Chapter 2 : unwelcome guest
The sound of the church bells ringing , the priest addressing the crowd . None of it seemed to reach Sam who was staring beyond the priest , at his old man's casket . His face was blank , void of emotions . His usual look , full of life, is now dimmed . His eyes were wandering all over , observing every inch of the place .Much like an architect trying to find the faults in a building, he was trying to find the faults in his surroundings . Something that didn't make any sense , something that didn't belong… a proof that he might be in a dream . But he found nothing of the sort . Everything was authentic , to a sickening extent . but still the feeling of something that didn't belong was still there . It was making his heart ache , maybe he's the one that didn't belong here . Or perhaps it's his father … because after all , this is not how it's supposed to be . His father's presence in a room meant joy , excitement and life itself for him . His presence bringing sorrow to everyone present was strange to him . He has always remembered him for his smile , his kindness . It brought back a certain memory into his head .
An 8 years old Sam , running around on the green grass in a vast park , a grin on his joyful face . From a distance , his father was watching him , a proud , content smile brightening his troubled face. That's right , you're the pride of my journey . You're the reason for me to desperately hold on to life , the best thing that ever happened to me , those were the thoughts gracing his mind .
Noticing the sun begging to set , John slowly got up and called out to his son . " Sam , it's getting late , it's time to go home . " The boy ran to his father with a wide smile on his face , like a loving puppy running back to his owner .
" Is it already this late , Dad ? " Asked the boy as he watched the sun , slowly slipping down from a distance .
" That's right , if you hadn't come , I would've gone without you . " The boy's face fell and he looked at his dad , his joy replaced with fear .
" What ? No , no, please don't leave me . I'll be a good boy , don't leave me alone . " He begged , tears now falling freely . John quickly engulfed Sam in a warm embrace , regretting his little joke.
" Alright, alright . I won't leave you alone , it was a joke . So stop crying okay ? . " Sam rubbed his red eyes with his tiny hands as he got out from his father's embrace . " Really ? "
John smiled kindly as he ruffled the boy's hair .
" That's right , I will never leave you . " That's right , that's it , that's the smile that would always light up his whole world . That image of his father …
'liar '
But sadly that image is no longer there . It's now missing the most precious thing . Its brightness turned into darkness .
' liar '
Like a glass colliding with a brick wall , the image has shattered in his mind . Replaced with the lifeless figure of his father moments before his death .
' liar '
The word kept repeating in his head . That memory was around the time he started to notice his father's illness . Should he call that an illness ? I mean illness usually has a logical cause behind it . Carelessness , infection … but there wasn't any , the doctors would have known if there were any . No , it wasn't an illness .It was a plague , a curse that came crashing on him .
' liar '
It was Turning into slight resentment now .
John knew of his condition , that means he lied to his own son . Gave him a rope to hold into his life , just to cut that rope when he was close to the edge without warning. Ending the false hope he granted him . It was the worst feeling .
The noise of the crowded room forced him out of his thoughts. Sam took his time , observing the little details of the room . On the black wall across from him , hang his father's picture , beneath it his open casket , snow white candles burning faintly surround it , providing some dimmed light to brighten the place . The walls on both his sides were full of quotes and paintings , mostly of a man in white clothing and wings , reaching his hands to the skies . But what took his focus the most was the people . Too many people showed up to his surprise because his father didn't have any friends , not that he knew of any way . Makes him wonder how much his father was actually hiding from him . They were all dressed in black , not a single different color . From a distance they seemed like a pack of Crows .
He always liked the black color , and always found it somewhat intriguing . In some way suitable to his inner nature . But now for the first time , the sight of it makes his skin crawl . It is the reason why he was dressed in gray . The crowd to him was like a pack of Crows , huddling over a dead corpse , ready to tear its flesh to the bone .
What bothered him even more than that was the looks , people were giving him . His father always taught to be prideful , confident so he was disgusted by the looks of pity he was getting . Even when people talked to him , their words and faces showed nothing but empathy and pity , not understanding . For that reason , he hasn't shed a single tear all day . It made things even worse .
Not only did the bottled up emotion take a toll on him . He even heard some people murmuring behind his back .
