentively, and the rapidity of the questions, their, simplicity, the prince's candour, and at the same time, his evident perplexity and mental agitation, surprised him considerably. However, he told Muishkin all he could, kindly and in detail. The prince hardly knew anything, for this was the first informant from the household whom he had met since the estrangement.
Evgenie reported that Aglaya had been really ill, and that for two nights she had not slept at all, owing to high fever; that now she was better and out of serious danger, but still in a nervous, hysterical state.
"It's a good thing that there is peace in the house, at all events," he continued. "They never utter a hint about the past, not only in Aglaya's presence, but even among themselves. The old people are talking of a trip abroad in the autumn, immediately after Adelaida's wedding; Aglaya received the news in silence."
Evgenie himself was very likely going abroad also; so were Prince S. and his wife, if affairs allowed of it; the general was to stay at home. They were all at their estate of Colmina now, about twenty miles or so from St. Petersburg. Princess Bielokonski had not returned to Moscow yet, and was apparently staying on for reasons of her own. Lizabetha Prokofievna had insisted that it was quite impossible to remain in Pavlofsk after what had happened. Evgenie had told her of all the rumours current in town about the affair; so that there could be no talk of their going to their house on the Yelagin as yet.
"And in point of fact, prince," added Evgenie Pavlovitch, "you must allow that they could hardly have stayed here, considering that they knew of all that went on at your place, and in the face of your daily visits to their house, visits which you insisted upon making in spite of their refusal to see you."
"Yes--yes, quite so; you are quite right. I wished to see Aglaya Ivanovna, you know!" said the prince, nodding his head.
"Oh, my dear fellow," cried Evgenie, warmly, with real sorrow in his voice, "how could you permit all that to come about as it has? Of course, of course, I know it was all so unexpected. I admit that you, only naturally, lost your head, and--and could not stop the foolish girl; that was not in your power. I quite see so much; but you really should have understood how seriously she cared for you. She could not bear to share you with another; and you could bring yourself to throw away and shatter such a treasure! Oh, prince, prince!"
"Yes, yes, you are quite right again," said the poor prince, in anguish of mind. "I was wrong, I know. But it was only Aglaya who looked on Nastasia Philipovna so; no one else did, you know."
"But that's just the worst of it all, don't you see, that there was absolutely nothing serious about the matter in reality!" cried Evgenie, beside himself: "Excuse me, prince, but I have thought over all this; I have thought a great deal over it; I know all that had happened before; I know all that took place six months since; and I know there was NOTHING serious about the matter, it was but fancy, smoke, fantasy, distorted by agitation, and only the alarmed jealousy of an absolutely inexperienced girl could possibly have mistaken it for serious reality."
Here Evgenie Pavlovitch quite let himself go, and gave the reins to his indignation.
Clearly and reasonably, and with great psychological insight, he drew a picture of the prince's past relations with Nastasia Philipovna. Evgenie Pavlovitch always had a ready tongue, but on this occasion his eloquence, surprised himself. "From the very beginning," he said, "you began with a lie; what began with a lie was bound to end with a lie; such is the law of nature. I do not agree, in fact I am angry, when I hear you called an idiot; you are far too intelligent to deserve such an epithet; but you are so far STRANGE as to be unlike others; that you must allow, yourself. Now, I have come to the conclusion that the basis of all that has happened, has been first of all your innate inexperience (remark the expression 'innate,' prince). Then follows your unheard-of simplicity of heart; then comes your absolute want of sense of proportion (to this want you have several times confessed); and lastly, a mass, an accumulation, of intellectual convictions which you, in your unexampled honesty of soul, accept unquestionably as also innate and natural and true. Admit, prince, that in your relations with Nastasia Philipovna there has existed, from the very first, something democratic, and the fascination, so to speak, of the 'woman question'? I know all about that scandalous scene at Nastasia Philipovna's house when Rogojin brought the money, six months ago. I'll show you yourself as in a looking-glass, if you like. I know exactly all that went on, in every detail, and why things have turned out as they have. You thirsted, while in Switzerland, for your home-country, for Russia; you read, doubtless, many books about Russia, excellent books, I dare say, but hurtful to YOU; and you arrived here; as it were, on fire with the longing to be of service. Then, on the very day of your arrival, they tell you a sad story of an ill- used woman; they tell YOU, a knight, pure and without reproach, this tale of a poor woman! The same day you actually SEE her; you are attracted by her beauty, her fantastic, almost demoniacal, beauty--(I admit her beauty, of course).
