It was wrong. So wrong. And I didn’t care. Like I had so many times before, I was willingly bad.
He let out a whimper, his hands disappearing in my hair, his kiss becoming feverish, it in turn spurring me on. Urgency rippled through us. I started ripping off his jersey, pulling it over his head, suddenly eager to feel his smooth, dark skin underneath my hands, the sun warming us. It felt like heaven and hell and danger to the touch.
His hands frantically found my breasts and grabbed a hold of the V-neck, ripping the shirt clear down the middle, the lace tearing easily. Then he sat up, overpowering me and bringing me to the ground. He buried his face in my breasts, letting out a happy grunt when he discovered my nipple ring for the first time, giving it a sharp tug with his teeth and a soothing lick after to calm my cries.
I ran my nails down his back, digging them in when the passion ran over, then took my hands to his jeans and groped hard at his erection. The moan I elicited out of him made me wet as water and I started grinding myself into him in pure impatience. I fumbled for the fly of his jeans and pulled them down to his knees, wrapping my legs around his bare ass, holding his length against me.
He pulled up my skirt until it was around my waist and tore my cheap thong off with one smooth motion. His lips and teeth went to my neck, biting hard and sucking slow, making my back arch with each touch. His fingers found their way inside me, stroking and rubbing in all the right places until I moaned.
“I need you inside me,” I cried out as he swirled his hot finger around my clit, my hips bucking for more.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he grunted, mouth at my ear, tongue flicking my lobe. “Tell me that you’re mine then I’ll take you.”
His other hand went to my breast and pulled at the nipple ring again. God damn it, I was going to lose it before it even started.
“I’m yours,” I said, my voice shaking. I closed my eyes and threw my head back. “I’m all yours.”
“You always were,” he said and he reached down and inserted himself in me with one hard thrust. I felt the small of my back meet with the earth, a sharp pain that melted away to pleasure as he continued thrusting hard, his ass powering through and flexing hotly under my fingers.
He couldn’t go hard enough, fast enough, deep enough. I wanted him, all of him, I wanted everything to explode, I wanted stars and heat and waves that would carry me onto another day. I wanted to go back in time before this mess ever started, when it was just him and I and I didn’t know any better and we had a home and a place where we could be us.
Javier let out a small cry as I ran my nails down his chest, his eyes blazing into mine, a yellow-gold dream as his face furrowed with the need to release. I needed it too.
He gave it his all, his taut muscles straining, sweat streaming off of him and pooling on mine, the sun bearing down on him from behind the orange trees, making his back glow. He pounded himself deeper, his fingers coming down bringing me to the brink again. I closed my eyes and felt myself fill up with the waves, the energy he was creating, the pressure between my legs that built up and up and up until I had to let go.
I cried out, swearing, my nails digging into his ass and lower back as he let out what could only be described as a roar, his body stiffening. He came hard inside of me, his eyes rolling back in his head.
He held that position, one frozen in the pain of pure pleasure, before exhaling and crumbling on top of me, his elbows propping up most of his body weight, his head now on my chest. I caught the smell of his shampoo and closed my eyes, my breath struggling to catch up, our chests rising and falling against each other in unison.
We lay like that for some time, breathing, being. And when the passion, the dream-like state of our fucking wore off, I was left with thoughts I didn’t want to think. Guilt for what I had done. Disgust for who I had done it with.
And yet, a sick part of me didn’t regret a thing. It felt destined, bound to happen, something that had never come full circle until now. There was a sense of closure and peace that settled over us, like the tiny white petals that were flying through the air, swept in by the afternoon breeze.
“Ellie,” Javier said. “Yes?”
“You’ve gotten wilder.”
“Have I?”
“Yes. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle you anymore.”
I smiled to myself but it quickly faded.
I didn’t know how I was going to handle myself either.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CAMDEN
I dreamed of Ellie again.
We were back in the large cavernous room, no walls, no ceiling, just a darkness that went on forever. The ground was black satin sheets disappearing into infinity.
Ellie was on the sheets, in cheesy white lingerie she’d never wear in real life but it made me happy to see her in such a frivolous thing. She looked amazing, curvy and soft, crawling toward me on all fours, her breasts pushed up to her throat. Every part of me itched to touch her, hold her, possess her. I felt like if I didn’t, she’d be taken away, becoming someone else’s.
“Ellie,” a voice called out from the distance. Deep, dark, ominous. “Eden, Eleanor, Ellen, Emily, Elaine,”
Ellie turned her head to look, freezing on the spot.
“Ellie,” I tried to call to her, to get her to notice me, to keep crawling. But the words were lost in the room, sucked away.
Suddenly a cold wind blasted me, ice crystals forming on my glasses. I cleared them off in time to see Ellie slowly getting to her feet and walking the other way.
“Don’t go!” I yelled though my voice came out in a whisper.
She stopped and turned her head to the side, barely looking at me before averting her eyes down.