" That's him , John's kid . " , " He seems older than I expected . " , " I expected him to be a fragile kid but he's tougher than I thought. He has more muscles than me ! " . ' well my dad would train me every day , at everything . Even hand combat . " He thought , looking back at the monstrous training his father would always put him through . He never really understood the reason behind it . Perhaps it was for him to defend himself from bullies . He often found himself an easy target for them , due to his loneliness . At least he was able to defend himself , as he was stronger than an average person and a bit experienced in combat . He thought the bullying would end when he met July and Mike , but it got even worse . Mike and July were the most popular in school , due to their gorgeous looks .
Not that Sam was hideous , he was handsome himself , but was kind of socially awkward . But Mike and July always distanced themselves from people just to be with him . Which made him a bigger target . His ears perked at one particular comment . " It's unsettling that he hasn't shed a tear . You'd think his father's death would bring a tear or two . Makes me wonder , is he even sad his father is gone ? " It came from one of the people who were mumbling behind him. That was the last straw for Sam , his anger started flaring up . The guy gulped when he saw Sam's murderous look . He was just a kid , but that look was able to frighten an old man in his forties . But the thing that made the guy sweat bullets was Sam's eyes . For an instant , he can swear that he saw them turn pitch black before they reverted back to their usual brown color.
" You idiot ! I'm sorry for his rudeness . " Apologized to the woman next to him as she took the guy away . Sam was starting to calm down , but he was still enraged , he could not stand being there for one more second so he walked down the corridor , ignoring the stars and the murmurs directed at him . Once he was outside , he released a breath he didn't know he was holding .Looking around , he spotted an empty bench on the grass field . Seeing no one was around , he marched to it and took a seat . Watching the kids play from a far distance , hearing the happy chirps of birds in the trees nearing him , he was starting to calm down . He watched as a small puppy came to him , barking happily . Sam reached his hand carefully , not to alert the small creature , he petted him gently . The puppy leaned into his touch and wiggled his tail happily , openly expressing his joy . Sam smiled , for the first time that day as he kept petting him . But his smile soon Vanished as he lifted his head and saw a child on swings , giggling happily as he was pushed by his father . He stopped , his eyes held sorrow and pain in them . As if someone was playing a cruel joke on him to see a warm affection between a boy and his father on the day of his father's funeral . ' He seems carefree . I wonder if he will stay the same if his father…'
He shook his head , berating himself for even having such thoughts. He of all people knows the agonizing feeling of it . But still he can't help but envy it . " I went outside to keep my head off of it only to get a live reminder . What a bad joke . " He said bitterly , he looked down when he felt a weight on his lap to find the puppy sitting there , his tail stopped wagging as his eyes were full of worry . Sam felt comfort at the presence of the puppy as he ran his hand through his fur gently and the puppy barked happily .
" You really are man's best friend . Thank you so much . " Sam thanked with a warm , genuine smile as he petted the dog who got up and started running around in circles , making Sam chuckle .
He looked up when he heard some noises to see people leaving the church , one by one until there was no one left .
" I think it's time to get back inside . " He stood up and was about to go when he felt something tingling into his feet . It was the puppy looking at him with concerned eyes , as if he was asking him " Are you gonna be okay ? " Sam knelt down to his level and reached his hand to the puppy .
" I'm gonna be just fine . Thanks to you buddy . "
" Hey Chase, where were you ? " He glanced behind him to see the kid from earlier , running to the dog . He looked one last time at the dog . " Come on , now go . Your family is waiting for you . " He said as he nodded at the dog who barked before he ran to the kid's embrace .
Sam stood up after the puppy left and went inside the church. There was no one inside , not even the priest . Sam started walking through the corridor , running his hands through the wooden seats until he reached the end of the room .
He was now standing in front of his father's casket . He was expecting himself to burst into tears but surprisingly he was calm . Maybe too calm for his liking . He didn't want to show weakness but still he wanted to let go of the emotions weighing his shoulders , making him struggle to even stand up straight . He took a closer look at John's face . It was a strange feeling for him , very odd to describe . It feels just like yesterday his house was filled with laughter and his father was just by his side . To see him now in an opened casket , lying there lifelessly .
It brought new emotions that he didn't care for .
' At least he doesn't look tired . ' he thought, and it was true . Far from it , to Sam he actually seemed peaceful , like he was in deep slumber . Despite the cold face and pale skin , he seemed in a much better condition than when he was alive .
Not to mention the suit . His father was never a suit's man . ' He was always a horrible dresser.' A faint smile crossed his face as he thought back to all the times John would be nervous under the frustrating judgment of the shop owners because nothing looked good on him , he even found it funny . So it was a surprise that it looked perfect this time .