"Add to all this your nervous nature, your epilepsy, and your sudden arrival in a strange town--the day of meetings and of exciting scenes, the day of unexpected acquaintanceships, the day of sudden actions, the day of meeting with the three lovely Epanchin girls, and among them Aglaya--add your fatigue, your excitement; add Nastasia' s evening party, and the tone of that party, and--what were you to expect of yourself at such a moment as that?"
"Yes, yes, yes!" said the prince, once more, nodding his head, and blushing slightly. "Yes, it was so, or nearly so--I know it. And besides, you see, I had not slept the night before, in the train, or the night before that, either, and I was very tired."
"She is worthy of sympathy? Is that what you wished to say, my good fellow? But then, for the mere sake of vindicating her worthiness of sympathy, you should not have insulted and offended a noble and generous girl in her presence! This is a terrible exaggeration of sympathy! How can you love a girl, and yet so humiliate her as to throw her over for the sake of another woman, before the very eyes of that other woman, when you have already made her a formal proposal of marriage? And you DID propose to her, you know; you did so before her parents and sisters. Can you be an honest man, prince, if you act so? I ask you! And did you not deceive that beautiful girl when you assured her of your love?"
"Yes, you are quite right. Oh! I feel that I am very guilty!" said Muishkin, in deepest distress.
"But as if that is enough!" cried Evgenie, indignantly. "As if it is enough simply to say: 'I know I am very guilty!' You are to blame, and yet you persevere in evil-doing. Where was your heart, I should like to know, your CHRISTIAN HEART, all that time? Did she look as though she were suffering less, at that moment? You saw her face--was she suffering less than the other woman? How could you see her suffering and allow it to continue? How could you?"
"But I did not allow it," murmured the wretched prince.
"How--what do you mean you didn't allow?"
"Upon my word, I didn't! To this moment I don't know how it all happened. I--I ran after Aglaya Ivanovna, but Nastasia Philipovna fell down in a faint; and since that day they won't let me see Aglaya--that's all I know."
"It's all the same; you ought to have run after Aglaya though the other was fainting."
"Yes, yes, I ought--but I couldn't! She would have died--she would have killed herself. You don't know her; and I should have told Aglaya everything afterwards--but I see, Evgenie Pavlovitch, you don't know all. Tell me now, why am I not allowed to see Aglaya? I should have cleared it all up, you know. Neither of them kept to the real point, you see. I could never explain what I mean to you, but I think I could to Aglaya. Oh! my God, my God! You spoke just now of Aglaya's face at the moment when she ran away. Oh, my God! I remember it! Come along, come along-- quick!" He pulled at Evgenie's coat-sleeve nervously and excitedly, and rose from his chair.
"Where to?"
"Come to Aglaya--quick, quick!"
"But I told you she is not at Pavlofsk. And what would be the use if she were?"
"Oh, she'll understand, she'll understand!" cried the prince, clasping his hands. "She would understand that all this is not the point--not a bit the real point--it is quite foreign to the real question."
"How can it be foreign? You ARE going to be married, are you not? Very well, then you are persisting in your course. ARE you going to marry her or not?"
"Yes, I shall marry her--yes."
"Then why is it 'not the point'?"
"Oh, no, it is not the point, not a bit. It makes no difference, my marrying her--it means nothing."
"How 'means nothing'? You are talking nonsense, my friend. You are marrying the woman you love in order to secure her happiness, and Aglaya sees and knows it. How can you say that it's 'not the point'?"
"Her happiness? Oh, no! I am only marrying her--well, because she wished it. It means nothing--it's all the same. She would certainly have died. I see now that that marriage with Rogojin was an insane idea. I understand all now that I did not understand before; and, do you know, when those two stood opposite to one another, I could not bear Nastasia Philipovna's face! You must know, Evgenie Pavlovitch, I have never told anyone before--not even Aglaya--that I cannot bear Nastasia Philipovna's face." (He lowered his voice mysteriously as he said this.) You described that evening at Nastasia Philipovna's (six months since) very accurately just now; but there is one thing which you did not mention, and of which you took no account, because you do not know. I mean her FACE--I looked at her face, you see. Even in the morning when I saw her portrait, I felt that I could not BEAR to look at it. Now, there's Vera Lebedeff, for instance, her eyes are quite different, you know. I'm AFRAID of her face!" he added, with real alarm.
"You are AFRAID of it?"
"Yes--she's mad!" he whispered, growing pale.
"Do you know this for certain?" asked Evgenie, with the greatest curiosity.
"Yes, for certain--quite for certain, now! I have discovered it ABSOLUTELY for certain, these last few days."
"What are you doing, then?" cried Evgenie, in horror. "You must be marrying her solely out of FEAR, then! I can't make head or tail of it, prince. Perhaps you don't even love her?"