“He says he’ll make me his queen. I have to go.”
I made a move for her but only got about a foot before I wasn’t able to move anymore. I was frozen in place, crystalizing from the bottom up.
A black shape formed behind her, growing in the moment, something so large and dense and malevolent that it seemed to take up all the space in the room, in the world, the universe. A flash of white teeth, coming for her.
Run, I screamed in my head. Ellie did not. She smiled in awe and stuck her hand out to touch the beast, it disappearing into the blackness.
Then she screamed and yanked her hand out. It was covered in blood.
Run, Run, Run.
And she did.
She tried.
She turned and tried to run but fell to the sheets.
The black beast descended on her. It grabbed her by the legs, swallowing them whole with that inky darkness.
Ellie screamed for me, fear taking over her eyes, her fingers desperately grasping the satin sheets, trying not to be taken.
The beast dragged her back and devoured her until there was nothing left but the abyss.
And there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it.
When I came to, for one split second, I thought I was back in Sins & Needles, lying on the floor of my tattoo parlor. I thought maybe everything had been a dream and I hadn’t tortured anyone for information or ignited someone’s face on fire or was on the run from the law. I thought maybe none of it happened and I was Camden McQueen again, a good boy. Weak, but good. There was a sense of relief in that.
Then my eyes started to focus on the ceiling and I realized that I wasn’t in a tattoo parlor, I was in a veterinary clinic. I could smell the urine and chemicals and fur, hear the twitterings of various animals. Some woman was leaning over me with a stethoscope in her ears.
“He’s awake. Hello, Camden, I’m Carlotta Valdez.”
I blinked hard and tried to sit up but she pushed me back down with a firm yet delicate hand.
“You’ll be alright, just take it easy. You’re heavily sedated. Gus didn’t know what to do with you, poor man was a little crazy. You’re really lucky, that bullet didn’t hit any arteries. The wound was pretty clean. You’ll heal up nice.”
I closed my eyes, feeling the wooziness sweeping over me. “Where is he? Where am I?”
“You’re in my clinic. Normally I treat dogs and cats but business is a little slow on Fridays, so I made an exception.”
I opened my eyes again and looked at her closely. She was in her mid-thirties, pretty good looking actually. Large nose though it suited her face, good bones, nice, gentle eyes. Her hair was dark and gathered in a tight bun. She seemed trustworthy but I guess it didn’t really matter if she was or not because I was lying on a cold table used to treat ailing pets and felt like I had enough drugs in me to bring down a horse.
“Hey,” I heard Gus’s low voice from beside me. I turned my head to the side and gave him a small smile. He looked like he’d aged ten years, the lines around his eyes deeper. “How does it feel knowing you were shot by the Mexican police?”
“Like I’m on drugs.”
Gus smiled and looked over me at Carlotta. “So am I his nurse now?”
She grinned and tapped her clipboard with her pen. “Yes, you certainly are. Camden will be a good patient I’m sure. He’s much more agreeable than some of the cats I treat. You’ll have to keep him hydrated and his arm needs to stay in the sling for a few weeks.”
“Fuck,” I swore. Being disabled wasn’t going to help me in the long run. I needed to get to Ellie and for that every part of me had to work. The blackness that took her still haunted me.
“I’m sorry,” she said, not sounding very sorry. “But you’ve been shot. So that’s what happens. Be glad that cop wasn’t trying to take your head off, because he could of.” She sighed and looked at Gus, her eyes soft. “I really wish you weren’t doing this, especially with him banged up. It’s too dangerous.”
“We’ll be careful,” Gus said.
Her lips twisted wryly. “I don’t think you’ve been all that careful thus far.”
Gus patted my good arm. “Camden is a lot stronger and smarter than he looks.”
“I’m sure he is. The glasses help.” She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a business card. “I know you have my number already, but here’s my email. Keep me updated. Let me know how he is and if I can do anything to help.”
“You’ve done enough already, Carlotta, thank you.” Gus put his hand behind my shoulder and began to push me up. “Slowly now, Camden.”
I couldn’t move any slower. I felt like I was pushing through quicksand. Once I was up straight, the room spun around until it slowed. Hell, these were some drugs. I was sure my eyes were rolling around in my sockets.
Carlotta appeared by my side with a glass of water and held it to my mouth. “Just a little bit.”
The moment the water hit my lips, I wanted more, all of it, but I held back and eyed her over the rim. “I guess you know why we’re here.”
She nodded. “Yes. Gus was very forthcoming. I’m sorry I can’t be much help. I treat animals and worried pet owners, I don’t know all that much about Travis Raines and the cartels, just what everyone else knows about him.”
“Well, we’ll manage. Thank you for fixing me.”
With great effort, I got to my feet and outside the vet clinic. We came out the back door to where the car was parked. Night had fallen and the GTO looked like a ghostly wreck under the lights of the parking lot.