" I gotta say that suit looks good on you . You really killed it . " He commented as he laughed bitterly , trying to make himself feel better . He stopped laughing when he sensed something wet at the bottom of his upper lip coming down from his eyes . He touched his cheek to feel tears streaming down his face .
" Tears ? Wow , I didn't know if I had any left . " He wiped his tears but they kept coming , never showing any signs of stopping. " I'm crying like a little baby , I haven't shed a tear all day . I wonder why they won't stop coming ." His voice cracked at the end as he stared at the ground , his tears falling freely as he didn't try to stop it this time . For the first time today , he wasn't surrounded by people . He wasn't being judged or talked about , he was there alone . He was finally relieving that weight of his shoulders . He was now wailing like a little baby .
" I shouldn't cry like this . If he saw me like this , he would scold me for sure . " He wiped his tears as he thought about him one more time , his father wouldn't want him to cry . No , he would actually say something like " Make it lively . "
' yeah it's like him . '
" Huh , I didn't know anyone else was here . " He heard a soft voice behind him along with the sound of a few steps until it stopped when he was next to him . Sam quickly wiped his tears and focused his attention on the newcomer . He was a light skinned man , raven messy black hair , coat black eyes , strong jaw line . He seemed to be in his late twenties , probably 28 , 29 . But what caught Sam's attention was the guy's body . He was large but not overweight, quite the opposite he was well built and in an amazing shape . His face though bothered Sam . His skin looked youthful and mouth was barely at the same level as his eyes , as if hasn't smiled in ages . There were heavy dark circles under his eyes , ones that usually caused by lack of sleep . But what caught Sam's attention the most were his eyes . They seemed hollow , deprived of life and joy , opposite of a young man his age with a life ahead of him .
" Excuse me … "
" Huh ? "
" No , it's nothing . It's just you've been staring at me for a while so I just wondered if you're okay . 'explained the man with a nervous smile . Sam quickly averted the man's gaze " Sorry , sorry . I didn't mean to . " He spoke faster than usual as he focused his attention back to the coffin to hide his blush . The guy chuckled for a bit as he stared at the coffin as well . An uncomfortable silence fell over the room as they both refused to face each other . ' This is really awkward . Should I say something … '
" He looks really peaceful , doesn't he ? " The old man was the one to break the silence . Sam nodded his head in agreement , if he wasn't in a coffin he would've thought he was just sleeping .
" So how did you know him? A family friend ? "
" He's my father . "
" Really ? " Sam raised an eyebrow at the guy's skeptical tone .
" Why is that so surprising ? "
Even though he knew the guy didn't mean any offense by it , he couldn't help but feel a little anger at the guy's bluntness . The man raised his eyes in defense when he saw Sam's angry look .
" Sorry, sorry I didn't mean it like that . Don't misunderstand me , but you look different more than similar . So I was genuinely surprised ." He apologized with a nervous smile , scratching his head in embarrassment . Sam's anger lessened but it didn't disappear right away until a few moments later . After a moment of silence , Sam spoke again .
" What about you ? How did you know him ? "
" He was my friend . " Sam was surprised of the
Warmth in the guy's voice . ' They must be really close . '
" How long have you known him? "
" I've known him since we were children . We grew up together . " Sam was amazed by the fondness of his voice . And quite surprised that he has never heard about him before .
" A childhood friend ? He never mentioned you before . "
" He didn't, did he ? That's to be expected. "
" How come ? " Asked Sam , raising an eyebrow.
" Well , it's really complicated. You can say we had a bit of a falling out a long time ago . It was more of a conflict of beliefs . I realized later that I've been the one in the wrong. I wanted to talk to him but I never had the courage to admit my mistake . It wasn't until recently that I finally made up my mind to do it . But then I heard the news .."
He went quiet at the last sentence , Sam didn't say anything but he was curious about why he stopped . He noticed the guy fixing his gaze on the floor , his hand clutched in frustration .
" He died before we reconciled . I missed the chance to apologize for all the harm I caused , the chance to redeem myself and atone for the sins I committed. He died without knowing how I felt , his last memory of me was not of a friend but of an enemy . He must've hated until his last breath."
Sam was listening intently to every word he said . It wasn't everyday that he had a chance to know about his father's past . He was surprised by how much history the two shared . Although he was bothered by the agonized tone in the man's voice.