"Oh, no; I love her with all my soul. Why, she is a child! She's a child now--a real child. Oh! you know nothing about it at all, I see."
"And are you assured, at the same time, that you love Aglaya too?"
"Yes--yes--oh; yes!"
"How so? Do you want to make out that you love them BOTH?"
"Yes--yes--both! I do!"
"Excuse me, prince, but think what you are saying! Recollect yourself!"
"Without Aglaya--I--I MUST see Aglaya!--I shall die in my sleep very soon--I thought I was dying in my sleep last night. Oh! if Aglaya only knew all--I mean really, REALLY all! Because she must know ALL--that's the first condition towards understanding. Why cannot we ever know all about another, especially when that other has been guilty? But I don't know what I'm talking about--I'm so confused. You pained me so dreadfully. Surely--surely Aglaya has not the same expression now as she had at the moment when she ran away? Oh, yes! I am guilty and I know it--I know it! Probably I am in fault all round--I don't quite know how--but I am in fault, no doubt. There is something else, but I cannot explain it to you, Evgenie Pavlovitch. I have no words; but Aglaya will understand. I have always believed Aglaya will understand--I am assured she will."
"No, prince, she will not. Aglaya loved like a woman, like a human being, not like an abstract spirit. Do you know what, my poor prince? The most probable explanation of the matter is that you never loved either the one or the other in reality."
"I don't know--perhaps you are right in much that you have said, Evgenie Pavlovitch. You are very wise, Evgenie Pavlovitch--oh! how my head is beginning to ache again! Come to her, quick--for God's sake, come!"
"But I tell you she is not in Pavlofsk! She's in Colmina."
"Oh, come to Colmina, then! Come--let us go at once!"
"No--no, impossible!" said Evgenie, rising.
"Look here--I'll write a letter--take a letter for me!"
"No--no, prince; you must forgive me, but I can't undertake any such commissions! I really can't."
And so they parted.
Evgenie Pavlovitch left the house with strange convictions. He, too, felt that the prince must be out of his mind.
"And what did he mean by that FACE--a face which he so fears, and yet so loves? And meanwhile he really may die, as he says, without seeing Aglaya, and she will never know how devotedly he loves her! Ha, ha, ha! How does the fellow manage to love two of them? Two different kinds of love, I suppose! This is very interesting--poor idiot! What on earth will become of him now?"
在前面一章所叙述的事件发生后过了两个星期,我们故事里人物的状况有了很大的变化,因此不做些特别的解释,我们是很难继续下去的。但是我觉得,应该限于最简单地阐明事实,尽可能不做别的解释,原因也很简单:因为有许多情况笔者自己也难以解释清楚所发生的事情。我做这种事先声明必然使读者觉得相当奇怪和不明白:怎能叙述既无明确概念又无个人意见的事情呢?为了不致使自己处于更为尴尬的境地,最好还是举例加以说明,也许,厚意的读者会理解我为难在什么地方,再说这个例子不是插话,相反是故事的真正和直接的继续。