He glanced at his father . His dad never seemed troubled about anything and never seemed the type of person to hold a grudge . At least , that's how he knew him .
" I don't think that's true . " The man was startled by the young boy's statement .
" You don't ? "
" Not , not at all . My father was a kind , forgiving man . I've never seen him hold a grudge against anyone , even if someone bothered him . If he had a childhood friend who he hated , he would've always been troubled by it . But he was always bright , so knowing he must've forgiven you long ago . His last memory of you was most likely a friend not an enemy . At least that's what I think . " He did mean it . After all, this guy seemed to really regret it . It was the right thing to free him . He stared at Sam with wide open eyes before a grateful , happy smile graced his face .
" That's a relief . Thank you , you really eased my mind . "
" You're welcome . "
" You really love your father , don't you ? " Asked the man . Sam gazed above him as he thought back to everything he's been through with his father . A nostalgic fond smile graced his face as he spoke :
" I really do . I am happy he is my father , no one else . " He shifted his gaze back to the guy . He was stunned to see the guy's smile falter , although he quickly hid it but Sam caught it .
" I see , that must be nice . " He paused , looking at Sam with a smile . " I'm a little jealous ."
But he can see that it was a fake one . Sam also noticed that his eyes held a lot of pain and sufferance , and even self loath . Although the guy did a great job masking it . ' He's good at hiding his emotions . It's like he's been wearing a mask for too long .' he noted . He was about to walk away when the man spoke again .
" Your father must have been proud of you . " Sam laughed nervously .
" I wonder about that . "
" Hmm ? What do you mean ? "
" My mother died when I was born . So it was my father who took care of me my whole life . He never got remarried or even focused on his life .
He threw away everything for my sake . " He stared at the ground , unable to lift his gaze from it due to feeling shame .
" He must've hated me for it … " He mumbled to himself so that the man wouldn't hear him . Even if he had heard him he would have agreed . I mean who wouldn't? He was nothing but a burden who held his father back from obtaining happiness . If this guy is his friend then he must feel the same .
" You're wrong about that . " Sam looked at him with wide eyes . The man was frowning .
" What do you mean ? "
" You said it yourself , John was a kind , forgiving man . If he forgave me , his friend who caused him nothing but suffering. Do you think he'll hate you ? His own child ? . "
" You do make a point but that alone doesn't mean it's true . I was nothing but a burden , a curse that held him … " Sam went quiet when he saw the guy's stern look .
"A father can never hate his own blood . It is more than just a title , more like love , you can really understand it only when you truly experience it , when you live up to its full responsibility . And I don't think you need me to tell you about John . So yeah , kid . He loves you . "
" You don't know that ! "
" Yes I do ! If he even allows such a thought into his head , he doesn't deserve to be a father! It's a mérite that only a few can fully enjoy . You have just lost someone close to you . You're dealing with emotions that make you unable to think straight . So as a result , you're blindly subjecting yourself to that grief , allowing those intrusive emotions to overwhelm you , guiding you to a path that will only end in regret . From now on , you will continue into your path , one of your creations , for better or worse . There will come a time when you can barely recognize the person you see in the mirror and what will help you decide what kind of person you wanna be are the thoughts you allow to take control of your personality . In the meantime , they're restraining you from seeing the bigger picture , they can only break you if you allow them too . And John wouldn't want that , now would he ? He loves you dearly . " He finished , giving time to Sam to take each word into his mind . Sam himself was in a conflict of his own . He wanted to believe the guy's words , he really did . But there was another part of him that was fiercely denying it , torturing him , wanting to take control , in a negative way . He always struggled with that side of him but this time it was stronger than ever .
" Of course I mean it , at least that's what I think ."
Replied the old man as he lifted Sam's chin to face him . For some reason , his smile reminded him of his father's . The same warmth , the same softness , kindness . ' This man is really my father's friend ' he thought as he smiled gratefully at him . " Thank you , I really needed that . "
" That should be my line , thanks to you I feel like my shoulders are lighter now . If you'll excuse me now , I have to go . " Half way through the corridor , Sam called out to him .
" Wait , you didn't tell me your name . " The guy kept facing him with his back . He was silent for a short while , as if contemplating what to do which was strange to Sam .
" It's Kyle , my name Is Kyle . " It somehow seemed strange , as if he wasn't getting used to saying that name .