过了两个星期,也就是已经到了7月初。在这两个星期中我们主人公的故事,特别是这个故事最近发生的变故,变成了一件奇怪的、相当逗人的、几乎是难以置信的、同时又引人瞩目的轶闻,渐渐地沿着与列别杰夫、普季岑、达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜、叶潘钦家邻近的所有街道传播开来,简言之,几乎全城甚至郊区都在流传,差不多整个社会——本地居民,别墅客,来听音乐的人——全部谈论着同一个故事的各种不同的说法,说什么有一位公爵在一家有名的受尊敬的人家出了丑,抛弃了已经是他未婚妻的这家人家的小姐,迷恋了一个有名的风流女子,断绝了一切过去的关系,并且不顾一切,不顾威吓,不顾众人的忿怒,打算日内跟这个被玷辱了的女人结婚,就在帕夫洛夫斯克这里当众公开举行婚礼,而且要昂起头,直面众人,这件轶事渐渐被添加了许多丑闻,其中涉及到许多有名的要人,还使其赋有各种荒诞离奇和神秘莫恻的色彩,而从另一方面来说,这一轶事又以许多无可辩驳的一目了然的事实呈现在人们面前,因而大家的好奇心和流言蜚语当然是非常情有可原的。最精细、巧妙同时又近乎情理的说法归于几位颇有身份的流言专家,他们属于有理智的阶层,在每个社交界总是急于最先向别人解释清楚事件的来龙去脉,将此看做是自己使命,还往往觉得是一种乐趣。照他们的说法,一位有着高贵姓氏的年青公爵,几乎是位富翁,痴呆者,但是个民主派,还倾心于屠格涅夫先生揭露的现代虚无主义,几乎不大会说俄语,爱上了叶潘钦将军的女儿并且到了将军家把他看做未婚夫这一步。报上则刊登了一则关于一个法国教会学校学生的轶事。这个学生故意做出献身当神父的举动,故意自己请求授予这一神职,履行了全套仪式,各种各样的崇敬、敬吻、宣誓等等,却是为了在第二天致函自己的主教公开宣称他不信上帝,认为欺骗人民和白白由人民来供养是可耻的,因而他要辞去昨天的圣职,要把自己的信函刊登在自由派的报纸上,公爵就像这个无神论者一样仿佛玩弄了这一类假把戏,他们说,仿佛他故意等待未婚妻的父母召集一个隆重的晚会,把他介绍给许多要人,以便当众大声宣布自己的思维方式,咒骂受人尊敬的达官贵人,当众侮辱性地拒绝自己的未婚妻,并且在抗拒要将他带出去的仆人时打碎了一只漂亮的中国花瓶。他们还以详述当代风尚的形式对此事补充说,头脑不清的年轻人确实是爱自己未婚妻即将军的女儿的,但却拒绝了她,唯一的原因是虚无主义和为了制造未来的丑闻,他这样做是为了不放弃当着整个上流社会的面与一个堕落的女人结婚的乐趣,并以此证明,在他的信念里既没有堕落的女人也没有有道德的女人,有的只是自由的女人;他不相信上流社会和古老的区分女人的概念,他只相信“妇女问题”。说到底,在他眼里堕落的女人甚至还比不堕落的要高尚些。这种解释好像相当可信并为大多数别墅客所接受。何况每天发生的事实也证实了这一点。确实,许多事情是没有解释清楚的,据他们说,可怜的姑娘是那么爱她的未婚夫(照有些人的说法是“勾引者”),在他抛弃她的第二天便跑去找他,而他正坐在自己的情妇身边;另外有些人则要人们相信,相反,她是被他故意引到情妇那里去的,这纯粹是他的虚无主义作祟,也就是为了羞辱和侮弄姑娘,不论怎样,人们对事件的兴趣与日俱增,何况具有丑闻性质的婚礼确实即将举行,这一点已不存丝毫怀疑。
所以,假若要我解释清楚——当然不是关于事件的虚无主义色彩,而只不过是这样一些问题:拟定的婚礼在多大程度上满足了公爵的真实愿望?此刻这些愿望究竟是什么?眼下究竟如何确定我们主人公的心态?诸如此类等等,那么我承认,是非常难以回答的。我只知道一点,婚礼确实已经拟定了日期,公爵本人全权委托给列别杰夫,凯勒尔以及列别杰夫为此事介绍给公爵的某一个熟人,由他们承担起操办这件事的全部事务,无论是教会方面的还是日常方面的;还吩咐了不要舍不得花钱;婚礼是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜催促和坚持要办的;凯勒尔被指定担任公爵的傧相,这是他自己强烈要求讨得的差使,而纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的傧相则是布尔多夫斯基,他欣喜地接受了使命;婚礼的日子确定在7月初。但是除了这些相当确切的情况外,我还知晓的某些事实完全地把我弄糊涂了,因为它们恰恰与前面所说的是相矛盾的。比如,我坚决怀疑,在全权委托列别杰夫和其他人承办一切事务之后,公爵几乎当天就忘了他有了婚礼总管,有了傧相,有了婚期;如果说他急于做出安排,把一切操办的事都交给别人,那么纯粹是为了使自己不去想这件事,也许,甚至是想尽快忘了这件事。在这种境况下他自己究竟在想什么?他想要记住什么,追求什么,同样没有怀疑的是,这件事上没有任何强加于他的因素(比如说来自纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜方面的压力);纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜确实希望一定要尽快举行婚礼,而且也是她而不是公爵想出来要这样做;但是公爵爽快地答应了,甚至似乎漫不经心,仿佛向他请求做一件相当平常的事一样。我面前这样奇怪的事实很多,但是,这些事实不仅不能讲清楚,据我看,无论举出多少,反而会把阐明的真相槁糊涂了;但是,我还要再举一个例子。