" Pleasure to meet you Kyle . "
" No, the pleasure is mine … Sam . " He said from a distance as he went on his way . As soon as he left . Sam realized something .
" Wait , I didn't tell him my name . How did he know ? " He was suspicious now , the guy seemed to know a lot and he wasn't giving anything clear about himself, only vague information .
" Well I guess I should at least be thankful to him . He did help me . I hope we can meet again . "
He turned back to look at his father , his mind now calmer than before and his shoulders lighter than a grain of dust .
" You've done well . I'm gonna take care of everything now , rest in peace . You've earned it ."
He can swear he saw his father's lips curve into a faint smile , but he dismissed it as his imagination. He was really tired . He should take some rest . With that idea in mind , he headed back to the house .
From a distane , Kyle was walking a fair distance from the church before he stopped mid away . His eyes suddenly darkened as he looked far ahead . " I'm sure we will . " He whispered .
The funeral went well after that . No one made a comment about Sam , he was relieved to be out of the spotlight . He can now finally send his father off with a smile . He couldn't find Kyle no matter how much he looked . Which was weird to him since he took off before the funeral was over .
No one came from school , he understood why July and Mike haven't. They weren't fans of a big crowd , but he knew they would come later .
However other students were a different story .No one , not even his own classmates . ' I'm pretty sure no one even noticed that I'm gone . ' he thought with a sigh .
Two days had passed . He was feeling better . But he couldn't shake off the loneliness he was feeling . His father was his only family , no relatives on both sides . So he had no one now .
He was glad Mike and July were there but he wasn't sure even them could fill that void .
While he was in deep thought , he heard the bell ringing. ' it must be them . ' he thought with a smile , it widened when he opened the door to find his two best friends .
" Hi Sam ! " Greeted July , not giving him a chance to greet back as she brought him a hug.
He hugged her back , it usually gave him a sense of warmth , but now it was actually cold . ' July never hugged me first , she always was too shy ' .
July was the same age as Sam , probably older by a month . She was a gorgeous redhead with light brown eyes . They separated from the hug .
" Yo . " Greeted Mike with his usual stoic face . He was wearing a black vest with Jeans of the same colour . He had spiky black hair . Sam sweat dropped .
" Hey Mike . " . ' He's still an Emo . '
" You just insulted me in your head , didn't you ? " He asked, narrowing his eyes ,Sam shook his head . " No … yes … no .. "
" Which one is it ? "
" Stop Mike . Sorry Sam , you know how he is . " Interfered July , she always had to interfere to solve conflict between the two boys , they were polar opposite . One was always cheerful and bright and the other was a stoic emo .
" Come on in . " Invited Sam , he guided him to the living room . " Make yourself at home . " He said, gesturing to the couch , they gratefully took a seat .
" So how are you feeling ? " Asked July
" I don't know . " Replied Sam , taking a seat on the chair across from them . " Honestly I don't know what to feel . I don't think sadness is enough to describe it . It's true that I feel much better but I still feel kind of empty inside . " He continued , clutching onto his shirt . He felt something on his hand , he looked up to see July squeezing his hand reassuringly . He smiled at her but it slightly faltered . It felt cold again , although he hid it again . July didn't seem to notice . " Thank you July . "
" You're very welcome . Mike is also here if you need him ,right Mike ? "
" Sure . " He said in a monotone voice , shrugging his shoulders . Sam resisted the urge to facepalm. ' You can fake another reaction you know . Doesn't your face turn to stone from staying stoic all the time ? '
" You thought something insolent about me again , didn't you ? " Sam laughed nervously .
" Where are my manners? Let me get you some coffee . " He rushed to the kitchen to avoid Mike's narrowed eyes . Once he got there , he released a sigh of relief . " He still scares me . " He was never able to fully understand Mike . He and July were very close , since July was cheerful and talkative .But Mike was always silent , preferring not to get involved with people . To Sam he seemed like the kind of guy who had walls around him . It always bothered him that he couldn't find his way around those walls . Because Mike always protected him when he needed help .
His train of thoughts was cut short when he heard a thud in the living room , followed by a scream of terror . He immediately rushed back , his mind expecting the worst .
" Hey guys, I heard a scream from the kitchen . Is everything ok … " He went silent when he saw the worst , what he was fearing right in front of him . Mike was lying still on the ground with July in front of him , covering her face in shock .