我完全知道,在这两个星期中公爵白天晚上都和纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜呆在一起;她带他随自己去散步,去听音乐;他每天与她乘马车兜风;只要有1个小时没有见到她,公爵就开始牵挂她(从一切迹象来看,他是真心爱她的),无论她对他说什么,整整几小时他都带着安详温和的微笑听着,自己则几乎不说一句话。但是我也知道,在这些日子里有好几次,甚至许多次,他突然去叶潘钦家,也不向纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜隐瞒这一点,为此她几乎陷于绝望。我知道,叶潘钦家留在帕夫洛夫斯克期间没有接待他,要求与阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜会晤也总受到拒绝;他一声不吭地走了,而第二天又到她们家去,仿佛完全忘了昨天遭到拒绝的事,当然,得到的是新的拒绝。我也知道,在阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜从纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那儿跑出来后过了1小时,也许,甚至还不到1小时,公爵已经在叶潘钦家,当然,他深信能在那里找到阿格拉娅,于是他的到来引起了叶潘钦家的异常困惑和惊恐,因为阿格拉娅还没有回家,他们从公爵那里才第一次听说,她和他一起去了纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那儿。据说,叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜、她的另两个女儿、甚至ω公爵当时对公爵的态度异常生硬、不友好,当时他们还措辞激烈地表示拒绝与他来往和交朋友,特别是瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔还利翁诺夫娜突然来见叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜并声称阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜已经在她家将近1小时之后;她还说,阿格拉娅目前的状态非常糟糕,看来,不想回家。这一个最新消息使叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜最为震惊,而且是完全真实的:从纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那里出来后,阿格拉娅确实认为,与其是现在面对自己的家人,不如去死,因此才投奔尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜。瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜当即就认为有必要,一刻也不延缓地,把这一切情况通知叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜。于是母亲及其另两位女儿马上起往尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜家,跟在她们后面的是一家之主、刚刚到家的伊万·费奥多罗维奇;列夫·尼古拉耶维奇不顾他们的驱逐和不客气的言辞,跟在他们后面慢慢走着;但是,瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜吩附了,那里的人也没有放他去见阿格拉娅。不过,事情的结局是,阿格拉娅一看见为她伤心落泪并丝毫也不责怪她的母亲和姐姐,便扑到她们怀里,立即跟她们一起回家了。据说(虽然传闻不完全确切),加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇这一回也仍然极不走运,他抓住瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达到翁诺夫娜跑去见叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜的时机,单独与阿洛拉娅在一起,想要表白自己对她的爱情;阿格拉娅不顾自己的苦恼和流泪,听着他讲,突然哈哈大笑又突然向他提了奇怪的问题:为了证明自己的爱情,他现在是否敢在蜡烛上烧自己的手指?据说,加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇为这一提议惊呆了,竟然不知所措,脸上现出异常的困惑;致使阿格拉娅歇斯底里地冲她放声大笑、离开他跑到楼上尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜那里去,她的父母就在那里找到她的。这一轶闻是第二天由伊波利特传到公爵这儿的,已经不能起床的伊波利特特地派人去叫公爵并告诉他这条消息:这一传闻怎么传到伊波利特这儿的,我不知道,但是当公爵听到要在蜡烛上烧手指这一节时,便放声大笑起来,甚至使伊波利特也觉得惊讶,后来公爵又突然打起颤来,泪如雨下。总之,在这些日子里他惶惶不安,六神无主,浑浑沌沌,痛苦异常。伊波利特干脆断言,认为他神经不正常,但是无论如何还不能肯定这一点。
提供这些事实,又拒绝做出解释,我决不是想在读者面前为我们的主人公辩解。况且,我完全愿意分担他所激起的朋友对他的忿恨。甚至维拉·列别杰娃有一段时间对他也很忿恨,连科利亚也气不忿;还有凯勒尔也忿忿不平,直到挑选他当傧相;更不用说列别杰夫本人了,他甚至开始耍花招反对公爵。也是出于愤慨,而且是相当真诚的。但关于这些我以后再说。总之我完全同意和相当赞赏叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇所说的相当有力的,甚至是心理分析非常深刻的那些话。那是在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜家的事情发生后的第六或第七天,他在与公爵的友好交谈中直截了当和不客气地说出来的。顺便要指出,不仅仅叶潘饮自己一家,还有所有与他家有直接或间接关系的人部认为必须跟公爵断绝一切关系,比方说ω公爵遇见公爵时甚至转过身去,不向他点头行礼。但是叶甫益尼·帕夫洛维奇不怕因拜访公爵而损害自己的名誉,也不顾每天又去叶潘钦家并受到必然特别殷勤好客的接待。他是在叶潘钦全家离开帕夫洛夫斯克的第二天到公爵那儿去的,进去时他已经知道外面传扬的种种流盲查语,甚至他自己也许也部分地起了椎波助澜的作用。公爵见到他高兴得不得了,马上就谈起了叶潘钦家的情况;这样朴实和直率的开端使叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇完全不受拘束,因此他无须转弯抹角,直截了当地谈正事。
公爵还不知道叶潘钦家已经离去;获悉消息后他很吃惊,脸也变苍白了;但是过了一会儿也就摇了播头,颇为困窘和若有所思地承认说,“这是必然的。”后来又很快探询着:“他们去哪里了?”