" Mi … Mike ! " He quickly knelt down by his side . His fear grew when he saw blood on his right . Shackley and carefully , he flipped him over . He froze when he saw his vest stained with blood .
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" I … I .. " He turned to July who was shaking with blood on her hands .
" July , what happened ? " He asked calmly to not startle her more than she already is .
" I'm … I don't know … I was just … " She gasped when she saw blood all over her hands . She covered her face as tears stained her cheeks .
' Damn it ! She's too panicked to think straight . ' Sam held her , and shook her, forcing her to look at him . Her eyes were full of panic and confusion.
" July … take a deep breath … " She slowly nodded her head and took several breaths . Her shaking lessened and her breathing was back to normal .
" Are you calm now ? " She nodded her head .
" Alright … now tell me what happened . "
" Someone … someone … broke in …"
" Someone … who ? "
" I don't know , He tried to rob the place . I tried to stop him , but … I … couldn't … he had a knife … I was too scared to move when he came at me … That's when … Mike .. Pushed me … out of the way … "
" He was stabbed ? "
" Yes … He took the hit for me , he protected me … and because of it , he got hurt .. " Her eyes widened in fear , She covered her face again , mumbling the words " I'm sorry. " over and over .
Sam was pained to see her like this . July was always so bright , cheerful and was always there for him when he needed someone . And now seeing her breaking down , blaming her for something that was not her fault . It reminded him of how he felt when his father died , he hated seeing her like this .
She was surprised when she felt warm hands cupping her cheeks , gently wiping her tears away.
" Sam ? " she mumbled
" Shhh … It's alright … it's not your fault … "
" But .. Mike got hurt … "
" It's not your fault … Mike was trying to protect you … don't worry he's gonna be fine . " He soothed , brushing her face .
" Really ? " She held onto Sam's hand , desperately looking for any signs of hope . He smiled at her as he brushed her hands with his finger .
" Yes , we're gonna help him . But first I need you to do something for me . "
" What … is … it ? " She finally calmed down .
" I need you to go get me some fresh towels . I need them to stop the bleeding . There should be some in the bathtub . "
" Alright, I'll go get them . " She nodded her head and rushed to the kitchen . As soon as she was out of view , Sam's smile was replaced with utter panic as he knelt down next to Mike .
He tried to put some pressure on the wound .
" Hang on Mike ! You're gonna be alright ! " He reassured him , or perhaps he was trying to reassure himself . The blood wouldn't stop coming , his calmness was gone now . He barely kept together to calm July down .
' No use , the bleeding won't stop . He needs to go to a hospital . But who knows when they'll come ? He might not last until then . " His head was going over various thoughts , he held his head in his hands , overwhelmed by his panic .
He was brought back to his senses by Mike's rough coughing , blood spilling from his mouth.
" Sam … " He whispered weakly .
" Mike ! I'm here , I'm here ! "
"Sam .. "
" Save your strength, We're gonna get you to a hospital now .. "
" Ju …ly .. '' Sam faked a smile to hide his fear , but it wasn't enough to hide the river of streaming tears .
" She's fine , thanks to you … You protected her . She went to get you a fresh towel . She'll be back soon .. " His worry was growing now . ' shouldn't she be back by now ? "
" Don't… "
" What ? " He leaned closer to hear Mike's words.
" Don't … trust … "
" What are you talking about ? Don't trust who ? "
" Ju …ly .. " He managed to get out , his eyes fixed on the ceiling .
" Mike … Mike … Hey … talk to .." The words died on his mouth when he felt no pulse . The world around him froze , he stared down at his hands . The sight of blood , along with Mike's corpse brought back a familiar sense of dread , it was the same one he felt the moment his father passed . He felt a severe pain on his left side . His heart pounding faster , he started hyperventilating as he grabbed onto his shirt .
' Again … again … it happened again … I lost someone … Again , I let another person die in front of me … Why … why … does this happen..'
' You're weak … ' He heard a voice in his head.
" Huh? Who said that ? " He searched the room with his eyes but he found no one there .
' You're weak . ' He heard it again , it was similar to his usual voice but the tone was darker , colder.
" Who are you ? What do you mean by that ? "
' This is all your fault . ' Said the voice , Sam shook his head .
" That's not true … It's not .. "
' It is … you agree with me , don't you…'
"You're wrong … I don't think that … "
' I'm not wrong , weren't you just thinking about it right now ? ' Sam's eyes widened in shock . He never said it out loud , the thoughts only crossed his mind . How did this voice know ?
' Isn't it obvious ? I'm in your head . I know everything about you . I was with you all along . '
" You … were … with … me ? "
' That's right , you can't say that you never knew about me … ' Come to think of it , he always felt him in his mind . Another side of him , constantly trying to drag him toward the darkness . Always making him blame himself , but he thought it was just because he was grieving .
' It's your fault .. '
" No..."
' Yes ! "
" No … " He buried his head in his arms
' Yes ! ' The voice was getting louder .
" No ! " He screamed in a pained voice . The voice chuckled darkly at him as it continued .
' It's your fault , your father's death , Mike … It's all your fault ! Because you stood still without doing anything, because you were helpless … you won't tell you why you were helpless ? '
" No … " He mumbled under his breath , the voice in his head made the sound of a smirk .
' Because you're weak ! You're weak ! Pathetic , you can't even save one person ! How pitiful , how shameful ! Disgrace .. You're nothing ! You're not even worth living ! " The echoing chuckles gave him a throbbing headache . He held his head in pain . " You're wrong … you're wrong … you're wrong … " He kept murmuring , rocking back and forth , curled up in a ball .
" You're talking to yourself … have you gone crazy already ? " He heard a voice behind him .
' This voice … ' He recognized that voice , it was missing its usual cheerful , kind tone . He was about to stand up when he sensed something sharp grazing his neck . It was so close that a line of blood was falling down his neck .
" Don't move …Or else… I will kill you … " She threatened , his left eye traced the sharp object only to find a hand instead . ' A hand ? ' he was staring at her fingernails , it was longer than a lighter and sharper than a blade , at his neck .
He slowly glanced over his shoulder to see his attacker . He almost passed out from fear and shock . It was July no doubt , same height , same clothes , same voice . But her face was different .
Her eyes were half black , a dark straight lown going down from her chin to the bottom of her neck . What frightened him the most was the two black horns on her temples , although the right one was broken in half . ' She's not Human … '
" Have you realized it by now ? "
" It was … you … wasn't it … the one who killed Mike ? "
" That's right , it was me .. "
" No wonder it was weird . You said someone tried to rob the place , but there was nothing missing . He wouldn't panic and run away just because he stabbed someone . He brought a knife , he was expecting this , but the knife was no nowhere to be found . There were no scratches on the window , no signs of breaking and entering on the door either . He didn't pretend to be a visitor because I didn't hear the bell ring . What's more suspicious is that I haven't heard a single noise in the time all of this happened . I knew from the start that your story was false . "
" If you knew then why didn't you do something? "
" I didn't wanna believe it . The July that I know would never do such a thing . She was too kind , she would never hurt anyone . Now that I think about it , it makes sense . "
" What makes sense? "
" The weird feeling I've been getting since you came here . Even when you hugged me and squeezed my hand , it was chilling . You're not July , are you ? " His voice and face were blank , completely void of emotion . She was calmer , not at like she was before .The only visible emotion on his face was utter despair , it was also filling his voice . July stared at him for a few minutes before she whistled in amazement .
" I gotta hand it to you , you're quite smart . "
" Who are you ? " Not just her shape and touch . Her voice was also cold , dark . Its tone somewhat resembles the voice he was hearing in his head . Although it is gone now .
" I am not July , at the very least now the one you know . I am a whole different being . " She replied , he showed no reaction . He was still trying to wrap his head around everything that just happened .
" What being ? "
" I could tell you but it won't change anything. Don't bother also asking about my name because I don't have such a thing either . "
" You have no name ? "
" It seems strange to you , doesn't it ? It must seem odd to you humans but not to us . Not that it matters what you think about me . I have absolutely no interest in you " She walked past him and stood up in front of Mike's dead body checking his pulse to confirm his death . Once she was sure , she turned back to Sam .
" I don't understand . If you have no interest in me then why are you here ? "
" It's not my choice . I was ordered to bring you . "
" Ordered ? By who ? "
" I can't tell you that either . But you can say he's kind of a higher up where I come from . " Sam was still staring at her . He wanted to run but he was completely paralyzed in his place , his mind also frozen , unable to think of a way to do it .
" You're afraid of me ? I wonder what you're gonna do when you get there . Because believe me , I'm sugar coating it when I say it's gonna be way worse than death ! " She did not feel any sympathy for him , nor did she hate him as well .