当时叶甫益尼·帕夫洛维奇用心观察了他,所有这一切。即急切而又质朴的提问,困窘同时又有一种奇怪的但率,惶惶不安和兴奋激动,——这一切都使他吃惊不小。不过,他还是亲切而详尽地告诉了公爵一切:公爵许多情况还不知道,因而叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇是来自叶潘钦家的第一位信使。他证实,阿格拉娅确实病了,而且整整三天三夜没有睡着,一直发烧,现在她好些了,已没有任何危险,但是处于神经质的、歇斯底里的状态……“幸好家里一片安宁”对于过去的事不仅当着阿格拉娅的面竭力不提,甚至其余人私下里也不谈及。父母已经彼此商定,等到秋天阿杰莱达结婚后全家去国外旅行;阿格拉娅默默地接受了关于此事的初步议论。” 他,叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇也可能去国外。甚至ω公爵可能也打算与阿杰菜达一起去度过二个月国外生活,如果事务允许离开的话。将军本人将会留下来。现在大家搬到他们的庄园科尔米诺去了,离彼得堡20俄里,那里有一幢宽敞的供主人住的房子。别洛孔斯卡娅还没有去莫斯科,甚是好像是故意留下来的,叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜强烈地坚持,在发生这一切后不可能再留在帕夫洛夫斯克;他,叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇每天告诉她城里的传闻。他们认为搬到叶拉京的别墅去住也是不可能的。
“是啊,实际上,”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇补充说,“您自己也会同意,这能否叫人受得了……尤其是知道您这儿,您家里每时每刻都在做的事,公爵,还有,尽管人家拒绝,您却仍然每天去那里求见……”
“是的,是的,您说得对,我是想见阿格拉娜·伊万诺夫娜……”公爵又摇起头来。
“啊,亲爱的公爵,”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇突然又兴奋又忧愁地嚷道,“当时您怎么能让……这一切发生的呢?当然,当然,这一切对您来说是这么出其不意……我承认,您必然会茫然失措的……而且无法阻失去理智的姑娘,这不是您力所能及的!但是,您可应该明白,这位姑娘对您……爱得认真和强烈到了何等地步。她不愿意与另一个女人分享这种爱,而您……您却能舍弃和毁掉这样的宝贝!”
“是的,是的,您说得对;是的,是我错,”公爵十分忧郁地说,“您要知道,只有她一个人,仅仅只有阿格拉娅一个人才这样看待纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜……其他任何人可都不是这样看待她的。”
“这没有什么大不了的,因而这一切更令人气愤!”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇十分激动地嚷了起来,“请原谅我、公爵,但是……我……我考虑过这件事,公爵,我反来复去想了许多;我了解过去发生的一切,我了解半年前的一切,了解一切,而所有这一切--没什么大不了!这一切只不过是头脑发热时的倾心,逢场作戏,想入非非,过眼烟云,只有完全没有经验的姑娘出于其惊慌失措的嫉妒才把这当做什么了不起的事情!”
此时叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇已经完全不讲客气,放任地发泄自己的愤懑。他极富理智、条理清晰,甚至,我再说一遍,心理分析十分深刻地向公爵展现了一幅过去公爵与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜全部关系的图景。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇一向具有口才,现在则达到了滔滔不绝的地步。“从最初起,”他宣称,“您就是以虚假开始的;凡是以虚假开始的,必定是以虚假告终的,这是自然法则。我不认为,甚至感到气忿,人家——嘿,反正有人——把您叫做白痴;对于这样的称呼来说您是大聪明了;但是您又是这么怪,不像大家一样,您自己也会承认的。我认为,整个事情发生的基础是:首先是由于,这么说吧、您天生的没有经验(公爵,请注意‘天生的’这个字眼),其次是由于您非常朴实,再有是异常缺少分寸感(您自己已经好几次意识到这一点了);最后是积滤在您头脑里的大量观念,您老实得不同一般,至今还把它们当作是真正的,固有的,自然的观念!您自己会承认,公爵,您与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫鹰的关系从一开始就罩上了一层相对民主性的东西(为了简便,我这样表达),被所谓‘妇女问题所吸引(为了更简单地表达)。我可是确切地了解罗戈任送钱来发生在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜家里的整场怪诞的丑剧的。您愿意的话,我可以把你们一个个详详细细分析给您听,把您本人像照镜子一样照给您看,对于事情的来龙去脉以及为什么会变成这样的原因,我知道得非常确切!作为一个青年,您在瑞士渴念着祖国,如向往一片神秘莫测的乐土那样渴望回到俄罗斯;您读了许多有关俄国的书,也许,是些非常好的书,但对您来说却是有害的;您怀着渴望干一番事业的一腔热情回来了,这么说吧,想要好好干一场!就在那一天,有人对您讲了一个有关受侮辱的女子的忧伤而揪心的故事,对您,亦即对一个骑士,一个童男子讲——而且是讲女人!那一天您看见了这个女人;您被她的美貌迷住了,这是神话般、仙女孩子似的美貌(我也承认她是美人)。加上您的神经质;加上您的癫痫病;加上我们彼得堡那损害神经的解冻天气;加上整整这一天,您处在一个陌生的、对您来说几乎是光怪陆离的城市,经历了许多会见和场面,出乎意外地结识了不少人,接触到了万万意料不到的现实,看到了叶潘钦家的三位美女,其中包括阿格拉娅;加上劳累、头晕;加上纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的客厅以及这客厅的氛围,还有……在那样的时刻,您对自己能期待什么呢,您怎么想?”
“对,对;对,对,”公爵摇着头,开始脸红了,“是的,这几乎就是这么回事;知道吗,上一夜在火车上我确实几乎鳖夜未睡,前天鳖夜也是,而且心境也很不好……”
“是啊,当然是这样,我的用意是什么呢?”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇激动地继续说,“很明显,可以说,您沉醉于欣喜之中,急于寻找机会当众宣布豁达大变的思想:您,一个出身望族的公爵和纯洁清白的人,不认为一个并非由于她的过错而是由于上流社会可恶的淫棍的罪孽遭到污辱的女人是可耻的女人。哦,上帝,这可是能够理解的!但是问题的症结不在这里,亲爱的公爵,而在于:您的感情是否真实,是否诚挚?是实际情况,还是仅仅是一时头脑发热?您怎么想:在神圣的殿堂里这样一个女人得到了宽恕,但是你没有对她说,她干得好,她应得到一切荣誉和尊敬。经过三个月以后,难免健全的理性没有向您自己提示,这是怎么回事吗?好,就算她现在是无辜的,——我不坚持这一点,因为我不愿意,——但是她的所有遭遇难道能让她如此不能容忍的、魔鬼般的高傲、为她如此厚颜无耻、如此贪得无厌的利己主义辩解吗?请原谅,公爵,我太激动了,但是……”
“是的,这一切是可能的;也许,您是对的……”公爵又呐呐说,“她确实很容易恼火,您说得对,当然,但是……”
“值得同情?您是想说这个,我的善良的公爵?但是为了同情她,满足她,难道就可以玷辱另一位高尚、纯洁的姑娘?就可以在那双傲慢的充满憎恨的眼睛面前贬低她?这以后这种同情将会达到什么地步?这可是一种不可思议的夸大!难道可以爱一个姑娘却又在她的情敌面前贬低她,为了另一个女人,并且当着另一个女人的面抛弃她?而且这一切又是在自己已经向她正式求婚之后发生的……您不是向她求婚了吗?不是当着她父母和姐姐的面向她说这话的吗?有了这一切以后,公爵,请问问您自己,难道你还是个正人君子吗?还有……您使她相信您爱她,难道您不是欺骗了一个天仙般的姑娘吗?”
“是的,是的,您说得对,啊,我觉得我有错!”公爵陷于难以形容的苦恼之中,说。
“难道这就够了吗?”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇忿忿地嚷了起来,“难道光凭喊‘啊,我有错!’就够了吗?您有错,可您却一意孤行!那时您的良心,那‘基督的’良心在什么地方?您可是看到那一刻她的脸的:她的痛苦比一个,比您那个拆散人家的女人少吗?您怎么能看着听之任之呢?怎么能这样?”
“可……我可没有听之任之……”可怜的公爵嘟哝着说。
“怎么没有听之任之?”
“真的,我一点也没有听之任之。至今我也不明白,怎么会弄成这样的……我……我当时去追阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜的,而纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜却昏倒了;后来又一直不放我会见阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜,直至现在。”
“这无济于事!您应该出追阿格拉娅,尽管那个女人昏倒了!”
“是的……是的……,我应该……可她会死去的!她会自杀的,您不了解她,……反正以后我会把一切都告诉阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜的,还有……要知道,叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇,我看出来,好像您并不全知道。请告诉我。为什么他们不让我去见阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜?不然我可以对她把一切解释清楚。要知道,当时她们俩说的都不是要说的话,根本不是,因此才造成了这样的结果……我怎么也无法对您讲清楚这点;但是,也许我能向阿格拉娅解释清楚……啊,我的上帝,我的上帝!您说到了那时她的脸,那时她怎么跑出去…… 我的上帝,我都记得:我们走吧,我们走吧!”他从座位上急急跳起来,突然拽着叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇的袖子说。
“去哪儿?”