She was neutral , he was only a target . Only a mission , she only has to bring him to the king . She couldn't care less about what happens after that . It's none of her business .
" Is that so .. " He whispered as he stood up . Her eyes narrowed dangerously . " Didn't I tell you not to move or I 'll kill you . " He started laughing , which made her angry .
" What's so funny ? "
" Do you think after everything that happened , I will be afraid of something as trivial as that ? " He asked, still staring at the ground .
" What are you blabbering … " She cut herself off when she saw his face . His eyes were void of emotion as a crazed smile made its way into his face .
" My father , my two friends . I lost everyone that I care about . Do you really think I still care about my life ? There's nothing left to care about . Plus you said it yourself , if I go with you to him it's gonna be worse than death . If that's the case then I'd rather die right now . I broke your warning , so go ahead … kill me .. " She didn't show it , but her eyes held a slight fear . ' He's not even slightly afraid ..Is he that far broken ?'
" What's the matter ? You don't wanna do it … No it's more like you can't do it … can you ? " His insane smirk unnerved her . " Your mission was to bring me alive , otherwise you would've killed me the minute you walked in here . And for someone like you to follow orders , you must be really terrified .. " He started marching slowly toward her, which took her off guard . She took a step back . " What are you doing ? " She asked , on guard .
He stopped a few inches away from her . Her eyes widened when she saw him spread his hands , leaving himself completely vulnerable .
" What are you waiting for ? Hurry up, kill me ! " She was now the one afraid . ' What is this feeling ? Why am I hesitating'
" Hurry up and kill me … or could it be … that you're afraid of me ? " She tensed up , no way , there's absolutely no way this kid is human ! His actions , his voice , his look resembled that of a demon rather than a human . She slowly raised her hand , contemplating whether to do it or not .
" Come on ! Do it ! Kill me . You're afraid of just a weak human ? Pathetic ! " He taunted , finally getting on her nerves . Her anger flared up as raised her hands to do it . " Don't underestimate …" She suddenly froze in her place , Shock replaced her anger . Sam was also stunned.
" What … how are you ..you should be … "
" Dead ? " He finished for her . Sam wanted to say something, but he was speechless . His previous crazed smile and arrogance was gonna now . He was back to his usual self . He couldn't believe what he was seeing . Mike , completely well now standing behind July with a blade , thrusted in her back .
" I checked … there was no pulse … I killed you ! You shouldn't be alive .. How are you here ! " She demanded in frustration , Mike smirked .
" You shouldn't have let your guard around me … you should already know that humans are full of tricks up their sleeves . " She smiled faintly as she sensed her consciousness slipping away .
" I guess It's my fault for thinking I could foul a warlock .. " she mumbled , resigning to her fate .
Mike pushed the blade even further . The moment her eyes reverted back to their usual color , a dark shadow escaped from her eyes and fled away using the nearest window . July's body lost balance and started falling . Sam snapped out of his thoughts and caught her in her arms just before she hit the floor .
" July … July … Can you hear me ? " Despair overwhelmed him once again when he felt nothing , but a cold lifeless corpse .
' There's no way this can be happening . ' He suddenly turned his head to Mike who started wiping the traces of his blood on the floor .
" What … are .. you … doing ? " It was so low he could barely recognize it . He was not himself now , no .. he was no longer himself since everything started .
" Wiping any traces "
" Why ? "
" So that they won't track us . We're leaving now."
It took him a few moments to fully wipe every trace . He stopped when he noticed Sam , staring at him in confusion .
" What are you doing ? Hurry up and get up ! Didn't you hear what I just said ?! "
" Why should I trust you ? " Questioned in a low voice .
" Huh ? What do you mean ? "
" Why should I trust you ?! You were literally dead a minute ago ! I saw you , I felt nothing when I touched your neck ! You came here in July and she turned out to be a monster! And suddenly you wake up like nothing happened and Stab her . And you casually ask me to come with you ! "
Mike scratched his head in annoyance .
" I don't have time for this . " He whispered
" Why should I trust … " He suddenly lost his balance when Mike walked past him and chopped off his neck . He fell on the floor .
" I'm Sorry, There's no time . I'll explain everything when you wake up . " Whispered Mike as he knelt down next to him .
" Mike … " Was the last word he mumbled before it all went dark , his eyes closing drifting into sweet unconsciousness .