“我们会见阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜,立即就去!……”
“可是她已不在帕夫洛夫斯克了,我说过了,再说去干什么?”
“她会理解的,她会理解的!”公爵合拢双手作祈求状,嘀咕着说,“她会理解到这一切不是那么回事,而完完全全是另一回事!”
“怎么完全是另一回事?您不是仍然要结婚吗?看来,您是一意孤行……您到底结不结婚?”
“嗯,是的……要结婚;是的,要结婚!”
“那怎么说不是那么回事?”
“哦,不,不是那么回事,不是那么回事!我要结婚,这,这反正就这样了,这没有关系!”
“怎么反正就这样和没有关系?这可不是小事呀?您跟心爱的女人结婚,为她缔造幸福,而阿格拉娅看见和知道这一切,怎么反正就这样呢?”
“幸福?哦,不!我只不过是结个婚而已,她要这样;再说结婚又有什么!找……嘿,反正就这样!不然她一定会死的。我现在才看出,她与罗戈任结婚是疯狂的举动。过去我不理解的事,现在全都明白了,您知道,当时她们俩彼此面对面站着,我简直不能忍受纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的脸……您不知道,叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇(他神秘地压低了噪子),我从来也没有对谁说过这一点,甚至也没有对阿格拉娅说过,但我实在不忍看到纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那张脸……刚才您谈到那时在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜家举行的晚会,您说得对,但是这里您还漏掉一点,因为您不知道:我看到了她的脸!那天上午我就不忍看照片上她的脸……您看维拉·列别杰娃就宣传是另一双眼睛……我……我怕看她的脸!”他异常骇怕地补充说。
“您怕?”
“是的,她是个疯女人。”他脸色发白,低声嘟哝说。
“您确实知道这一点吗?”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇异常好奇地问。
“是的,确实知道,现在已经确实无疑:现在,这些天里,我已经完全确实地知道了!”
“那您在对自己干什么吗?”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇惊呼道,“这么说,您是因为害怕才结婚喏?这真让人莫名其妙……也许,甚至不爱她而结婚?”
“哦,不,我全心全意爱她。可这是个……孩子,现在她是个孩子,完全是个孩子!哦,您什么也不知道!”
“而同时您又要阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜相信您的爱情!”
“哦,是的,是的!”
“怎么能这样?这么说,您想爱两个人?”
“哦,是的,是的!”
“得了吧,公爵,您在说什么吗,清醒清醒吧!”
“没有阿格拉娅,我……我一定要见到她!我……我很快就会在梦中死去;我想,今天夜里我就会在梦中死去。哦,假如阿格拉娅知道,知道一切就好了……一定要知道一切。因为这件事必须得知道一切,这是首要的!为什么我们从来都不能了解有关别人的全部情况,而这是必要的,尤其是这个人有过错的时候!……不过,我不知道我在说什么,我心乱如麻;您让我吃惊得不得了……难道现在她脸上的表情还像当时跑出来时那副模样?哦,是的,我有错!最大可能是一切都是我的错!我还不知道究竟错在那里,但是我有错……这里有我无法向您解释清楚的东西,但是……阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜是会理解的!哦,我始终相信,她是会理解的。”
“不,公爵,她不会理解的:阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜爱您,是一个女人的爱,是一个活生生的人的爱,而不是……抽象的神灵的爱。知道吗,我可怜的公爵:最确切的是,无论是这个还是那个您从来都没有爱过!”
“我不知道……也许是这样,也许是这样;您在许多方面是对的,叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇。您非常聪明,叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇;啊,我又开始头痛了,我们到她那儿去吧!看在上帝份上,看在上帝份上!”
“我不是告诉您了,她已不在帕夫洛夫斯克了,她在科尔米诺。”
“我们就去科尔米诺,马上就去!”
“这不-可-能!”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇站起身,拉长了调子说。
“听着,我写封信,您把信带去!”
“不,公爵,不!您免了这样的委托吧,我不能!”
他们分了手。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇离开的时候有一种奇怪的念头:他得出的看法是公爵有点精神不正常。他又怕又爱的这张脸究竟意味着什么?同时,他确实会因为没有阿格拉娅而死去,那么阿格拉娅也许永远也不会知道,他是何等爱她!哈-哈!怎么能两个都爱?是用两种不同的方式爱吗?这倒很有意思……可怜的白痴!现在他会怎样呢?”